vonkytonk

Hello all.

Newbie here and wanted to say hi to you all!

20 years of reckless drinking has impeded my progress on every level so kissed goodbye to the booze 5 weeks ago today. Went to a few AA meetings but the atmosphere was so awful and dreary I knew I couldn't do them for eternity. Attended a SMART session and that was more like it so will return.

Saw AVRT on here and read more and more and glad I did because my usual abstinence complacency (I have had numerous dry spells over the years) has already set in - 'you can control it., maybe moderation is the way for you, you deserve a beer at the end of the week' etc ....

I never had a strategy to fight this complacency that would inevitably slip into full scale horror binges. AVRT I like due it's simplicity and I hope I can demean this complacent thinking for what it it is - my AV toying with me again.

I feel already liberated and excited about what a booze free life will mean for me and my partner.

Wanted to just say thanks for your support over the comings months and years. x

Dee74

welcome vonkytonk

I'm not a devotee, but I think AVRT will give you some tools to deal with that kind of inner dialogue for sure

D

vonkytonk

Thanks Dee74. Glad to be here. I know this forum will bolster my resolve exponentially. The inner dialogue can become a cacophony at times and coming on here will really help me.

Hope your doing well my friend!!

IOAA2

Hi. In our desire to be sober there are some things that alcoholics should address besides wanting to stop drinking which is usually much easier than staying stopped. I first had to get honest with myself and I don’t mean cash register honest. Quite often our brains are damaged by our immature behavior of trying to escape our feelings by drowning them in alcohol with the result of our immaturity increasing and we listen to our beasts within trying to convince us we want more poison to feel better. Denial is a very large reason people don’t address their problem so drink more. AA and other words of recovery are scary and rejected mainly because of ignorance or the great I am don’t need that. And on and on. Honesty and surrender results in a much more comfortable life if we let it.

fifth

Congratulations for your well earned 5 weeks vonkytonk, please keep posting you seem to be a very interesting person.

vonkytonk

Thanks guys. I think I need to crystallise the real triggers for me picking up a drink. After all these years I don't truly think I have. There is a nuclear reactor of sorts that drives the urges that I need so much help in deactivating but that may be a while. In the meantime I can control not reacting to certain emotional, deep rooted psychological triggers that fire me into the oblivion with unrelenting power.

Hevyn

Welcome to you vonky! It's wonderful to have you join us.

I don't think I ever truly understood why I picked up when I knew it was destroying me. I had to be brought to my knees to stop. I'm glad that you're taking a serious look at your triggers & trying to make sense of it. Congratulations on your 5 weeks. You're right, it's great to be free - and to have a beautiful, healthy life to look forward to.

vonkytonk

Cheers Hevyn.

Sounds like you're doing really well. Means so much that people are already lending a helping hand on here and giving support.

I hope that at some point that I will not have to chronically think about alcohol. A long road ahead awaits....

fifth

"I don't think I ever truly understood why I picked up when I knew it was destroying me. I had to be brought to my knees to stop."

very inspirational words Hevyn....it is so easy to slip and so hard to ride back the wagon.

Nuudawn

Cacophony..now's there's a 20 dollar word. I had to look it up : ) Welcome. You say you're struggling with complacency. When recalling the 20 years of drinking life, how much evidence can your addiction find that would support your ability to have just one beer or to moderate or that alcohol solved anything? Since I have now fully absorbed the fact that alcohol is poison by definition, my logical mind has a hard time wrapping itself around "moderating hits of poison" or that I deserve a little hit of poison after a hard week.

Anna

It sounds like you're finding that stopping drinking is not the whole answer. In fact, it's just the beginning of the journey. I had so many issues I needed to deal with, so many feelings I had simply ignored and numbed for so long. Congratulations on 5 weeks sober and good for you for seeking support to avoid a relapse.

Petecrab

Good to have you here. I wish you all the best in your recovery =]