Black Bird

Hey all, first I want to say I am so happy this forum is here! You all are getting me through this tough day big time!
My husband has forgiven me for my relapse and he is being so nice to me. I am grateful, but I also don't want to talk or smile or pretend I'm ok. I am getting annoyed at him for being nice! Wth??? Granted, I am hung over and feeling emotionally crappy. But I just feel more horrible that he is being engaging and nice and I, the drunk jerk, is still being a jerk! Are these crazy mixed up feelings?? I called my sponser and left a message. I really just want to be ok today and definitely NOT hurt my husband anymore than I already have.
Any wisdom for me?

Lightning Bug

Do you think you are really annoyed at him or do you think you may feel mad at yourself for disappointing him?

Black Bird

I think I am mad at myself. I believe it is all guilt. Should I isolate like I am? I just feel I can't think straight.

Lightning Bug

I definitely don't think you should isolate. it may make you more angry and resentful. Do you have a friend you can call? Maybe you can go out and get something to eat or see a movie or do something other than isolate or drink.

Black Bird

I definitely will not drink. But it is what I like to do when I drink. So you are prob right that I should stop and do something.

Mizzuno

What about watching a movie with your husband? He loves you and obviously cares about your well being. Try to pull yourself out of "Jerk" mode. It is okay for people to treat us kindly. Ya know? He is there for you.