Children high in mountains, address unknown
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
Children high in mountains, address unknown
I was at the beach at 4pm when I received a call from my 16 year old. He is coming home. He is injured, his father isn't caring for him, and he's had enough.
Turns out, AH checked out of the chalet today and moved the kids to a mountain refuge an additional one hour drive further into the mountains on a narrow, windy road. I have no address.
Now I have one boy glad to have gotten away. He is injured and he came home on his own unfed and unattended to.
This court-ordered unsupervised visit isn't going too well. AH wants the kids to have a full-on rock climbing, mountain experience. He has a 6, 10 and 13 year old still with him. They are at 7500 ft. Tomorrow they go camping.
He posted a picture of the little one crying while rock climbing.
I want to go get them. He isn't answering his phone. It's 3:30am here and there's no one that can help!
Turns out, AH checked out of the chalet today and moved the kids to a mountain refuge an additional one hour drive further into the mountains on a narrow, windy road. I have no address.
Now I have one boy glad to have gotten away. He is injured and he came home on his own unfed and unattended to.
This court-ordered unsupervised visit isn't going too well. AH wants the kids to have a full-on rock climbing, mountain experience. He has a 6, 10 and 13 year old still with him. They are at 7500 ft. Tomorrow they go camping.
He posted a picture of the little one crying while rock climbing.
I want to go get them. He isn't answering his phone. It's 3:30am here and there's no one that can help!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 209
OMG that's terrible!
Can your 16 year old give you any idea where he was? How did he get home?
What about the police in that area-can they help at all?
I hope if the court finds out about this little "trip" the unsupervised visits will be canceled....
Can your 16 year old give you any idea where he was? How did he get home?
What about the police in that area-can they help at all?
I hope if the court finds out about this little "trip" the unsupervised visits will be canceled....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 199
Oh Pippi, that is just wretched. I'm so so sorry. How soon do you get them home? I bet and hope they're tending to each other. You are brave, that must be such heartache. My apologies if this is in another thread, but do you have a lawyer you trust and can you work something out based on this experience so this doesn't happen again? Being an hour deeper in the woods with no notice, and an injured and under child, amounts to neglect at least I would think. (This isn't my area, but I am a lawyer).
Hugs to you Pippi. I bet you'll hug them extra tight when they get home and they'll be incredibly happy to see you.
Hugs to you Pippi. I bet you'll hug them extra tight when they get home and they'll be incredibly happy to see you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 73
please call law enforcement and make them aware of this immediatly if you havent already. your children could be in serious danger. id fight for full custody too. Good luck and God bless. Ill be praying for you and your children.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Pippi, I wish more than anything that I had some ESH to share on this, but I can barely imagine what you must be going through. I will be thinking of you tonight, and checking this thread as late as I can. Hugs, courage, strength...all I've got tonight is yours.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 164
I know for a fact that you have a legal right to have communication with your children while they are having visitation with your ex. Please call the police immediately and have child protective services come to your house and interview your 16 year old about the conditions the you get ones are in. That is child abuse. And it is easy to tell he is doing all of this to get to you and hurt you. If he is posting things. Copy and paste, print take screen shots whatever to have proof if he deletes it. This is child abuse. Try and be brave. I know this may be the most difficult thing you have ever gone through. At least the 16 year old got away. Sometimes they can track by cell phone signals. I would call police immediately. My ex husband did horrible things to my kids to try and get to me. But finally the judge caught on to what he was doing and he had visitation taken away. He did that all by himself with his own actions. I didn't have to do anything. I will say a special prayer for you and your children. No child should have to go through that and you shouldn't either. You may want to think about a different lawyer also if you can afford one. I ended up going to the clerk of courts website and printing out the forms to file myself on things. Angels are watching over your children and God will keep them safe until help can get to them. Sending hugs and positive thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
He posted a picture of the little one crying while rock climbing.
Save that picture.
You know he's doing this to get to you, right?
Don't let him.
He will deliver the kids back home in once piece -- but he will have accomplished one thing: They will never ever again want to go with him.
Document that.
Breathe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
Okay. Breathing.
I did go to the police this morning. They were sympathetic, if not particularly helpful.
To back track, first, I had called AH to find out where the h**l they were. He hung up without saying anything. On the way to the station, I received a text from my 13 year old, giving me the name of the refuge.
From the station, I called the refuge and was informed that everything was fine and they had left to go camping. Then my daughter called to explain that they were ok except that I was ruining their vacation by calling the proprietor (!).
