1st Post & 12 days Sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 41
1st Post & 12 days Sober
This is my first post on SR. I've been lurking for last few weeks and felt it was finally time to join. So, here I am and this is my story.
I've been a binge drinker since I was 20 (15 years) getting bombed 3-4 nights a week and sometimes more. Most weekends I find myself in the morning extremely hungover(sweats, headache, exhausted) and trying to piece together my latest drunken escapade. Beer and shots are my poison and often I don't stop until I'm in a stupor. I always said I'd could quit at anytime but never gave it serious effort. I didn't want to miss out on the fun and lose all my "friends" (drinking buddies). I have done a lot of shameful and embarrassing things when drunk over the years that disgust me. I used to drive drunk all the time when I was younger. Got a DWI when I was 21. Crashed my car, puked all over myself, and landed in jail. As i got older i would "plan" my drunks. Making sure i had a ride home from the bar, or making sure there was enough booze at home to be able to tie one on, etc. that didnt stop me from occasionaly making a fool out of myself. Who doesnt pass out in the yard or sitting on a barstool. I'd get extra plowed then swear to myself that I would quit. After a few days of licking my wounds I would start to feel better then head back to the bar. I never learned. I mean, it's so fun right? And it's so worth blowing $50-100 a night! I'm completely worthless when I'm hungover and I've missed out on a lot of things. It's affected my family, my personal life, and it's negatively affected my business. 12 days ago, hungover and fed up, I read an inspirational book that I had been wanting to read for a long time. It inspired me and I decided I was going to make drastic changes. I was going to get sober and focus on getting healthy. All the beer and booze went down the drain that day. I was serious about it this time. The first few days were fine because I was still recovering from my last bender. Several days in a row after that found me itching to go out and bored. But I stayed home and kept my mind occupied with things I had been neglecting to do because of alcohol. I've been sleeping good, but find myself having some vivid dreams. Guess I was just used to be in an alcohol induced coma every day! I'm doing a lot better now and feel better too. I feel like I'm thinking more clearer now. My drinking friends have all but disappeared since being told I quit. That's to be expected and I figured I'd lose "friends" over my decision to give up booze. This is the best decision I've ever made and I only regret not doing this sooner. I've been a drunk my entire adult life and don't want to stumble and fall again. Do I keep doing what's worked so far, or should I consider getting some help in building myself back up?
I've been a binge drinker since I was 20 (15 years) getting bombed 3-4 nights a week and sometimes more. Most weekends I find myself in the morning extremely hungover(sweats, headache, exhausted) and trying to piece together my latest drunken escapade. Beer and shots are my poison and often I don't stop until I'm in a stupor. I always said I'd could quit at anytime but never gave it serious effort. I didn't want to miss out on the fun and lose all my "friends" (drinking buddies). I have done a lot of shameful and embarrassing things when drunk over the years that disgust me. I used to drive drunk all the time when I was younger. Got a DWI when I was 21. Crashed my car, puked all over myself, and landed in jail. As i got older i would "plan" my drunks. Making sure i had a ride home from the bar, or making sure there was enough booze at home to be able to tie one on, etc. that didnt stop me from occasionaly making a fool out of myself. Who doesnt pass out in the yard or sitting on a barstool. I'd get extra plowed then swear to myself that I would quit. After a few days of licking my wounds I would start to feel better then head back to the bar. I never learned. I mean, it's so fun right? And it's so worth blowing $50-100 a night! I'm completely worthless when I'm hungover and I've missed out on a lot of things. It's affected my family, my personal life, and it's negatively affected my business. 12 days ago, hungover and fed up, I read an inspirational book that I had been wanting to read for a long time. It inspired me and I decided I was going to make drastic changes. I was going to get sober and focus on getting healthy. All the beer and booze went down the drain that day. I was serious about it this time. The first few days were fine because I was still recovering from my last bender. Several days in a row after that found me itching to go out and bored. But I stayed home and kept my mind occupied with things I had been neglecting to do because of alcohol. I've been sleeping good, but find myself having some vivid dreams. Guess I was just used to be in an alcohol induced coma every day! I'm doing a lot better now and feel better too. I feel like I'm thinking more clearer now. My drinking friends have all but disappeared since being told I quit. That's to be expected and I figured I'd lose "friends" over my decision to give up booze. This is the best decision I've ever made and I only regret not doing this sooner. I've been a drunk my entire adult life and don't want to stumble and fall again. Do I keep doing what's worked so far, or should I consider getting some help in building myself back up?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 46
Hi Outdoorsman (hug)
Welcome to SR and thank you for your first post. You will find a lot of support here.
