Sidney14

Here I was thinking 4 years off alcohol, relapsed on a 2 months binge of Xanax am on a tapering program still with Valium ....3 abusive relationships, unexoected loss of my mum and then my grandmother later full custody of 3 girls, working fulltime I had finally caught a break and gotten stronger, ready to get my ship in order and put my apartment on sale and move into a new place to make new memories, only to find myself in tears everyday for the last month, I try to figure out what changed in those last three weeks....the one thing that changed is that my sister is going though separation and has been leaning on me, one min she is up the next down, up then down I can't keep up with her, the twist here is that he is an addict gambler etc so basically I see and understand it from both sides and in the beginning I felt good being needed by my sister who once was so judgemental of me and my problems with addiction but for some reason I am the one who feels like I have lost motivation it is like what I had to go though on my own came out again with her sudden insecurities and her neediness. For some reason I let it get to me.....I feel disappointed in myself maybe that is what it is........ All I want is to move forward ......what she is going through it is too much I still have my own issues struggling with my demons etc .... I don't know is this normal?

Mountainmanbob

I have seen church attendance help many
Jesus told us that it would not be easy down here
but
if we seek God with all our heart
he will help us through

Mountainman


John MacArthur - Anxiety-Free Living, Part 1
John MacArthur - Anxiety-Free Living, Part 1 - YouTube

doggonecarl

You sound overwhelmed. I don't want to dismiss SR and the wonderful job that it does in supporting so many, but some things can't be fixed on an online forum.

Have you thought about counseling or other profressional help?

least

I agree with Carl. I'd suggest counseling to work thru your issues relating to your own problems and those of your family.

FatallyUncool

Hi Sidney,

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. That sounds like a lot to deal with! I agree with the great suggestions here. Sometimes face-to-face support can be very helpful.

Doesn't matter which forum, just keep posting.

Dee74

Hi Sidney - sorry you're going through a rough time again.
Weren't you going to go to counselling a while back?

D

Sidney14

Yep going back to a new counsellor my old one who was a psychiatrist whom I saw did nothing in 5 years I don't know why I never left her sooner all I always did was go talk about the same things, without really solving or getting any feedback apart from a change of a different antidepressant medication and a huge bill. Last time I forced her to give me feedback and her feedback was that from a clinical point of view I am prone to severe melancholic depression, and that I have extremely complicated relationships .
And that I am also in denial of the reality of raising three kids on my own.....
Lets hope for a counsellor that I can connect with.. Thanks

Dee74

best wishes Sidney - I hope the change helps

D

Anna

I hope you find a counsellor who works out for you, too.

I wanted to say that you don't need to be the pillar of strength for your sister right now. Your own sobriety is the most important thing. As you said, you have 3 children to care for. Give your sister the love you can, but try to take a step back and make sure you look after yourself.

Sidney14

Ironic I am always good at giving advice to others about looking after themselves yet when it comes to listening to my own needs and taking care of them it is a whole different story.
I have the tendency to push myself and push myself and then yes it comes to this exhaustion galore, which makes me moody and not think straight.....