ScaredSon

Hello everyone, this is the first forum I have ever been a part of so forgive me if I make any mistakes. Ok, so I need some advice on what to do about my alcoholic mother. First a little bit of backstory. I live with both my parents and my two younger brothers. My parents are two people who should have never gotten married. My father has borderline personality disorder, which basicaly means he is borderline psychotic, and he has abused my mother mentally and emotionaly since they were married. My mom had a god awful childhood, she was poor, had an absent father and had to drop out of school in 8th grade to take care of her mom who was always sick. She was also raped when she was very young and on top of all that she is dyslexic. She started drinking when I was around 9 or 10 and has never really stopped(I am 24 now). Her and my dad used to take pills and drink on top of them, but my dad sobered up after he had his second stroke in 2011. My mom has been sober off and on over the years but she always ends up drinking again and its usually during a time of stress over money or when my dad goes off on one of his psychotic tirades. However, my dad had been doing better these last couple of weeks and today my mom went and got her a small bottle of vodka. Now my dad is pissed and said he I done with her and he said, "I'm gonna fire her ass up", whatever that means. He is also talking about getting a new place to live and has invited me to come with him. I really don't want to because I know how he can be and I think he is a big reason why my mom drinks. A couple more things about my mom: she claims she has fibromyalgia, which may be another reason why she drinks, and she has never been an everyday drinker. I think my dad is overreacting (which he often does) because she had been doing really good for some months. That being said, I am always afraid of my mom drinking and of my dad going nuclear about it. I have lived with terror my whole life, weather it be my mom drinking or my dad starting fights with her and abusing her. I just don't know what to do. I don't have a job right now and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I just can't take it anymore.

LadyBlue0527

ScaredSon, I am so glad that you came here. There's lots of support here. There's another forum for friends and family of alcoholics with many people who can help you and are dealing with the same issues. Here's the direct link for you

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Also can be found buy just scrolling down on the main page.

You should be able to copy what you just typed and then start a new thread there and paste it in.

Good luck to you and I hope that everything works out!

dayover

Though I do not know how to advise you I just want to say:

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I can only imagine how much pain this is causing you.

I do not know if you have considered this but it may be a good idea for you to research and attend an Al-Anon meeting near you. There are meetings for those effected by someones drinking, like you have been.

Good luck, stay strong.

Impurrfect

ScaredSon - Welcome to SR!! Wow, you've got a lot on your plate to deal with!!

When I first came here (to be honest, I lurked for a couple of years before signing on) I read...and read...and read. Different forums, most of which I seemed to fit into (except the men's forum).

We have forums for adult children of alcoholics/addicts (ACOA), as well as Friends & Family forums for both alcoholics and addicts.

I promise you...if you read through these forums, you will find you are not alone. There is also a mental health forum, which I think has posts on BPD (borderline personality disorder).

I have two dear friends who are both BPD and RA's (recovering addicts). I'm a recovering addict as well as a recovering codependent who has loved ones who are still using/drinking.

Whatever has come up in my life, so far, I've found kindred friends here on SR.

I hope you keep reading and posting. BTW, responses may be slow, at this time of the night, but they will come.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

soberhawk

I do not have any good advice there.

Quite a situation, you are trying to hold together there.

How old are you brothers?

ScaredSon

They are 20 and 17

soberhawk

It is dreadfully unfair that kids have to struggle with such problems, even though you are not a kid anymore – you have been living in this environment for years. Alcoholics are not to much help, they can be nice people and all that. We are just to unreliable to be trusted.

Sometimes in families where the parents are not able to cope, one of the kids takes the responsibility trying to hold things together – which is not fair and in reality also impossible. Having two younger brothers, makes it even more complicated.

I do not know what to advice but you should not be solving your parents problems.

I do not know what options you have – but you should be focusing on how to get on with your own life.

Are you three brothers able to support each others or are you reacting differently to this?

I hope you will find some openings to move on from this situation.