Well done on 12 days - that is AWESOME
I am also a binge drinker, blackouts - pretty much the same as you have described. I started at 14 years old. Im 30 now, married with 2 kiddies. My life has been a blur actually and I have also hurt my family in my drunken states - so I feel you!
I only joined SR in July so I am still fairly new here but the support has been invaluable. Since joining, what has worked for me so far is reading my first post to remind myself of why I have made this decision, reading the forums and the SR chat room.
The chat room has the most amazing people on day and night - the instant support there has kept me company many long nights and many challenging days - I also enjoy the humor and good laughs! Consider giving the chat room a try - would be great to see you there! I also find that it is a very safe space to chat - the moderators here do an excellent job to keep the chat room clean and supportive.
I have also got myself a therapist to help me deal with my emotions and feelings as these have been numb for the past 16 years and now that I am sober - the emotional rollercoaster is wild!
I think that you should keep doing what has worked so far and try new things too. I know for SURE that I cannot do this alone.
You are doing great - hope to see you around often.
Hugs
Shell
Welcome to SR and thank you for your first post. You will find a lot of support here.
Well done on 12 days - that is AWESOME
I am also a binge drinker, blackouts - pretty much the same as you have described. I started at 14 years old. Im 30 now, married with 2 kiddies. My life has been a blur actually and I have also hurt my family in my drunken states - so I feel you!
I only joined SR in July so I am still fairly new here but the support has been invaluable. Since joining, what has worked for me so far is reading my first post to remind myself of why I have made this decision, reading the forums and the SR chat room.
The chat room has the most amazing people on day and night - the instant support there has kept me company many long nights and many challenging days - I also enjoy the humor and good laughs! Consider giving the chat room a try - would be great to see you there! I also find that it is a very safe space to chat - the moderators here do an excellent job to keep the chat room clean and supportive.
I have also got myself a therapist to help me deal with my emotions and feelings as these have been numb for the past 16 years and now that I am sober - the emotional rollercoaster is wild!
I think that you should keep doing what has worked so far and try new things too. I know for SURE that I cannot do this alone.
You are doing great - hope to see you around often.
Hugs
Shell
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hello Outdoorsman ,
Welcome to SR . Congratulations on the 12 days
For me giving up the drink was one part of the issue learning how to ride the short term impulse .
The second part was working on how to deal with the up's and downs of life without "needing" to drink as a coping mechanism .
As for if you need more support or not ... how do you feel ? The way i see it , it might be prudent researching whats out there for the future , have a few sober friends in your life just incase of troubles.
Bestwishes, m
Welcome to SR . Congratulations on the 12 days
For me giving up the drink was one part of the issue learning how to ride the short term impulse .
The second part was working on how to deal with the up's and downs of life without "needing" to drink as a coping mechanism .
As for if you need more support or not ... how do you feel ? The way i see it , it might be prudent researching whats out there for the future , have a few sober friends in your life just incase of troubles.
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Outdoorsman, proud of you man! That takes a lot. You will find a ton of resources here, and lots of support, plus many many helpful people. I am also a binge drinker, and an opiate addict. I am trying to also remain clean and sober, and SR has been wonderful for me. Everything you said rings a bell with me, that is for sure. Thankfully I stopped the bar nights a few years back, but I could easily down two bottles of wine plus some on any given night.
