Time to reclaim my life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 24
Time to reclaim my life
I have been going on drinking binges on and off for the last five years and finally enough is enough. I have lost my girlfriend of three years but hopefully if I change she may take me back. I have alienated my family and let everyone down. I hope that this is day one of the rest of my life, sober and content. I'm going to my first aa meeting tonight and I'm so scared of admitting I have a problem.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hello Eire88.
Most everyone here's had to suffer a lot of loss, especially in personal relationships, to some degree or another. I have to be sure. When alcohol is behind the losses then sober is the only real chance of recovering what's been lost or assuring the future wont be the same.
I commend you for deciding to go to an A.A. meeting. It's kind of hard for me to relate to your fear about opening up there. The reason being is that I've been in AA for enough years, I know how people in AA are and I know how people coming in for the first time are received--with hospitality, friendliness and non-judgment.
To put it into a metaphor... admitting to being an alcoholic or having a drinking problem is something not all of society reacts positively too. You who else gets marginalized in society? Geeks and nerds. Think of being open and yourself in AA as if you were a geeky kid walking into a comic book convention for the first time. No one's going to judge you for being you.
Most everyone here's had to suffer a lot of loss, especially in personal relationships, to some degree or another. I have to be sure. When alcohol is behind the losses then sober is the only real chance of recovering what's been lost or assuring the future wont be the same.
I commend you for deciding to go to an A.A. meeting. It's kind of hard for me to relate to your fear about opening up there. The reason being is that I've been in AA for enough years, I know how people in AA are and I know how people coming in for the first time are received--with hospitality, friendliness and non-judgment.
To put it into a metaphor... admitting to being an alcoholic or having a drinking problem is something not all of society reacts positively too. You who else gets marginalized in society? Geeks and nerds. Think of being open and yourself in AA as if you were a geeky kid walking into a comic book convention for the first time. No one's going to judge you for being you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 24
Thanks everybody for your kind words, I went to the meeting last night and felt comfortable to open up and confront the problem. I have a lot of problems to work through and now I understand that I can only do this my staying sober, one day at a time. I feel so stupid that I let thing get so bad but I should be grateful that I wont let things get any worse and I will build a better life alcohol free. Thanks for the support guys
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 24
Just in the door after a sober night out, I was myself and felt comfortable, home before midnight because I wanted to be, not for anybody else.. Very sad to not have my girlfriend in my life anymore, big chunk of my life missing and I was greeted by the grunt of my unsupportive father at the door.. I know that I have hurt these people through my drinking but I wish they could see how much I want to change
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Eire!
I went through the same thing with family & friends. Try to concentrate on your own healing for now. People usually come around when they see you are different and can be trusted again. You know you can do this and build your life back up the way you want it. Don't focus on the negative things right now - give yourself a break.
Glad you found us - this place worked miracles for me and kept me on track.
I went through the same thing with family & friends. Try to concentrate on your own healing for now. People usually come around when they see you are different and can be trusted again. You know you can do this and build your life back up the way you want it. Don't focus on the negative things right now - give yourself a break.
Glad you found us - this place worked miracles for me and kept me on track.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 130
I feel the same way Eire... I am a binge drinker as well. You're not alone. Today is day one for me, I'm hoping the pain and shame pass as time moves forward.... But it wont unless we stick to our guns. Just remember that everyone who is in AA is there because they have the same problem so they will not judge you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 24
Things improved for me rapidly after going off the drink, my relationships with family and some friends has improved and AA has given me great support.. I am very depressed however, things aren't moving forward with my girlfriend and I miss her very much.. I'm nearly a month without a drink and she doesn't seem any closer to coming back.. I feel lost and empty, change isn't happening as quickly as I'd like and I'm doubting if things will every come right for me.. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Southeast USA
Posts: 175
Everyone has some problem that they must deal with. You're going to a place where people will understand and not judge. Speaking it out loud is the best way that I know to begin to heal your life.
Originally Posted by Eire88 
I have been going on drinking binges on and off for the last five years and finally enough is enough. I have lost my girlfriend of three years but hopefully if I change she may take me back. I have alienated my family and let everyone down. I hope that this is day one of the rest of my life, sober and content. I'm going to my first aa meeting tonight and I'm so scared of admitting I have a problem.
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