Starlight23

Couldn't bring myself to go to work this morning, I feel physically sick from stress and anxiety of my partners addiction and the problems I am facing right now.

I have always been stressed and anxious to a certain point which I have found just about manageable but now for the past 6 months I feel physically ill because of it.

Does anyone suffer from anxiety and stress severe enough that they have had to get help from a Doctor?

Wavy

I am sorry you are struggling so much with your partners addiction. I have been where you are, so mentally crippled by the effects ABF's drinking that I couldn't do anything. I probably should have, but I never went to the Dr about it, but I am getting counselling, going to AlAnon, practising mindful meditation, posting here and doing a lot of reading. Its all helping, along with some herbal medicine for depression. If you are feeling so anxious and stressed that you can't go to work, absolutely go and talk to your Dr about it, they will be able to got through various options with you that might help and even sign you off work for a few days if that's want you want, to give you some space to sort your head out.

Bear in mind that if you gets meds from the Dr they can help the symptoms, but until you address the source of your anxiety and stress things can never really get all the way better. How you address that is completely up to you and you can do it in tiny tiny steps, whatever you are comfortable with and can manage. Maybe take the time off work today to so something good to yourself, just for yourself, such as take a relaxing bath or give yourself a manicure. You deserve to take care of you. Unfortunately stressing doesn't change anything - if it did I'd have a perfect life, because I'm an expert stresser! ((((hugs))) I know this is so hard and seems hopeless right now, but things can and will be better. We are all here rooting for you.

MrsDarcy

Star, I think Wavy's advice is excellent and this is probably going to sound a little odd but maybe also try not being so anxious about the anxiety? I've been feeling more anxious than usual lately too and it helped me somewhat to think about how my anxiety is coming from my feelings trying to get my attention (I'm an expert emotion-suppressor but I'm trying not to do that as much anymore. Our emotions are valuable guides, even the unpleasant ones). So when I'm feeling stressed I take a moment to really think about what I'm feeling in that moment and then think about what I'm already doing/can do/or what plans I have in the works to move forward and it helps me calm down. I hope that makes sense. I also frequently remind myself that much of this is not in my hands and that's been surprisingly liberating.

MsPINKAcres

((Starlight))

I hate so much that you are feeling so badly ~ the stress & strain of living with active addiction/alcoholism is very difficult to manage

Most of us find that we are unable to cope with it - without our mental & physical health suffering severe damages.

For me, I finally came to a point where not only did I seek medical help, but I also sought help thru Al-Anon meetings and support here on SR.

I had to find another way to cope - what I had been doing for so many years wasn't working -

Since the people in my life were not staying in recovery - I had to make the decision to focus on my own codie recovery and start taking care of me

It truly saved my life.

Wishing you the best & hope you feel better soon.

Keep coming back - don't give up before the miracles happen in you - you deserve them!

pink hugs!

Recovering2

I never went to a Dr, but I was plenty sick with anxiety and stress. I lost weight, had no appetite, headaches, horrible fatigue, missed work. That's what they mean when it's said that alcoholism is a "contagious" disease. Those of us closest to the A get as sick as they are if we don't get help. I knew what the source of my symptoms was, so I chose to find a counselor with a background in addiction and I found AlAnon. It took a year of counseling, and AlAnon for the past 8 months, for me to get "well" again.

You now have the day off. Be gentle with yourself, and do something just for you. Hot bath, maybe a movie, go to a bookstore and sit looking through different books, get a pedicure, find an AlAnon meeting.

brightstar43

I had to go to my Doctors because of the stress I was under. Financial problems, stressful job, single parent; throw an alcoholic boyfriend in to the mix too! I've been on anti depressants for almost 2 weeks and notice a difference, I was reluctant to take them but eventually felt down and lw that I said to the doctor that I think I needed to start them. Being in a close relationship with my ex left me physically ill, exhausted and stressed out of my head. I have been off work or 6 weeks now to try and get myself sorted. I'm waiting on CBT and have started exercising again. Next step is to start mindfullness. Start off with baby steps just one little thing at a time and practice being good to yourself. There's also an excellent book by Claire Weekes called self help for your nerves, it's a bit dated but the best sef help bookie read on the subject. It's frightening how another's drinking can cause us to become so sick. I also go to al anon and read lots.

Florence

Yes. Therapy and medication and a full night of sleep every night and strenuous exercise on a regular basis 3-5 times a week, no excuses.

Until I got serious about this, I struggled with everything in my life. Now that it's a part of my life, life is easier, lighter, freer, and better.

Argnotthisagain

Yes. I have longtime FOO issues too and the A re-ship really brought it all to the fore again.

I ended up in the hospital with panic attacks, a variety of stress related illnesses, etc etc.

I've needed anti-depressants for years, on and off. The more recent fiasco brought out a motherlode of anxiety that was so buried, I hadn't realized it was so big. Cymbalta was helpful for that----but then it intensified menopausal hot flashes and I quit it.

Now, Prozac--helpful for obsessive thinking, and Xanax, helpful for anxiety--trembling, heart pounding, etc.-- seem to be doing the trick. Plus dedicated work at recovery and recovering your own inner strength and worth.

Anyway, yes, anxiety is no joke and you are definitely right to address it. Get with caring friends as much as possible too...develop friends in AlAnon... we really need positive regard from friends!

