BlueChair

He has been is rehab since last Monday. Ive been able to talk to him a few times, but tomorrow and this weekend I will get to see him. The rehab suggested that he have the two weeks (almost) to get used to things there, but now I can see him & he gets his phone. I bought him a new one. The old was finally found by one of his friends and the tracking that is on the phone. But the adviser said a new phone would be better, not same reminder as the past. Tomorrow we (me, his parents, my parents ) are supposed to go to the rehab for a family session with the counselor there. And then we are all going to get to eat dinner together, and spend some time. Then I am going to be able to visit with him on over the weekend also. They allow visiting everyday, but it is hard when I am working and the driving back and forth with our traffic, in the times that he is not in his sessions and all that. I just wanted to update everyone. He is still in rehab, and he still seems depressed, but he also has moments of his sense of humor coming through so that is good at least .

Ann

It's nice you all get to see him and I hope the family support encourages him to do what he needs to do.

Not seeing him every day is a good thing, he really needs to focus on his program and his recovery right now.

Hope this all works out well for both of you.

Hugs

new beginnings

My husband had been in rehab for two weeks tomorrow. But they won't allow him to have visitors for the first two weeks. His rehab is four hours away. But I have been so appreciative not to have him in the house. It has been calm and I can actually breath.

allforcnm

I hope your visit goes well, and its great to hear all of the family is participating in the counseling session. When my husband was in rehab they assigned me a therapist, and she was amazing. Make sure you ask what resources are available to you, and the rest of the family. My husband was pretty emotional the first couple visits but I had been warned in advance by his primary doctor what to expect. Hopefully you will get an update before your face to face visit. It can help get you in the right frame of mind, ease some of the stress when you do see him. Not trying to be a downer, just wanted to mention it just in case.

Kindeyes

Enjoy your visit and I would encourage you to partake in all family training and/or counseling sessions you are able to. My son's first stint in an inpatient was where I found out I had some "issues" that I needed to address. It was a BIG first step for me.

You are lucky that you're able to see him so soon. My son's last rehab (Salvation Army ARC) didn't allow any contact in person or by phone for 30 days. They are very rigid in their rules and I am so very grateful that they were.......

You and your dear husband will be in my prayers.

gentle hugs
ke

BlueChair

I know what you mean, it has been nice not worrying about him (he was missing before all this) and to know he is getting help he needs. I have been able to start winding down. But I do miss him.

BlueChair

Thank you, and I will check out what they have for me, and family. Im hoping his dad comes. He was supposed to, but then his mom said he had some issue with work and he might not make it. Im waiting now to hear if we are to wait for him, or go ahead and leave as planned. Im not expecting him to be in a great mood or anything. I know he is depressed, but I just want him to know Im proud of him, and Im happy he is being strong and getting help.

BlueChair

a whole month, that seems like a long time.Why were you grateful they wouldnt let you talk to him? I didnt understand why they even suggested the 2 weeks to visit, although I have been able to talk to him. But the advisor said it was mostly to let them settle in, and not be constantly thinking about home, worrying about me, or if I was upset it would maybe influence him. And the two weeks gave us both a chance to reflect, me some sleep, and I do feel better emotionally. It may hit me later, but right now i have no anger, Im just happy he is safe and getting help.

Kindeyes

Because it gave him time to understand the way their system worked and to concentrate on his own recovery. Often in the first few weeks, addicts will really want out and will try to convince their greatest enabler (in my son's case...that would be me) to help them get out. They want to complain about the way they are treated, what they have to do, about the food, about the schedule......anything. Keeping them sequestered from outside influences is a start to establishing behavioral change.

It's much easier if they don't have an audience. It helps both parties heal.

That's why I was grateful. He's over eight months sober now....that's the longest he's been sober since about 16 years old (he's now 32). It's nice to have my son back. The Sally's rigid rules saved his life.

If you could not talk to or see your husband for a month....or six months.....but when you saw him again he was clean and sober and doing well.....would it be worth that time of separation?

In the six months my son was in rehab, I talked to him just a few times and saw him once. It was worth it.

gentle hugs
ke

BlueChair

Half his life using drugs, must have been very hard for him to stop. Im glad you have your son back, and yes i understand what your saying. When my husband was in the hospital, the doctors talked to all of us and one thing mentioned was outpatient and my husband latched onto that even though the doctor said inpatient rehab would be best. And then why 3 months of rehab and not just 30? Any of those options would have been easier for me to stomach too, but if this longer rehab is better then Im all for it.

I was told that if he wanted to come home, just had to tell him no and reaffirm he needed to stay there and get the help he needed. All of the family, his friends, and his work were in agreement. Wasnt an issue the first two weeks when I did get to talk to him thankfully. I it was necessary I would stay away from him of course, but his rehab seems to think family being involved is good. I guess they each have their own ways.

Whats Sally's ?

BlueChair

It went good last night. His dad was able to make it on time and we all went to the meeting with the counselor and that took about 90 minutes, and then we were able to visit with him, and have dinner together. His parents spent some time alone with him, and Im going by myself today after his morning sessions, so we can spend the afternoon together. He seems to be doing ok they are telling us. He is moody sort of, and got a little sharp with his parents over something, and then was a little snippy with me about something, but overall he was ok just feeling down like I expected. Im looking forward to today, and we are going to have a picnic on the grounds there. Im sort of expecting him to complain more when we are alone, but Im prepared !

interrupted

The Salvation Army. My loving grandmother always called it that, too, it warms my heart and I think of her whenever I see it referenced that way. We used to shop there when I was a child and she would always say that I got all my dresses at Sally's.

They have what I understand to be a very good rehab program.

BlueChair

Oh that is cute !!
I thought it was an abbreviation for some type of treatment plan.