Keep on posting.
Keep on posting.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Canada
Posts: 144
Welcome outdoorsman. 12 days is amazing!!
As far as needing more help - only you can answer that. Do you have a plan on the bigger scale to deal with boredom, anxiety, loneliness, cravings? Sooner or later you will be hit by some sort of trigger - do you have the tools within you to ride it out, or would it help to get some support and insight? Are there skeletons in your emotional closet that need to be told to move out, or taught to dance? Now is the time to consider these things, before the actual need hits.
Be honest with yourself about what will really help you. Some people aren't really equipped for AA. As stated by previous posters, there are other group options as well. Maybe one on one with a therapist would be helpful. Maybe something more metaphysical will help you. I don't think there's any harm or shame in looking at the options and doing an honest mental inventory of what will work for your beliefs and make-up.
As far as needing more help - only you can answer that. Do you have a plan on the bigger scale to deal with boredom, anxiety, loneliness, cravings? Sooner or later you will be hit by some sort of trigger - do you have the tools within you to ride it out, or would it help to get some support and insight? Are there skeletons in your emotional closet that need to be told to move out, or taught to dance? Now is the time to consider these things, before the actual need hits.
Be honest with yourself about what will really help you. Some people aren't really equipped for AA. As stated by previous posters, there are other group options as well. Maybe one on one with a therapist would be helpful. Maybe something more metaphysical will help you. I don't think there's any harm or shame in looking at the options and doing an honest mental inventory of what will work for your beliefs and make-up.
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Awesome - welcome to you!
I get your binge drinking habits. Been there, done that, got the big stuffed rabbit for it.
I am so thrilled that I don't do that anymore. I am surprised I am not in jail or dead as a doornail.
I get your binge drinking habits. Been there, done that, got the big stuffed rabbit for it.
I am so thrilled that I don't do that anymore. I am surprised I am not in jail or dead as a doornail.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 41
Thanks for the warm welcome and words of support. Looks like I made it through another weekend without any hangups. I was able to attend a class this morning that I've been wanting to take which I passed. We also were able to spend the entire afternoon with family that I haven't seen in a long time. We had a nice BBQ and caught up.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 97
Your story sounds just like mine! Right down to the quit date I've just been using these forums to keep on track. If I find I need additional help later, however I do plan to seek it. Congratulations and best wishes for the (sober) future!
I've just been using these forums to keep on track. If I find I need additional help later, however I do plan to seek it. Congratulations and best wishes for the (sober) future!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 41
Now on day 14 and feeling better everyday. Got a call yesterday from a buddy at 2 in the afternoon who needed a ride to the bar to get his car. He looked like hell when I picked him up. Had just gotten out of bed and was obviously hungover. Asked him how his night was, but he couldn't remember anything because of blacking out. When I dropped him off, he invited me in to "have a few" and I said no thanks. I couldn't imagine sitting in a bar and throwing away what I've achieved so far.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 10
Congrats on two weeks!
Last time I reached 14 days (working on it at the moment hehe), I was really starting to feel the benefits of sobriety, both mental and physical - hope you are too! Keep up the good stride.
Last time I reached 14 days (working on it at the moment hehe), I was really starting to feel the benefits of sobriety, both mental and physical - hope you are too! Keep up the good stride.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 41
Went out in the boat with my "best buddy"(lifelong drinking buddy) today and he brought beer with. It didn't bother me that he was drinking because I was having a good time cruising the lake. All he talked about was what was going on at the bar and drinking stories. It really got sickening. We get back to my place and he helps unload the boat and asks me to go to the bar. I said no thanks. I don't feel like going to the bar whatsoever. I don't miss it, but who's to say I won't tomorrow. He also offered to go get a case and bring it over. At that moment a beer really sounded good and I've said ok 1,000 times before without batting an eye. I reluctantly said no. The AV came out and I was put in a tough spot for the first time. Maybe I underestimated the addiction and its too early(16 days) to put myself in these sort of situations...
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