Dreams and healing with sobriety.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Dreams and healing with sobriety.
When I lay down to sleep at night, the moments between sleep and being conscious, I experience this deep rooted pain that I can only describe as abandonment. It hits me like a wave, and I struggle to disregard the feeling as I fall into sleep.
Last night, I did not struggle to keep the feelings away, and I cried. I sobbed into my pillow until sleep overtook my conscious state. I then dreamed of a river and not being able to escape drowning. My husband and I were quickly approaching a cliff where the drop off only lead into death. I woke up startled.
I can only speculate that these wounds from my childhood are not healed, and even though I am an adult, I still feel abandoned. I would like to call my parents and tell them that I need them. There is no one to call though. I am not sure where they are, and they are not what I need. I am healing.
My childlike state of being, stuck between the dream world and reality is hurting.
I am making sure that I do not sink deeper into a depressed state. It has been about a week since I opened up about not feeling "well". I am monitoring the situation. I have drank over this for years. Today, I will sit with it.
Just a little update.
Last night, I did not struggle to keep the feelings away, and I cried. I sobbed into my pillow until sleep overtook my conscious state. I then dreamed of a river and not being able to escape drowning. My husband and I were quickly approaching a cliff where the drop off only lead into death. I woke up startled.
I can only speculate that these wounds from my childhood are not healed, and even though I am an adult, I still feel abandoned. I would like to call my parents and tell them that I need them. There is no one to call though. I am not sure where they are, and they are not what I need. I am healing.
My childlike state of being, stuck between the dream world and reality is hurting.
I am making sure that I do not sink deeper into a depressed state. It has been about a week since I opened up about not feeling "well". I am monitoring the situation. I have drank over this for years. Today, I will sit with it.
Just a little update.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey Mizz,
abandonment issues have run deep in me too .
Partly sobriety and partly working on issues to find acceptance and then contentment has got it in good proportion in my life .
These days my brain makes mental notes i look at later for what i was doing and how to do the right thing rather than my emotions which used to be jumping round all over , sometimes still do .
I noticed recently it was true with my recent forray into dating , nothing i couldn't deal with though .
I know how clear thinking you are so i don't doubt that you'll sort it out
You're never alone as long as there is SR and i'm sober
Your distant brother in recovery , m
abandonment issues have run deep in me too .
Partly sobriety and partly working on issues to find acceptance and then contentment has got it in good proportion in my life .
These days my brain makes mental notes i look at later for what i was doing and how to do the right thing rather than my emotions which used to be jumping round all over , sometimes still do .
I noticed recently it was true with my recent forray into dating , nothing i couldn't deal with though .
I know how clear thinking you are so i don't doubt that you'll sort it out
You're never alone as long as there is SR and i'm sober
Your distant brother in recovery , m
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