Good news, they appear to be ok. Bad news, no one can confirm where they will be tonight.
I see that their father wants to teach everyone to tough it out. My oldest had enough of that and came home. My 13 year old is determined to support her dad. She is belaying the rope while little sister cries deeply in the photo AH posted.
Thank you all for your prayers.
I did go to the police this morning. They were sympathetic, if not particularly helpful.
To back track, first, I had called AH to find out where the h**l they were. He hung up without saying anything. On the way to the station, I received a text from my 13 year old, giving me the name of the refuge.
From the station, I called the refuge and was informed that everything was fine and they had left to go camping. Then my daughter called to explain that they were ok except that I was ruining their vacation by calling the proprietor (!).
Good news, they appear to be ok. Bad news, no one can confirm where they will be tonight.
I see that their father wants to teach everyone to tough it out. My oldest had enough of that and came home. My 13 year old is determined to support her dad. She is belaying the rope while little sister cries deeply in the photo AH posted.
Thank you all for your prayers.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 164
When is he scheduled to return the children to you? And I hope you know your daughter saying you were ruining their vacation came from her dad telling her to say that. You are a loving, concerned mom. If that did come from her, she will understand when she is with you again just how worried you were.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
Two nights to go.
My daughter called just now. It is confusing for the children. They know I worry when I don't know where they are and especially because they are with their father. They have to ask themselves: why is Mom worried? Dad said there's no problem. Is there something to worry about? Is Mom crazy? Is Dad crazy? What could happen to us? What should we do? And what about this judge? We just want to have a fun vacation.
I heard how my daughter flip flops. She yells at me that there's nothing wrong. She yells at her father that there IS something wrong. He has her telling me what their plan is and their address. If I sound frustrated, my daughter tells me it isn't her fault.
Of course it isn't her fault!
The police told me to call the judge tomorrow morning, informing him that AH isn't following court orders.
But now AH has told me where they will be the next two nights. They came off the mountain and are in a family campground. In my old tent from before I met AH. That is one old tent!
I also talked to my little girl and she sounds okay. I have been going out to parties and training outdoors with my team. I even found myself on an accidental double date. Didn't see that coming! Definitely a stretch of the imagination!
But all this time I just want my angels back.
So much of this divorce process has been AH being unreliable, uncommunicative and dishonest. Drinking seems secondary. Its the antisocial behaviors that are most troubling at the moment. He doesn't appear to be drinking for now. Maybe cause he has these court ordered blood tests. He's always had these times when he seems tense but more under control. Impossible to really know from back where I sit.
My daughter called just now. It is confusing for the children. They know I worry when I don't know where they are and especially because they are with their father. They have to ask themselves: why is Mom worried? Dad said there's no problem. Is there something to worry about? Is Mom crazy? Is Dad crazy? What could happen to us? What should we do? And what about this judge? We just want to have a fun vacation.
I heard how my daughter flip flops. She yells at me that there's nothing wrong. She yells at her father that there IS something wrong. He has her telling me what their plan is and their address. If I sound frustrated, my daughter tells me it isn't her fault.
Of course it isn't her fault!
The police told me to call the judge tomorrow morning, informing him that AH isn't following court orders.
But now AH has told me where they will be the next two nights. They came off the mountain and are in a family campground. In my old tent from before I met AH. That is one old tent!
I also talked to my little girl and she sounds okay. I have been going out to parties and training outdoors with my team. I even found myself on an accidental double date. Didn't see that coming! Definitely a stretch of the imagination!
But all this time I just want my angels back.
