James18

I've started this thread for somewhere to come and post if I start struggling, and to record the days I'm sober (hopefully more than just today this time). Maybe if I can see any progress I make laid out in front of me, I'll think twice before throwing it away and heading for the bottle.

Any tips or ideas are welcome. I need all the help I can get at this stage. I'm not sure anyone in my offline life is taking my struggle all that seriously.

Newatthis34

Hi James,

I'm in a similar boat. Day 1 again. Been on and off for over a year now and just can't seem to stay sober. Matters not being helped by as you say people not taking me seriously. I guess maybe I haven't given much evidence that I am serious. Becoming a joke now with someone even asking me the other day jokingly 'Are you on or off the wagon at the moment?!' Feeling like a right fool.

Hevyn

Hi James. I think the thread is a good idea. We're all with you - you're definitely not alone in the struggle, and we understand.

My family & friends didn't seem to understand what I went through either - even though most of them saw the devastation and havoc drinking had caused. There was a lot of criticism and judgment, but no real understanding. Here at SR you have the support of people who've been there. Glad you both are here.

James18

When I say I'm giving up the booze I usually get "yeah, right - that old chestnut?!" or something similar. I think they think I like being difficult. It's not fun...I dont do it on purpose!

maybebabey

This is the hardest part about booze - other people. I remember 20 years ago, the first time I tried to stop smoking, everyone behaved much like they do now re booze. I was ridiculed and asked how I would relax or enjoy a cup of coffee without a cigarette. Nowadays smoking is recognised by everyone as an awful addiction with no benefits or upsides. Most people don't smoke (in the UK) and for those that do you are relegated to staying far away from the majority who don't smoke. You are an outcast now if you smoke.

Drinking today feels like smoking used to. People look at you like your mad if you don't drink and wonder how you could possibly have any fun in life. And yet I sit here wondering how many years will pass before the majority feels the same way about alcohol as they now do about cigarettes....

You are simply ahead of your time :-)

visch1

Hi. The simple answer though not easy is we keep our mouths shut and think about not drinking as a start. I needed AA but some like to do it their way with varying results. I needed to surrender to the fact I cannot drink in safety and get honest with myself which is not always easy as we BS ourselves about our drinking. BE WELL

LadyBlue0527

USE that James18! Use that to your advantage when you start to think about drinking. I don't know if this is acceptable to tell you but one thing that keeps me going is imagining my husband saying to me "See, I knew you were weak and couldn't do it". He would never just come out and say that but I can imagine me being drunk and having an argument because of it and that coming out of his mouth.

You must quit for YOURSELF. No one else. However, I've developed little tricks to keep myself in check. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel that I have anything to prove to him because my sobriety belongs to ME. However, he's seen me try many times and fail. This time that's not going to happen.

Ugh, it bothers me when people do that. You would think that the fact that someone is trying to quit would be the point, not that they've previously failed. People are mean.

Come here, and come here often, you'll find great support.

doggonecarl

You readily admit you have a problem with alcohol. You might need to readily admit you can't do address this problem on your own. That's a problem too, not being willing to do what it takes to get sober.

SR is a great resource...a great place for support. Is it enough for you? What can you try that you've been afraid to try, or have been too quick to dismiss as, "Not for me"?

James18

My problem so far is I'm too soft and have difficulty saying no, or not doing things people want me to. I feel like I'm disappointing people by not doing what they want me to. I need to address this to move on.

Anna

James, I tried numerous times to stop and failed, too. I found what worked for me was not talking about it with family/friends. I was really too vulnerable to be listening to any kind of comments from people in my life.

This thread is a good idea and we are here for you. Keep checking in and let us know how you're doing.

Nuudawn

In my two previous attempts at sobriety...I was pretty "loud" about it. It defined me. I joined AA, I talked about it to everyone shared it with co-workers and superiors..perhaps the odd person on the street..yadda yadda. It has become a lot more personal for me this time. For the most part, I am deeply accountable to myself and the God of my understanding. I would be completely lost without the allies in battle that I require in sobriety, I would say SR is one of my greatest as well as my therapist and a couple choice friends.

Nuudawn

At the expense of yourself? Why is their happiness/comfort more important than yours. You are not a sofa for people to curl up on.

James18

I don't know, but I guess this is what I need to figure out. I need to put myself first for a change.

James18

It's time to get pro-active. I'm gonna do this...first step is to find something to fill my days. I'm out of work at the moment and spare time is my enemy at the moment and it shouldn't be. If I can't find a job, I need something to get me out of the house and motivated again. I'm gonna start with a morning routine - alarm, breakfast, workout, walk...I need to get myself sharp again.

Nuudawn

In sobriety, I find I have gotten up close and personal ..with me. The only way I can not lose my mind, is by putting my mind and its well being as my top priority. Without putting your sobriety/self first by whatever means possible, it's an uphill battle.

Tang

People laugh when I say I'm taking a break from drinking. My spouse doesn't even understand (and she doesn't drink). So, yeah, when the rest of the world shrugs off drinking as no big deal, it makes it harder for those of us in the "problem club" to take ourselves seriously.

I'm not drinking today, that is for sure.

doggonecarl

Routine is great. I think it's a healthy component to recovery. But routine alone may not ensure sobriety. If you have so much time, find support to assist you in this sober journey.

Dee74

Like I said in your other thread, success for me was contingent on making changes.

I tried just not drinking - but in a life that I'd built around my drinking, that didn't go down too well.

I didn't like to disappoint friends either, so I drank.
I didn't know how to deal with situations or emotions without drink so I drank.
I didn't know how to handle fear, so I drank

I needed to make some major changes to my life - far beyond just not drinking - if I really wanted to be sober.

D

James18

You are definately right Dee, I know that making life changes is the only way to make any real progress. Since I first posted on here I've moved house and that has made things easier with my my friends. I'm not just round the corner anymore so I don't have the added problem of peer pressure I was doing. My partner drinks though, but is beginning to realize I have a moderation issue. She's also been on the other end of my foul moods once or twice. I've said some pretty unpleasent things more than once.

Anyway...it's morning 2 and I've had the worst night's sleep ever (with intermittent bad dreams). I'm alive, sober and not hung over though

Dee74

It can only get better James

D