I think Godson is using again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
I think Godson is using again
Good evening,
My husband helped his godson get clean. He had been abusing oxycodone, and my husband sent him to an excellent addiction doctor, who gave godson some meds to wean off the Oxy. Godson took them for a while, but felt he didn't need them. He had been abusing pain meds for aout 15 years, since college. My husband talked to him every night, lending him a supportive ear and shoulder.
I kept telling dh that his godson needed to do something to help his quitting: meetings, come here, go to a therapist. Something! Godson did nothing. He also was engaged and getting married two months after getting clean. Dh advised him to postpone, but the wife to be is 38, never married, wants kids, as does he, so they got married in April.
Fast forward, godson has been skirting my dh's phone calls, doesn't return them, will only speak to my husband briefly to say that he and his wife are fighting like cats and dogs. My feeling has been that he is taking pills again, ever since he started avoiding my husbands calls. My husband is very upset, and Still wants to help his Godson, but I feel that if he is going to spend so much time on the phone with him, he needs to push his godson Into something more. Hamlin.
I don't know, just kind of venting. Thanks for bearing with me,
Nancy
My husband helped his godson get clean. He had been abusing oxycodone, and my husband sent him to an excellent addiction doctor, who gave godson some meds to wean off the Oxy. Godson took them for a while, but felt he didn't need them. He had been abusing pain meds for aout 15 years, since college. My husband talked to him every night, lending him a supportive ear and shoulder.
I kept telling dh that his godson needed to do something to help his quitting: meetings, come here, go to a therapist. Something! Godson did nothing. He also was engaged and getting married two months after getting clean. Dh advised him to postpone, but the wife to be is 38, never married, wants kids, as does he, so they got married in April.
Fast forward, godson has been skirting my dh's phone calls, doesn't return them, will only speak to my husband briefly to say that he and his wife are fighting like cats and dogs. My feeling has been that he is taking pills again, ever since he started avoiding my husbands calls. My husband is very upset, and Still wants to help his Godson, but I feel that if he is going to spend so much time on the phone with him, he needs to push his godson Into something more. Hamlin.
I don't know, just kind of venting. Thanks for bearing with me,
Nancy
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Nany, ir is sad that no matter how much we try to help a stuggling addict, in the end the recovery process is entirely up to them and out of our hands.
Your husband (and you) have done all you can, now maybe just pray for the godson and hope he finds a better path soon.
Hugs
Your husband (and you) have done all you can, now maybe just pray for the godson and hope he finds a better path soon.
Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
I agree about the stress, and this young man didn't find another way to deal with it. I wish he would get real help, not just my dh on the phone with him.
Thank you for your responses,
nancy
Thank you for your responses,
nancy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
maybe its time to let him figure this out for himself. your husband gave him all the support and opportunity he could....he advised him that getting married so quickly out of rehab was NOT a good idea....suggested that he needed to build his own support system....and he CHOSE not to listen, in fact went against all common sense and recommendations....and now here he is...using again.
you said he'd been using for 15 years AFTER college, so he isn't that YOUNG...35 ish? his new wife is 38? they are grown ups now....and need to experience the CONSEQUENCES of their decisions, instead of having someone swoop in and try and FIX everything.
not saying it's easy to watch....but he's not a little boy anymore...he thinks he's man enough to make his own decisions......let him.
you said he'd been using for 15 years AFTER college, so he isn't that YOUNG...35 ish? his new wife is 38? they are grown ups now....and need to experience the CONSEQUENCES of their decisions, instead of having someone swoop in and try and FIX everything.
not saying it's easy to watch....but he's not a little boy anymore...he thinks he's man enough to make his own decisions......let him.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
An addict can't rely on only one person for the recovery, it has to be a series of steps that include all the recommendations that you said, like therapy, meetings, etc. Some addicts think they can get rid of their addiction on their own, without any help, and I think we can all agree that it doesn't work.
As hard, painful and difficult as it can be, it is true that he has to be the one in control of his own recovery and nobody can push him to do it or force him to to anything. And you and your husband have done everything that someone could do.
Just trust that his higher power will soon show him the way and he will choose to do what has to be done to get rid of the nightmare of the addiction. My best wishes to you all.
As hard, painful and difficult as it can be, it is true that he has to be the one in control of his own recovery and nobody can push him to do it or force him to to anything. And you and your husband have done everything that someone could do.
Just trust that his higher power will soon show him the way and he will choose to do what has to be done to get rid of the nightmare of the addiction. My best wishes to you all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Godson smashed his truck at work, got a drug test. They think he "blocked" it, so they gave him another one. That one was clean, too, but they fired him. Said his behavior was erratic, I know they thought he was using something. His drug of choice was/is Oxy.
My husband is really upset. I told him and told him to not get emotionally involved in the outcome. His godson wasn't going to therapy, not going to meetings, no help at all! I knew he would go back.
Husband refuses to go to Alanon. I swear, being stubborn runs in his family.
Thanks for your help,
nancy
My husband is really upset. I told him and told him to not get emotionally involved in the outcome. His godson wasn't going to therapy, not going to meetings, no help at all! I knew he would go back.
Husband refuses to go to Alanon. I swear, being stubborn runs in his family.
Thanks for your help,
nancy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
