w2r

age 60, very successful, professional.
wife and myself split 3 bottles of wine nightly, maximum.
The result is fighting hard the 1st half of the next day to work efficiently.
My wife is from a drinking family, I'm not. But It is nice to sip into tranquility every night.
I recognise that this has slowly directed us into more and more isolation. I've been wanting to quit for a long time. My wife says "Get me another glass".
I cant see this ending well. A problem is that I can afford great wine.
I cut back, every once in a while, I sleep well and feel "really good" the next day. But at the end of a stressful day, a glass of wine in my hand puts me back into that search for tranquility again.
How to start??

Dee74

Hi w2r

I guess the question is it a real tranquility anyway?
I used to say drink relaxed me, but really it obliterated me and I passed out.

there's better healthier ways to get that sense of peace and contentment, or relaxation

as far as your wife goes - yes it's tough to have a partner in crime egging you on - but it's not impossible to go solo either

I know you'll find a lot of support here if you want to make a change

D

Lindafisk

Hi w2r, I'm new here too......my hubby and I used to drink together and I was worried when I wanted to quit.
If your wife is from a drinking family then maybe it has crossed her mind that there's a problem and she just hasn't said anything? I'm from a drinking family too. Maybe she is scared or worried about the situation too? A honest talk would be a good place to start but I know that will be hard. Best of luck to you!

mecanix

This is how it was for me as well ,

Good luck w2r

Bestwishes, m

hypochondriac

I always thought that because I could afford it I should, but really that was just a throwback to the days when I had no money and whenever I did I spent it on booze. There are other things that are expensive and pleasurable

The place to start is to not buy any wine and try to search for real tranquility. I only found that in sobriety. But there will be a few bumps to get over first. Maybe you could negotiate taking a month off with your wife to help you get over the first few difficult weeks x

Welcome to SR

FeelingGreat

Welcome W2r. You're where I was before I quit. A relaxing glass of wine built up to a habit that I didn't want, and was threatening my mental and physical health. A bottle and a half per night is way above recommended levels and will cause you harm, possibly in a most unpleasant way.
I loved drinking wine, quite apart from intoxication part of it, but I gave up completely. Now although I have the choice every day as to whether I drink, I choose not to because I don't want to go back to the place I was in.
Talk to your doctor, do some research, and build yourself up to the point where you are ready to stop.

jazzfish

In the end, the only thing I enjoyed about drinking was the sweet, sweet release of that first drink. After that, I didn't enjoy the taste much, I hated being drunk, but I kept on. I really had to recognize the link between the problems and misery in my life and my drinking. I would go the day on and day off route for many years. It was only when I realized that I could not control or forgo the alcohol to a degree that I could avoid the negative consequences, that I accepted I had to quit to attain the life I wanted.

For me, I firmly set in mind that the first 3-4 days were going to really be awful, but I set my goal firmly in mind. Getting the initial traction in sobriety is the hardest part in my opinion. I started signing on the the 24 hour club thread here, and that little bit of accountability is helping me make it to the next day sober.

Louise82

Welcome, w2r. I started by not getting myself another drink because that's all I could manage to do by that stage -- tell myself "first thing's first" and not drink for the rest of that day. I now have 28 days of not drinking one day at a time, during which time I've worked out a plan for not only staying stopped but for bringing about the change I want to see in myself and in my life. Just by reading these forums, you'll find lots of information on the different ways people get and stay sober.

visch1

Welcome W2r. A sizeable need to be/get sober is honesty with our self. Next is the drive to get/stay sober and avoid the pain our drinking causes. There is LOT of good help here on SR. When I got to the point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired the only show in town was AA which has kept me sober for a lot of years by continued attendance of meetings. After the initial withdrawal from the alcohol it was pointed out, by people with good sobriety, that if the reasons I drank were not attended to I would drink again. And yes I enjoyed the flavor when I began drinking. Actually it was like a friend for a considerable time until it turned on me to be our worst enemy that wanted attention too often. It turned out to be a valuable resource for me discovering these reasons and being aware in general of them. For many it's scary so they reject AA for not working. I say they are not working what has worked for millions worldwide. Then others have issues with letting go of their behaviors of the past. The issue I needed to address is FEELINGS which in my sick alcohol controlling mind was female issues and avoided. I'll duck now. BE WELL

GroundhogDay

Do you know what got you started? Do you feel you don't deserve success? Do you hate what you are doing at work or feel that too much at work is out of your control? Or is drinking wine just a habit that got out of control?

I ask because it will affect how much help you need. If it is just a habit that got out of control it will be easier to deal with. If there is an underlying cause, you need to make changes to your life that could disrupt your financial future and/or your marriage.

In my case, I had to quit my job. My husband is fully supportive of my decision even though we took a 50 percent hit to our income. So far, so good, but I still worry about the long-term financial implications.

w2r

I'm on holidays now. wife and I: 3 to 4 bottles of wine nightly. But today I spent a lot of time reading this site. After 18 holes I had 1 beer over an hour, and at dinner and after probably about a half bottle of wine. Off to bed after this post.
After what I read today, the wine really has lost its appeal!!
My plan is to taper over 4 days, then see if I can go for it!
I cant argue or suggest anything to my wife. My hope is that I will work at this and will try to win by example? She very much notices what I consume.
Hopefully if she brings up a conversation, I will recommend she starts reading some of the posts here.