BlueChair

The last couple of nights I have been having nightmares that wake me up in the middle of the night and then I cant fall back asleep. Both nights they have had something to do with me looking for my husband and both times I find out he is dead, and that is what wakes me up I have this vivid image of him being dead. I think what Im seeing is reminding me of how he looked when he was in the ICU at the hospital and was pale from the internal bleeding. Someone close to me said that it is probably my minds way of moving through everything that has happened and it should pass. But I wake up so scared that something is wrong even though he is in a rehab and I know he is safe and being well cared for, and I have been in his room and I try to picture him there safe in my mind, and also I talk to him everyday. Im afraid to go to sleep tonight. I am tired and anxious from these dreams, and what can you do to stop nightmares and bad dreams, they are not really conscious thoughts. I was wondering if anyone else has had something like this happen repeatedly. Ive always had dreams, usually they are good ones though, or make no sense adn these are so real. Its like the bogey man is waiting for me to fall asleep so he can mess with my head.

BB89

Any dream I have that involves my ex is something close to a nightmare. The last one I had, he looked so terrible. His face was completely sunken in and he looked like a walking skeleton. I remember telling him in the dream to look at himself and what he had become. He was a shell of the person I knew. It was so sad and scary.

I'm not sure why you are having the nightmares but, for me, I think it is my subconscious reminding me of the reality of the situation. I would have these types of dreams even when he was doing well.

Ficus

I experienced distressing dreams as well. When I discussed them with my counselor, she recommended setting a boundary around dream topics as I would set boundaries around what I am willing to talk about and think about during waking hours. It worked for me. Undisturbed sleep is so crucial.

BlueChair

Thanks to both of you for replying to me. I was starting to think I was the only one who had nightmares. Your dreams sound vivid like mine were BB, and that makes it terrifying when you wake up. I will try to tell myself Im not going to dream these dreams, mostly Ive been begging please not tonight.

The night I wrote this I decided to run home to mom and dad. I told them all about my dreams and they insisted I stay the night there because it was probably too much for me being alone at home and not having him there with me after all I had been through. I still had a dream and it was bad, but he wasnt clearly there in the dream, it was one where you wake up and something is not right but you cant tell what exactly. Last night I didnt sleep much at all and have had a headache all day.

pravchaw

Hey Bluechair, I have a similar issue. I wake up around 2 or 3 thinking about my son. Usually a bowl of cereal and milk helps me go back to sleep. Have to watch my weight though. Gym really helps in getting good sleep.

BlueChair

Good ideas, especially the work in the gym. I think Im going to put more effort into this because I know it will ease some of the stress. I ate pop-tarts and milk.

zoso77

Nightmares? No. And what's interesting I have had dreams about other people in my life who have left. Some are dreams of closure. Some are dreams of regret. So, based on this, the footprint my AXGF left doesn't merit nightmares. Which is nice.

ZoSo

BlueChair

Hi Zoso. I remember you & your encouragement to take good care of myself including the still elusive massage I really need. I dont know what makes us have nightmares, its not something Ive had much of in the past. I think my brain is on overload and cant rest or something. Glad you didnt experience it.