jennym

Hi. This is my first post but I have been reading the site for about 3 months. You all give fabulous advice and I always get what I am looking for. I seem to have the same story as everyone else on here but would to tell mine.
I knew him in HS and we dated. I got pregnant and thought it was his for awhile but then found out it wasnt but he stood by me. Fast forward 17 years and we meet again in March. He swept me off my feet in 3 weeks. Then came the hit. He was in a halfway house. He only told me becasue we planned to meet but he got sent back to detox- should of been my first clue but I didnt know anything then. So, I accept it figuring his problem was over. HAHA He basically lied for the next few months still sweeping me off my feet and I believed him. He was using the whole time. I had even let him move in for awhile until he disappaered. Thats when I found this website and read every post I could. In short, I am codependent and you all reminded me of that. I also learned to not enable him. I threw him out but he still had that hold over me. I thought for the last 6 weeks since I threw him out he was clean until I let him visit and saw he wasnt. I hate this and I know better but I still feel bad. Currently at this moment he is sleeping in his car with no money trying to get into a rehab. He asked me to send him money I said no. He asked for a hotel I said no. Im standing my ground as I have tried to for the last 5 months but it is so hard. I had to get all that off my chest so thank you if you continued reading. My question is how do I just cut him off completely becasue I know thats what I need to do without feeling completely awful about it. I know I dont want to live this live with a heroin addict recovered or not. I pray to god everyday to just let this go. Thanks for listening.

theotherhalf

get on your cellphone providers website and block his phone number...go on facebook and block his account...basicially block every possible means for him to contact you and maybe try to go to a CODA and nar-anon meeting in your area...even if you dont get anything out of it it still kills a few hours of your days where you would be thinking of him...its what he wants is for you to feel guilty but its not your problem..he made his bed and as it seems has had many chances to get clean...embrace the sadness and know it will pass...be very thankful you got off this roller coaster ride before it got much much worse...just my thoughts...