ames

hi SR,
im new to the site but have been dealing w/ an alcoholic mother for 17 yrs. she has been diagnosed w/ hep c, she has low platelets, cirrhosis and anemia. she has been hospitalized twice now due to her drinking and has 2 DUI's.

after her last hospital stay (about a week) she was sober for 3 wks. the day before she goes back to work and she drinks. it has been 2 days now of her drinking again and of course lying to me and her boyfriend (who is the sweetest guy in the world). my dad passed away last year from liver disease which led to cancer. i feel like im in the same situation again.

my daughter adores my mom and growing up i was always a mommy's girl. the last 3 wks i felt like i had my mom back and now she's gone again. ive read some of the other posts saying theres nothing i can do but thats so hard for me. im so angry and scared and frustrated. i havent spoken to her today because i cant stand the lying. thanks for listening. my boyfriend (although a great guy) is not very supportive since his parents are saints. i feel so alone.

Dee74

I'm so sorry Ames.

I know you'll find a lot of support here tho - both in this forum and in our Family and Friends forum as well.

Have you considered something like AlAnon for face to face support?

D

Spinach

Try get your bf to read stuff on here.
She tried its hard , she's ill and tired . I bet she would love to give up it took most of us years of hoping and failing its just not that easy to get a grip on .even if unwell.
All the best I hope the best for you.
It's so hard coping sometimes, How did you stay away from the demon drink.
Your doing a great job.
John.

martina12

I know just how you feel Ames. I'm new on here too and joined when I read other posts that sounded just like what I am going through.
My husband who I love so very much has left me to return to his alcoholic ex girlfriend and I feel, like you angry and frustrated that I can't do anything to sort this out. I have supported him through rehab, done everything that I could possibly think of to save our marriage but none of it worked.
I am left feeling absolutely grief stricken. The advice I have received from this site has made me feel better and I'm trying to act on it. Like focus on yourself and think what you can do to heal yourself and get yourself stronger. This is so hard to do when we are in the middle of a crisis.
Try not to think too far ahead, just take it hour by hour if need be. I have cried and cried and cried, then thought right I haven't got any tears left what can I do today that might make me feel just a tiny bit better. Today I'm going to buy some paint, whether I will actually paint my bedroom I don't know, maybe that will tomorrow's little job to make me feel better.
Hope that you can find the strength to focus on yourself and start your own journey of recovery Ames.

sobrietyftw

As an alcoholic mother to a 10 month old, with a sponsor witha 10 yr old.... WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are struggling, but we love our babies. and It hurts that our love for our babies cannot be enough to fix us. I want to run away, but I'd rather try to better myself for him. I'm weak. I have to keep trying. Please understand. Nothing about a mother's struggle diminishes our love for our babies.

tootsl1

Ames, I feel for you sweetheart. No one knows what is going through your mums head, but I expect she is terrified about her illness, both the alcoholism and the Hep C. Maybe she is drinking to avoid thinking. Without knowing what you have talked to her about, and how deep into her feelings you have gone, I would be second guessing. For now, best bet is as Dee advised and get support for yourself. You are in my heart

visch1

Welcome and I know presently what your going through and it's far from easy. Good advice above. Unfortunately we don't have the power to get anyone sober or drunk, it's a job for the individual to want to. It's strange that in the year of 2013 medical science has no permanent answer for long term sobriety, except bottom line --keep our mouths shut to alcohol. Again Al Anon has helped so many people with someone with an alcohol problem.
BE WELL

ames

thank you Visch1,
i appreciate the response. i will look into Al Anon

ames

thank you Tootsl1,
after 17 yrs we have talked about everything and i have approached it from every angle. i have begged, withheld my company and my child from her, yelled, cried, supported, you name it. i think its hard for me to just accept that i have no way to save her.

ames

thank you sobrietyftw,
i know she loves me but i am guilty of wondering why her love for me is not enough to stop. thank you for reminding me that it isnt because she doesnt love me. i do need to hear that. i love her so much.

ames

thank you Martina12,
i am so sorry for your struggle. thank you for making me feel not so alone. i am trying to meditate and focus on my daughter. i texted my mom to tell her i love her. i guess thats all i can do at this point. youre in m thoughts.

ames

thank you Spinach,
i will try to be patient w/ her. i know its a disease. i have never been an alcoholic. i dont care for it at all. in fact - i hate it.

ames

thank you Dee74,
i will look at that forum too. i really appreciate all the kindness and advice i have been given her.

Anna

Ames, I am sending healing thoughts to you. I hope you can find some peace with this sad situation.