Notices

I had a slip and you know what?

Old 08-04-2013, 07:00 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Thread Starter
 
Lightning Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
I had a slip and you know what?

My husband took the opportunity to tell me exactly what is wrong with me.
I am not a bad person. I care. I have love. Really - he told me that i didn't clean enough that the sugar ants will come in. I suck.
Lightning Bug is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:03 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
I don't think you suck Laura....but p[eople took the opportunity to tell me what they thought many times too.

Really what they were saying was 'you're better than what you're allowing yourself here', I think?

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:04 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Thread Starter
 
Lightning Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
He is drunk. Sigh.
Lightning Bug is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:10 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: ROI
Posts: 13
Take yourself away from it. Go for a walk, go to a meeting. Remind yourself of the stories you've read on here and glean inspiration. We are all in the same boat. You do not suck!
Hamilton87 is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:11 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
What does this mean?
Mizzuno is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:15 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Thread Starter
 
Lightning Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
It means that the only time he feels comfy enough to tell me that I suck is when I slip and am intoxicated. That is bad. Has anyone ever been through this?
Lightning Bug is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:17 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
lillyknitting
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by earthsteps View Post
My husband took the opportunity to tell me exactly what is wrong with me.
I am not a bad person. I care. I have love. Really - he told me that i didn't clean enough that the sugar ants will come in. I suck.
Please clarify!?
lillyknitting is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:20 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Thread Starter
 
Lightning Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Clarification.
I am in a state in which I am receptive to anything. Husband took the opportunity to unleash.
Lightning Bug is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:21 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
lillyknitting
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by earthsteps View Post
It means that the only time he feels comfy enough to tell me that I suck is when I slip and am intoxicated. That is bad. Has anyone ever been through this?
My husband is a controller. It's very hard to live with. I could write a book, but, eventually, you have to live your life for you. It's very, very hard, one day I will have the strength to end it, but for now I think a lot of relationships are habit.
lillyknitting is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:21 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
Just dismiss it as "drunk talk." My boyfriend talks the same way when drinking. When he's not drinking, he would NEVER badmouth me.
Eleni58 is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:26 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Tomorrow is a new day. Start again. Come back to 24 club earthsteps, we want to support you as well.
deeker is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:28 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Thread Starter
 
Lightning Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I don't think you suck Laura....but p[eople took the opportunity to tell me what they thought many times too.

Really what they were saying was 'you're better than what you're allowing yourself here', I think?

D
Thank you Dee.
Lightning Bug is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:30 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Did he say that you suck, or did he say that the ants are coming in because the cleaning job was not thorough enough?
Mizzuno is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:35 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Thread Starter
 
Lightning Bug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Originally Posted by Mizzuno View Post
Did he say that you suck, or did he say that the ants are coming in because the cleaning job was not thorough enough?
Both.
I am a stay at home mom. He makes the money, he shouldn't have to deal with ants.
Lightning Bug is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:42 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Keeping it simple!
 
LadyinBC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by earthsteps View Post
Both.
I am a stay at home mom. He makes the money, he shouldn't have to deal with ants.
The cleanest houses have ants, spiders, and even mice.
LadyinBC is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:42 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Grateful Heart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central California
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by earthsteps View Post
My husband took the opportunity to tell me exactly what is wrong with me.
I am not a bad person. I care. I have love. Really - he told me that i didn't clean enough that the sugar ants will come in. I suck.
You don't suck. You are a wonderful person.
Grateful Heart is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:44 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by earthsteps View Post
Both.
I am a stay at home mom. He makes the money, he shouldn't have to deal with ants.
And, your job is equally important. Full time parenting is for warriors in my opinion. I am not sure how you all do it.
If he is drinking do not engage in his conversation. Keep it level and please try to remain neutral. Tomorrow will be a different day, and he may apologize for his words.
Ants will make their way into the home regardless of cleaning and what not. I have ants in my bathroom right now. They have found their way to the body wash. It is that time of year.

(((HUG)) to you.
Mizzuno is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:46 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Notmyrealname's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Often ants are actually coming in for the water, they can last for a long time without food but ants need water everyday.
Notmyrealname is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:54 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 807
Earthsteps, are you saying you are drinking now so you are both intoxicated?
LuLu13 is offline  
Old 08-04-2013, 07:58 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
bexxed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
There are some things you can change, some you can't.

You can't change that ants came in, but you can make them leave. Well, your husband can. By paying a bug guy.

I used to live in FL. (Still have a place there I go to with some frequency and hopefully will live there again someday.) Gulf Coast. It's the buggiest place in the US. You know who I loved? The bug exterminator guys. It doesn't matter how clean you are, you live in a tropical swamp. I am a clean person for the most part and when I lived in FL I had to call bug guys to come a few times a year. Everyone does.

I'm not sure if this preceded the slip- if it did, it's no reason to drink, if it didn't, it's no reason to keep drinking.

Even if you didn't clean up after the kids' cookie project last week and the ants came in, it's no reason for domestic strife. It's ants. In Florida. In summer.

Hugs.
bexxed is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:54 AM.