Pedro1234

There's a fork on the road
Which way should I go?
Should I continue straight?
Should I go to the right?
A split second decision
To dictate my life's direction
So glad I got a choice
I should just rejoice
Because I get to choose
But I am still confused

Busarider - 2008

Dee74

are you at a crossroads now Pedro?

D

ImperfectlyMe

Hey Pedro how's the fourth month

least

What's going on Pedro?

Pedro1234

My life has changed so much since i become sober much of it for the better from my perspective. BUT i acknowledge i am now completely different. I am not sure that others think the new Pedro is a better version. My family and friends want the old me back. The life of the party. The practical joker. Easy going Pedro.
You have to give up so much to change a 30 year plus habit. Not just the drink but lifestyle changes. I just cant see where this will end at the moment and what and who will be there at the end with me!

Pedro1234

Hi- The forth month is confusing. I cope easier with the cravings though now

ImperfectlyMe

I had/have been feeling like I'm not "me" anymore so I know what you me. I wish I had words of profound wisdom!

ImperfectlyMe

Crazy I woke up wondering how you were feeling I'm so rooting for you! I thought alot about what you said in my own sobriety. Maybe the early days of sobriety require so much rigidity and inner reflections that we become guarded and introverted. At least it has been The case for me. This four month mark is really a mile stone your not playing games anymore its real life.

It's my hopes that in what ever path you take you find a good balance. That funny guy chugging drinks with his mates is still there minus the booze!

BabyJane

I have felt this way in the past, so I understand. The question is; what is better for YOU? People want the old version back but that person was unhappy and not well. If you had truly been happy back then, you would not be getting sober now. Do what is best for YOU, in the long run.

What is right is not always easy,
What is easy is not always right.

aasharon90

The answers will come in a timely manner.
When I stop fighting with my inner voice,
relax, go with the flow, continue to follow
direction from my recovery program, putting
FIRST THINGS FIRST, which and formost is
to remain sober no matter what, then that
Force, Power greater than I, my HP, will
guide me and give me the right, healthier
decision in His time and not mine.

I've been impatient a many a times thru
out my 22 yrs. in recovery. The biggest
fork in the road was not knowing what to
do in my 1st marriage. I cried, prayed,
worked and lived my recovery program
doing what ever I needed to do to stay
sober first and give my will and life up
to that Force greater than I for protection,
guidance and direction.

When time passed and acceptance came
into play, my situation was answered. Today,
im greatful for allowing the program of recovery
to help me in all areas of my life because, Im
happier, healthier, stronger, more at peace and
serene in my life than ever.

I didn't get all the promises offered to us in
recovery right away. They were given to me
in accordance with where I was in my program.


As I continue on my recovery journey I
know I will have other choices to make,
other forks in the road to make decisions,
however, im not gonna worry because I
have built a strong, stable recovery foundation
a day at a time over the yrs. to with stand
whatever life throws at me because im not
alone. Nor ever will be.

visch1

Beautifully stated Sharon, unfortunately too many don't like how you got to where you are: lots of WORK and it takes TIME. BE WELL

Grungehead

I too am in my 4th month of recovery Pedro. I had to make a big decision about a week ago and didn't know what to do. I did something I am not used to doing, I prayed about it. The answer came and practically hit me over the head to make sure I didn't miss it. I think every time we reach a fork in the road in recovery it's a great opportunity to learn and grow. It's still difficult to trust our decisions at this stage, but as long as we stay sober we can learn something regardless of what decision we make.

DrakeCKC

my 4th month is upon me Pedro and I have heard the same. Some old friends say (not so much to my face but to others and it gets back to me) that I am no fun anymore and they just do not understand me. I am just in a crazy phase and I will come back... etc. That sort of bother's me as I do not want to be rejected and ignored. Striggling with those feelings is part of why I drank in the first place.

My clear mind is also allowing me to examine some of the other less positive aspects of my life. That is scary too.

But I like the new me, I am feeling better and looking better losing weight, more color, no bags under my eyes... so I am going to continue on.

Thanks for sharing Pedro.

tomsteve

when ya get to the fork in the road, take it.( yogi berra)

Dee74

Change takes some getting used to, both for us and for our loved ones.
If the life of the party easy going Pedro is the real you, it will come back, trust me

If it's not the real you, there'd be no sense in living a lie, anyway right?

D

Louise82

The most important thing is whether you're happier with yourself and your life now Pedro. 4 months sober is an amazing achievement and you should not forget that. If you are happier, your family will see this and come round in time too.

Pedro1234

I am sure it is exactly as you say as we realize what we are doing this for real. 4 months ago i would have only imagined that i could be this far into recovery and achieve what i have achieved.
My health is better, i look and feel 10 years younger, my business is thriving i have time i never had before and quality time, and the list goes on I think the problem is the grass is greener attitude.
In Buddhism they call this our "inner desires" which drive ourselves to want more and more. Its like wanting a new car. You are all excited and happy at first and then you buy it and drive it, wash and polish it etc You are happy for a while. But then you get used to it and after a while its just a car and you move on to desire something else. This becomes a vicious circle that inevitably leads to unhappiness.
Maybe i am just desiring what i had as well as what i now have and as we all know on SR that isn't possible

ImperfectlyMe

That is EXACTLY it i want what I have now wish I could put a dash of the old me (party girl) in there too! But reading others dips back into the drinking pool I see they never end well! Grass is always greener is what it is! I know when I was a drunkard I would envy the woman I am today, so I guess I'm concluding I'm standing on the greener side

Pedro1234

I think i might stay on this for side for now as well Thinking of it sensibly i cant remember the grass being greener over the other side. Matter of fact it was pretty much dead. lol.
Thanks everyone for your input. Its great to have such good support.