I was born "three drinks short of comfortable."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Central California
Posts: 322
I was born "three drinks short of comfortable."
I'm currently reading Drinking Diaries: Women Serve Their Stories Strainght Up. I'm almost at the end of the book. The line I used in the title served as an "Aha moment" for me. It's amazing that that's how I've felt for so long. I think it's surfaced since I relocated to my current city 6 years ago. My drinking has gradually and significantly increased since moving. I haven't made many friends and I'm very nervous around new people.
I've had several aha moments since starting reading recovery books. Prior to this I've read 2 books about recovery. Both were suggested in the sticky. I read Best Kept Secret - a novel and Diary of an alcoholic housewife -a memoir. Next on my list is Drinking: A Love Story. I have to say each has touched me in a different way. I've cried a lot while reading.
Despite the reading and coming to SR daily, I haven't kicked the habit. I've made it to 5 days twice. I drank last night and had a tallboy this morning to "cure" my hangover. Then I took some muscle relaxers to try to get to sleep. I was reading in bed when I came across the "three drinks short from comfortable." It was unsettling. I then looked at my CNN app and saw a news story about a woman who killed several people when she drove on a highway in the wrong direction. She was drunk. I drank last night and then hopped in the car for more. I wasn't wasted, but I was definitely over the limit. It wasn't a good decision. I've done horrible things under the influence. I don't want to do any more. I don't want to be a statistic. I don't want to be a bad mom. I want to free of anxiety and self-doubt.
Just now I dumped every prescription medication I have in the house (none are medically necessary). A week ago, I tapered off my zoloft. It seems like my life was easier BEFORE my doctor started throwing all these prescriptions at me. I've done things my doctor's way, now I want to do things my way.
I've gone to AA meetings. I have issues with the God part of it. I'm an atheist and I don't want to make my children or anyone/anything else a higher power. I do, however, enjoy listening to peoples' stories. I LOVE the welcoming smiles I get there, as well as the empathy and compassion. The acceptance I receive there makes me maybe only one or two drinks short of comfortable.... I think I'm going to start going to meetings again. I'm not going to work the steps or get a sponser, but I'll listen and share as long as I continue to be accepted. I don't generally know how AA members react to people who attend meetings, but don't do the "work" part. If I'm looked-down upon, I assure you I won't go back. If anyone could address this issue, I'd appreciate it. I have no issue with people working whatever program they need to get sober, and I feel I have the right to the same respect.
I don't know why I decided to write this thesis, but it feels better. Dumping those pills felt powerful. I'm going to do this one way or another. My family is worth it. I AM worth it, too.
Thanks for reading.
I've had several aha moments since starting reading recovery books. Prior to this I've read 2 books about recovery. Both were suggested in the sticky. I read Best Kept Secret - a novel and Diary of an alcoholic housewife -a memoir. Next on my list is Drinking: A Love Story. I have to say each has touched me in a different way. I've cried a lot while reading.
Despite the reading and coming to SR daily, I haven't kicked the habit. I've made it to 5 days twice. I drank last night and had a tallboy this morning to "cure" my hangover. Then I took some muscle relaxers to try to get to sleep. I was reading in bed when I came across the "three drinks short from comfortable." It was unsettling. I then looked at my CNN app and saw a news story about a woman who killed several people when she drove on a highway in the wrong direction. She was drunk. I drank last night and then hopped in the car for more. I wasn't wasted, but I was definitely over the limit. It wasn't a good decision. I've done horrible things under the influence. I don't want to do any more. I don't want to be a statistic. I don't want to be a bad mom. I want to free of anxiety and self-doubt.
Just now I dumped every prescription medication I have in the house (none are medically necessary). A week ago, I tapered off my zoloft. It seems like my life was easier BEFORE my doctor started throwing all these prescriptions at me. I've done things my doctor's way, now I want to do things my way.
I've gone to AA meetings. I have issues with the God part of it. I'm an atheist and I don't want to make my children or anyone/anything else a higher power. I do, however, enjoy listening to peoples' stories. I LOVE the welcoming smiles I get there, as well as the empathy and compassion. The acceptance I receive there makes me maybe only one or two drinks short of comfortable.... I think I'm going to start going to meetings again. I'm not going to work the steps or get a sponser, but I'll listen and share as long as I continue to be accepted. I don't generally know how AA members react to people who attend meetings, but don't do the "work" part. If I'm looked-down upon, I assure you I won't go back. If anyone could address this issue, I'd appreciate it. I have no issue with people working whatever program they need to get sober, and I feel I have the right to the same respect.
I don't know why I decided to write this thesis, but it feels better. Dumping those pills felt powerful. I'm going to do this one way or another. My family is worth it. I AM worth it, too.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
I went to AA meetings for a long time in the beginning of my sobriety. I never got past step one. I went to different kinds of meetings, each one had something different to offer. I enjoyed the people and the sharing. It helped me so much. I still go to a meeting every once in a while.
Breaking Thru
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,219
(((( amandaw ))))
I've been missing you
Dump away " yes "
As for the meetings , go , noone should insist anything
The only requirement is to have the desire to quit drinking / drugging
Keep at it , it'll come
Tr
I've been missing you
Dump away " yes "
As for the meetings , go , noone should insist anything
The only requirement is to have the desire to quit drinking / drugging
Keep at it , it'll come
Tr
Jules
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ohio
Posts: 279
Congrats on dumping the pills! I did the same thing with my booze and felt so much better after it was done. You are worth sobriety. I know for myself the alcohol made me a lot more depressed and anxious then I actually am while sober. Its hard to believe how much drugs and alcohol really impact us, even after we've sobered up.
Good luck on your journey. Keep posting!
Good luck on your journey. Keep posting!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I always felt I was 3 drinks short of comfortable too - but I found a lot of that was my fear and insecurity at work.
Nowadays I'm comfortable enough to be me - warts and all - a little shy.
if people don't like that they're not people I need in my life.
good job on dumping all that stuff.
I hope this can be a turning point for you amanda
D
Nowadays I'm comfortable enough to be me - warts and all - a little shy.
if people don't like that they're not people I need in my life.
good job on dumping all that stuff.
I hope this can be a turning point for you amanda
D
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