Raising grandchildren
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Tampa, Fl.
Posts: 5
Raising grandchildren
We are 70 and have custody of our granddaughters 10-11. Their mom has relapsed after second rehab stay. The girls are devastated, untrusting of her, don't want to even go home after too many times of giving her another chance. We are struggling with the whole situation even after three years of dealing with the lies, deceit, bad behavior, etc. it's so hard to believe this bright, so together once, pretty woman could have become what she is today. I don't know what to tell the girls except that she has a disease, we love them so much as we do her, will be there for them, and keep them safe. One is starting junior high and I'm freaking out! So much out there and I want to keep her safe. 
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
I just want to tell you that I would have had little chance in life without my beloved grandmother. All that is good in me, I give credit to her. It wasn't easy for her, either. She sacrificed sooo much for me. That is love. There is not a day (she is long passed) that I don't feel her presence walking beside me.
To me, a loving grandmother is an Angel on Earth. God bless the grandparents.
dandylion
**same can be said for grandfathers, also--I didn't have one.
To me, a loving grandmother is an Angel on Earth. God bless the grandparents.
dandylion
**same can be said for grandfathers, also--I didn't have one.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
ALATEEN!
Did I sort of over-state that?
If not me try again.
ALATEEN!
Seriously. Alateen for them, Alanon for you.
Alateen has been GREAT for our daughter -- now 11.
She is even chairing the meetings some days.
The folks that run the local Alateen will be some long-timer Alanon(s), and have been to specific classes on how to work with and help the kids. Get the help that is available to you.
Also School is near starting again? Schedule an appointment with the School Therapist. They are specifically trained to help in stuff like this, but only do so when they know there is a need. In our case -- by the end, the teachers all swooped in to help, and even the Librarian. Even the Librarian. She was great. God Bless the Teachers. Complete pack of Angels.
This is no time for pride. When the lead teacher saw the tears running down my cheeks from under my sunglasses, she got this "Oh You Poor [dumb] Man" look and pretty much took over. So no pride for you, either. Ask for the help and get it.
Be very open and honest that you need help.
One other thing, but does not sound like it applies to you. The one person I expected to help most was Mrs. Hammer's mom -- Granna as were. Instead, she went totally Co-De on "our little addict" (Mrs. Hammer) on return from rehab. Pretty much threw our daughter (grand-daughter as it were) under the bus.
TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS, FIRST. Addicts and Alkies manage on their own.
Did I sort of over-state that?
If not me try again.
ALATEEN!
Seriously. Alateen for them, Alanon for you.
Alateen has been GREAT for our daughter -- now 11.
She is even chairing the meetings some days.
The folks that run the local Alateen will be some long-timer Alanon(s), and have been to specific classes on how to work with and help the kids. Get the help that is available to you.
Also School is near starting again? Schedule an appointment with the School Therapist. They are specifically trained to help in stuff like this, but only do so when they know there is a need. In our case -- by the end, the teachers all swooped in to help, and even the Librarian. Even the Librarian. She was great. God Bless the Teachers. Complete pack of Angels.
This is no time for pride. When the lead teacher saw the tears running down my cheeks from under my sunglasses, she got this "Oh You Poor [dumb] Man" look and pretty much took over. So no pride for you, either. Ask for the help and get it.
Be very open and honest that you need help.
One other thing, but does not sound like it applies to you. The one person I expected to help most was Mrs. Hammer's mom -- Granna as were. Instead, she went totally Co-De on "our little addict" (Mrs. Hammer) on return from rehab. Pretty much threw our daughter (grand-daughter as it were) under the bus.
TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS, FIRST. Addicts and Alkies manage on their own.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Tampa, Fl.
Posts: 5
Wow! Great help!
Wow you guys!!!! Thanks so much for the help. I had no idea there would be such an outpouring of help. It's great to know about
Al-Ateen. I thought maybe 10-11 would be too young. I will get on that right away. I was very close to my grandparents and always wanted to be sure we would have a relationship with our grandchildren, God willing, just didn't know how close it would turn out to be. Their father passed away when they were 3-4. So many issues involved...we are just taking each day as it comes.
I'm sure hearing from recovering alcoholic moms or women about how this disease affects the whole family will be really helpful. Thanks again!
Al-Ateen. I thought maybe 10-11 would be too young. I will get on that right away. I was very close to my grandparents and always wanted to be sure we would have a relationship with our grandchildren, God willing, just didn't know how close it would turn out to be. Their father passed away when they were 3-4. So many issues involved...we are just taking each day as it comes.
I'm sure hearing from recovering alcoholic moms or women about how this disease affects the whole family will be really helpful. Thanks again!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
