thenotoriousdud

So she has been calling lately, alot. Wanting to spend time time with me & Tyrone(our nephew). Has no interest in using crack(it would seem). She wanted me to take her to my clinic this morning so I agreed to let her spend the night at my house(I know its only been 17 days but I can't say "home" it hurts too much)and go in the morning. This is my appeal to my higher power and to all my friends in recovery to send me the prayers and the energy to be able to let go and let god today. She was beside me in my bed last night and it was nice to reach out, half asleep and have her there. I have to stay strong and keep reminding myself that this was "just a moment" and in all likelihood she will be back to being the Monster by the time I take my 1st break at work today. Keep me in your prayers today folks.

Ann

We each have to make our own choices, good or bad, and you made yours...but today is a new day, maybe just let it unfold as it may. If she goes back, then it's a lesson well learned. If she does not, that's one day clean for her and maybe a good start.

Recovery is not a perfect program for living a perfect life, it's a guideline to help us through good days and bad...and help us figure out why we make the choices we make.

Hugs

thenotoriousdud

It's so hard to fight the fantasy sometimes. Every bone in my body wants life to go back to the way it was. I want to be there for my AW and I promised the kids that I would help her if she wanted it. I have to keep reminding myself that I am a reovering addict myself and that I can't work 2 programs at once. My work schedule makes it so difficult to find meetings to go to but, my work has set me up with a counselor to help me through this breakup. Well, onward and upward so they say!!! Make today great everyone

Kindeyes

You are very wise to realize that. So many feel that they need to work two programs at once OR they want to work one program......but it isn't their own.

You, your family and your dear wife will be in my prayers. Recovery often begins with several failed attempts before there is some measure of success. May today be a step in the direction of recovery.

gentle hugs
ke

zoso77

Remember, dude...denial can get you in a lot of trouble.

ZoSo

AnvilheadII

i sure hope you have all the valuables and hockables locked up. check books, credit cards, credit card statements, bank statements, jewelry, spare keys.....do you plan to leave her there unattended?? let's not forget that what 2? 3? days ago a bag of crack fell OUT of her pocket??? I don't think she forgot it like a used tissue.

good luck.

thenotoriousdud

No she left when i did. Haven't heard from her tonight yet, as I thought as soon as i wasn't available to hold her hand she went right back out. Why doesn't love have an on/off switch. lol. Thanks for the kind words and support as I navigate this thing guys.