drunkyjules

Hi all -

I'm sure some of you have dealt with this problem but I quit drinking and have 115 days sober, now I'm having a problems with thinking of smoking weed. The old voice in my head trying to rationalize, justify and bargain its way into just having "a little".

I know this is just another way for me to not deal with life on life's terms. Just to have an escape and not think so much, not worry so much etc.

I'm really in the position now where I shouldn't be smoking. Any wise words???

Elisabeth888

It sounds like weed could potentially become unmanageable for you. If you are like me, you will do it to extremes. I have been on the marijuana maintenance program and I smoked like cheech and chong.

Dee74

Pot was my first drug - I used it in exactly the same way as I did alcohol later and I destroyed my life just as much on either drug, Jules.

Turns out I was the problem - always wanting to escape things or avoid feelings - and sooner or later I got owned by whatever it was I was taking.

Don't go back down that road, cos it is the same road.

D

drunkyjules

Dee I know your right. I just don't know what to do with myself sometimes. I guess I just need to learn to deal with the feelings and sometimes deal with being uncomfortable for whatever reason and know it will pass.



Maybe banging my head on a wall would help??

Dee74

I think time and support work better

It took me most of my first year to learn how to fully live sober - you'll probably be quicker than that tho - I had 30 years of stuff to unpick and start again

D

Anna

Yeah, as Dee said, it's the 'inside' changes that you need to make so that one substance or another does not take over. You can learn that letting go is possible and that you can get past this.

drunkyjules

I'm probably making it worse by hating myself for having the thoughts. It would be much better just to accept the fact that I'm having these feelings, evaluate why I feel like smoking might help me or what I think smoking would solve and move forward from there.

I am overwhelmed with life right now. Maybe making a to-do list and getting started on these projects instead of sitting around beating myself up for wanting to use.

It sounds so reasonable when I put it like that!

TKS

This may be an unpopular comment - but has weed ever been an issue for you in the past ? While I'm staying sober, I have no personal internal battles with smoking a little bit of ganja on occasion because it's never been a problem substance in my life, and quite frankly I don't love doing it much, so there simply isn't an addiction potential.

But.... If you have a history of being a big smoker, then steer clear. Replacing the daily high of booze with a daily high of weed won't help. If however, you're only a 'sometimes smoker', then (in my opinion) it's no different to a pharmaceutical-assisted medical withdrawl program.

Dee74

Having the thoughts is one thing - but it's what we do in response that counts Jules
Sounds to me like you're doing well

D

drunkyjules

If only I could put it a better way but basically I would be bull$hitting you. I love to smoke like I love to drink. Of course the impact alcohol has is so much worse because its just crazy drunkenness and weed - I'd probably chill and watch TV, have the munchies and go to bed.

In the end though I'm not one of the people who can (or wants) take it or leave it - I always want more......more.....more....

I've been fooling myself for years having a steady job and all those things grown-ups have that the drugs and alcohol weren't impacting my life but that's total B.S.

Dee74

I think it's important to remember this is a recovery site...and we stick to this rule pretty closely in the Newcomers forum

you're free to think or do whatever you like in your own life TKS...but we need to remember there are many people here on SR who, like me, have destroyed their lives on weed, or watched their loved ones destroy their lives.

I'm sorry TKS - I don't believe me and my mates bonging our heads off bore any resemblance to a pharmaceutically-assisted medical withdrawal program.

D

TKS

Good Morning D - I was mindful of how I worded my post, and was in no way suggesting that 'bonging his head off' was a valid recovery mechanism. However, two weeks of solid benzo intake vs. a bit of a puff a couple of times a week (for the non-weed-addict!).... well I believe that the former has more cross addiction potential.

Jules has since posted that he 'loves to smoke', so my previous comment should be considered:

If you have a history of being a big smoker, then steer clear. Replacing the daily high of booze with a daily high of weed won't help


EDIT: Just read your edit, Dee. point taken and thanks for the rules clarification.

Grungehead

Another thing to consider is that smoking weed can impair your judgement to the point that you might consider picking up a drink in a situation where you normally wouldn't. I know that if I smoked weed right now I would consider it a relapse, and then my mind would rationalize that I blew it and might as well get drunk. "Insane" comes in many forms and it will always lead me back to a drink.

My last relapse (which lasted for 8 years) started out with me getting physically addicted to pain pills after open heart surgery. I don't consider myself an addict because I have never had a mental obsession for opiates, but I started drinking again after 7 years sober while I was taking the pain pills. I was able to get off of the pain pills but not the booze.