Hugs--feel better!!!

lillamy

Big hugs to you.
Yes. I got physically sick from the stress of dealing with AXH's addition. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue -- basically that means your body is so exhausted from being stressed that your adrenals just go on strike. I slept 13 hours and was still exhausted, felt like a zombie, could barely function. Treatment? Reduce the stress in your life. Um yeah. I'll get right on that.

I did continue dragging my tired rear to work every day though. You know why? Because it was a break in dealing with AXH. At work, I could pretend my life was normal. I could do something I was good at and feel good about myself even when I felt like utter crap about myself the rest of the time. So work was actually a lifesaver for me. It was my safe place when everything was crumbling.

For me, getting physically ill was also the first Really. Stinking. Loud. Wakeup. Call. I could tell myself I was emotionally strong and could handle it -- but when my body told me differently, that's when I knew I had to get out.

blake1989

I echo Florence's thoughts about exercise. I had to chime in here because long before I ever had my current relationship with an alcoholic, or knew much about alcoholism, I had a much longer-term relationship with anxiety. It finally became debilitating and had me missing work at my new job a few times. After much urging from a new therapist who said 'you are visibly in pain', I got on Zoloft. It helped a lot with my physical sensations, which were the worst part. They gave me klonopin too. I went to cognitive behavioral therapy 2x a week in conjunction and got serious about exercising 4+ times a week.

I find that especially right now, exercise is so helpful. And I, too, find my job to be a haven right now. I guess that's telling..

I guess my message is don't be afraid to get medical help. My family looked down on people who were prescribed psychiatric meds, and I delayed and delayed seeking them for that reason. I shouldn't have. I'm off the zoloft now btw.

bobbysocks

YES! I absolutely do suffer from severe depression and terrible anxiety. I have my whole life) and am on meds for it. And, just like you, I could manage pretty well. Most of mine (the drs said) was partly from a chemical imbalance and the abuse as a child and a young adult).However, being around anyone-not just my husband- that is drunk or drinking- whether they are an alcoholic or not- sends me over the edge. My nerves just absolutely can not handle it. I have had to go to my dr and counselors (when I had a counselor) many times JUST BECAUSE of this. Otherwise, I'd have been able to manage as I was doing. PLEASE go get yourself some help if you feel like you need it. DONOT be ashamed or anything else. Any kind of stress/nerve problems can and will make you physically ill. I know- Ive been in your shoes. I used to weigh 120 lbs and had a decent appetite. I never was a big eater, but I ate. Now I weigh 98lbs and in the past 3 days, all Ive eaten is 1/2 slice of pizza and a little ice ream. I didnt want that- I just ate it because I knew I needed something in my body for nourishment.My stomach has shrunk terribly. Im to the point now I can not force food down no matter how I try. Dont allow yourself to get in this shape.

Flicka57

Starlight23:
Everyone's suggestions so far are great & I don't just want to post the same thing to you but here is what I am still doing as I have divorced but still getting symptoms like you.

I told my employer some of what I was going through when it started over a year ago, so they would know the reason for extra time I might need off and maybe having to leave early if things got too bad. By giving them the "heads up" they were more understanding & lenient and I did not feel guilty if the day was just too tough and I had to leave or call out sick. Just limit what you tell them as they don't need the whole story but you may find your employer & co-workers to be your biggest advocates when they know what you're going through & help you through the day--I had one co-worker that even when she was not in that day, she would check on me with a phone call--nice to have someone on our side every day to help relieve some stress.

Quish16

Take care Starlight. I have been mega stressed and considered anti depressants/sleeping pills but have so far managed without. I read a lot which helps as does this group. The problem will pills is they don't address what is causing the problem! But they could be a temporary option? They really seem to help some people get through and I don't think you should feel bad if you do go down this route.
I found seeing a counsellor helpful. My weight went down to 6st 10 - managed to get it back to 7st and hopefully will gain some more back. I am trying to 'detach with love' but it is very very hard.

firebolt

Yep - had my first anxiety attack last year - thought I was having a heart attack - the big one at 36! Nope turns out it was 'just' an anxiety attack - I was floored, and refused to go on meds.

I amped up my yoga - and REALLY focused on the meditation at the end of it. I also read codependent no more, and the Language of letting go - a daily inspirational book, and I used it as a meditation guide. Look into deep breathing and relaxation techniques - THEY HELP! Exercise, spending time with pets, and meditation - those are proven aids to reduce the anxiety chemicals in our brain caused from this stress.

Hang in there! My deepest sympathy to anyone in this hell. (((HUGS)))

Starlight23

Thanks everyone

Im glad im not the only one who feels this **** and that there can be something done about it.

I have made a Doctors appointment for tomorrow and will see what she suggests.

I guess I maybe feel too proud to admit that im struggling but it's at a point where it's affecting me v seriously that I feel like i'm going to breakdown.

I abso hate the thought of taking meds but I need to try something. Even if it's just temporary as already sugessted. Just need to not feel like this!

I have tried exercise and it helps to a certain extent but theres only so much things you can do when u have a family to look after. I don't really like the thought of counselling tbh who knows maybe one day it might be good for me tho!

Carol Star

Celestial Seasonings makes a good herbal tea for relaxing.....Sleepytime Extra.