ippochick

so here I am again at day 1. I'm sorry and I feel like I want to hurt myself and just urgh.

don't slip, kids. it ain't worth it.

Nuudawn

Hurt yourself? You already did woman...and now you're gonna kick yourself 9 ways into Sunday bout that. That's really not productive.Go through the episode..why did it happen and what will you do differently next time. Pick it apart. It started long before you picked up the drink. Sunday night I was out of sorts and knew my "mooring lines" were at risk. I seem to think that as soon as I start to feel "out of sorts" my sobriety is at risk and it's Code Yellow.
Hey..many, many, many have slipped and just got back on the damn stallion and rode it out. You can too. You're a brilliant chick.

alphaomega

I'm placing my bets on you Ippo.

Go on, brush ya shoulders off.

Xoxo

DrunkenBob

I am looking at day 5 of round two for me Ippo.

Don't get too down on yourself. Try to see what prompted you to break down and try to correct it.

I am still trying to figure out why I screwed up. It's still a mystery to me. Just picked myself up and started day 1 (again).

I know one thing - I would rather keep having day 1 then just give up trying.

raja12

Don't feel so bad, I'm back at day 1 again as well. And I've been trying since last December. Like Nuu says, just get up and let's get on with this!

EndGameNYC

If hurting ourselves helped, then we'd all the happiest, most sober people on the planet.

mecanix

Nice you got back up ,

Stick with it ,

Bestwishes, m

Ptcapote

Agree with all the above. Particularly not beating yourself up and that you're a brilliant chick

Plenny

Hi Ippo I'm so sorry you're disappointed in yourself. I read your thread last night and just came back to see how you're doing. Day 1 again can be a great day. It can be the day you learn that much more about triggers and why giving in to them gets you so low. You are so much more equipped this time around. You must not beat yourself up but know that you've tested yourself and you now have more information. Good luck

dragon12

Thanks for your post ippochick, a reminder of how DAY 1 sucks! Most of us have had many DAY 1's. It gets really tiring. We have just got to learn what the triggers are and put strategies in place for the next confrontation.

Don't get disheartened, just simply start again.

Hevyn

Hi Ippo. I did that so many times. I finally made it though - and you will too, Ippo. Sometimes we just need further proof that it's horrible and there's no fun left in it for us. Just misery. Glad you posted about what happened. You're back - and you can do this.

Dee74

Our addiction loves it when we beat ourselves up - it keeps our self esteem low, it keeps us scared and weak and vulnerable.

To that inner addict in us all that makes us choice pickings.

Forgive yourself. You're trying to change your life and you zigged when you should have zagged.

It's done and you're back. Don't dwell.

Welcome back

D

Louise82

Hey ippo, I'm so glad you're back. Stop beating yourself up --we can't change the past but we can learn from it to change our futures for the better.