So much of this divorce process has been AH being unreliable, uncommunicative and dishonest. Drinking seems secondary. Its the antisocial behaviors that are most troubling at the moment. He doesn't appear to be drinking for now. Maybe cause he has these court ordered blood tests. He's always had these times when he seems tense but more under control. Impossible to really know from back where I sit.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 164
Children hear things even when they are not "in the same room" or "listening" . They know what is going on. I know you want your children in the kind of environment you envision for them. But a judge isn't going to care if the tent is old. But he will care about their physical safety and the father not allowing you to speak with them or know their location. I understand from personal experience with my first husband that all you want is your kids safe at home. I know you don't want to have to deal with all of this after the fact. But I think ( and again speaking from my own experience with my first husband) after you have the children home safely, you should talk to someone to have this behavior stopped or prevented from happening again. The judge will want documentation not your word vs his. If you can afford to take all of the children to a licensed family therapist. One that will testify in court in your children's behalf. The judge usually won't listen to children. But they would listen to someone that is unbiased. If it were me, I would try and do this while fresh on the kids minds. If you cannot afford that. You could ask for a court appointed guardian ad litem. It is someone that basically goes to court in the children's behalf. As their own lawyer kind of. It would make sure that the children's best interest are being put first and foremost and that this type of thing doesn't happen again. It would take the focus off of you trying to control the situation in your XAH eyes. It is unfortunate but sometimes judges cannot do anything until something does happen. So maybe this was a blessing that he did this (important they are safe) and now that supervised visitation will be put in place. It sounds like though he spoke to someone that told him he had to tell you where they were and allow you to speak to them. It sounds like he knows he cannot play games anymore.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I'm glad you heard from them and that they're OK. And I think your analysis of their confusion is spot on. I bet your daughter wasn't mad at you for calling the proprietor but mad because you calling the proprietor pissed your ex off and that what she's upset about.
That's just me reading into your children what mine did. I got chewed out by text for contacting them while they were on vacation with AXH - even though they texted me first. Because he was mad that they stayed in contact with me - "what!? I'm not good enough?" And he took it out on them, they were scared, and so they yelled at me because I'm safe to yell at; he's not.
Big hugs.
That's just me reading into your children what mine did. I got chewed out by text for contacting them while they were on vacation with AXH - even though they texted me first. Because he was mad that they stayed in contact with me - "what!? I'm not good enough?" And he took it out on them, they were scared, and so they yelled at me because I'm safe to yell at; he's not.
Big hugs.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
That is an excellent idea. I have two family/children's therapists that I have used. Neither would help me write anything for the court. They didn't want to assert anything.
How does one go about finding a therapist that will testify before a judge?
Also, on another note - my children are rather used to their father's behaviors. Sometimes they are upset, but then they banalize everything. But I suppose a therapist would know about this.
I should ask my domestic violence advocate. She's great and she could scout someone out for me.
Thank you!
How does one go about finding a therapist that will testify before a judge?
Also, on another note - my children are rather used to their father's behaviors. Sometimes they are upset, but then they banalize everything. But I suppose a therapist would know about this.
I should ask my domestic violence advocate. She's great and she could scout someone out for me.
Thank you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
Lillamy,
My children do yell at me quite a lot when their father is about. Especially the older two. And they disrespect me awfully. I am learning through this how to be firm, consistent, and persistent. And to tell them when they hurt me. They are witnessing some terrible adult behaviors. I have to be one solid rock. Hard to pull off when AH gives me PTSD.
I do see that they feel safe with me. I am reliably active in their lives. I may be exhausted, distraught, moody. But I am there for them and I will stand up to anyone to protect them.
I do wonder what the judge will say. AH is consistently proving himself difficult and noncompliant, that's for sure. I hate having to endure all this risk with the children, but AH's troubling ways have to become visible to others now - not just to me.
For all you living with an AH and not separating yet...squirrel money away!!! And document, document, document!!!
My children do yell at me quite a lot when their father is about. Especially the older two. And they disrespect me awfully. I am learning through this how to be firm, consistent, and persistent. And to tell them when they hurt me. They are witnessing some terrible adult behaviors. I have to be one solid rock. Hard to pull off when AH gives me PTSD.
I do see that they feel safe with me. I am reliably active in their lives. I may be exhausted, distraught, moody. But I am there for them and I will stand up to anyone to protect them.
I do wonder what the judge will say. AH is consistently proving himself difficult and noncompliant, that's for sure. I hate having to endure all this risk with the children, but AH's troubling ways have to become visible to others now - not just to me.
For all you living with an AH and not separating yet...squirrel money away!!! And document, document, document!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
so if they are HIGH in the mountains, it is amazing that you can still get calls...I have spots on my drive HOME where my phone ceases to function. my point is....if you can still have contact it might be as BAD as you think. in my office in the building I work in I have virtually nil as far as bars......hank asks me sometimes why his calls go straight to voicemail...my phone never says I even GOT a call.....
It might help not to think the worst.....not see this as another attempt by him to GET you....it's tough to let them go, I get that....but you have heard reports that they are ok. breathe.
It might help not to think the worst.....not see this as another attempt by him to GET you....it's tough to let them go, I get that....but you have heard reports that they are ok. breathe.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
