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new here/my story

Old 07-30-2013, 12:22 PM
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new here/my story

hello all,

this is the first time i've been here, so here's my story:

i've been struggling with alcohol for almost 10 years now! i started out drinking 3 to 6 light beers every night when i was 19 (a habit i picked up from my father, who used to drink himself to sleep with 12-14). the dose gradually increased as time wore on, and by age 22-23, i had reached the ugly point where "taking a night off" was no longer an option. to combat the madness of withdrawal, i started using other drugs--marijuana (which i'd always smoked), opiates, and xanax, whatever i could get.

i bottomed out at 23: i quit my job, spent all of my money on booze, and turned into a degenerate for 2 months. as i couldn't afford expensive drugs anymore, i started stealing robitussin from grocery stores to hold me over until i found money for beer. it took about 8 extremely depressing months to recover, but i finally decided to turn it around; i got a new job and went back to college. i managed to stay sober for exactly a year, but fell back into it when i stupidly accepted a part-time job at a grocery store where beer was sold.

since then, it's been on and off--i'll stay dry for 2 or 3 weeks, but then i'll have a bad day and go buy a 6-pack. this is completely unsustainable for a number of reasons, these being:
A) the withdrawal symptoms DO NOT GET WEAKER IF YOU "LAY OFF FOR A LITTLE WHILE"-- in fact, they get worse every time! after my latest relapses (july 4, july 18), i've had to resort to smoking and tranquilizers to get over them.
B) i've destroyed my stomach over the years, and now wake up with terrible, violent gas every time i drink; it's humiliating!
C) the stakes are getting way too high in my life: i'm getting ready to graduate and possibly start grad school. while my drinking has miraculously not affected my grades or my standing with the low-paying jobs i've had while in college, i do not want to risk a decent living for something i've grown to hate so much!

i am now 12 days sober and ready to do everything possible to never drink again! i've picked up some good habits (like regular exercise, healthy diet) and abandoned old friends over the last year, but still have other dangerous ones (insomnia). furthermore, when i have bad days, they are REALLY bad-- i think i've damaged the part of the brain responsible for handling stress!

as such, i'm trying something new by posting here! i hope to be inspired by your stories and to help other people in their quest to leave the horrors of alcohol behind!
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:29 PM
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Hello and welcome! I had really horrible withdrawals. Exercise did help so much. The best thing that helped and still helps...urge surfing. It's kindof like "ok, I'm gonna feel bad for a minute and just letting it wash over you. Knowing it will pass instead of freaking out. Hard to explain. Google it. Try it. It still helps me with anxiety (possibly the reason I drank to begin with). Come to the chatroom and talk.
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:38 PM
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Stay strong. I am four days sober and it has been an emotional roller coaster but so worth it. Talk to people. That has helped me so much. You need to air the horrible truth about drinking and more than once. If you don't have someone to lean on then go to AA you will be amazed the support you will receive. Be good to yourself!!!
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:41 PM
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to SR! Congrats on twelve days sober. An old friend used to say that you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. She was right!
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:43 PM
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I am new also, day 22. When I need help or want to drink I go to the chat room. The people are great, and so very helpful. Every time someone makes a move forward I get stronger just thinking about them. You have found a very supportive and loving place to be. You are in my prayers.
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:46 PM
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Congrats and welcome! Thanks for sharing your story
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:57 PM
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Kudos to you! 12 days sober! Thanks for sharing your story. I am almost 5 days sober myself. I really don't want to go back to that place (withdrawal symptoms) again. That's what keeps me motivated NOT to drink at all.
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:45 PM
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welcome to SR nuncamas - there's a ton of support here

D
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted by pinkdog View Post
Hello and welcome! I had really horrible withdrawals. Exercise did help so much. The best thing that helped and still helps...urge surfing. It's kindof like "ok, I'm gonna feel bad for a minute and just letting it wash over you. Knowing it will pass instead of freaking out. Hard to explain. Google it. Try it. It still helps me with anxiety (possibly the reason I drank to begin with). Come to the chatroom and talk.
Wow, this is good stuff! I think riding out the bad moments are going to be the biggest challenge.
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted by huntingtontx View Post
I am new also, day 22. When I need help or want to drink I go to the chat room. The people are great, and so very helpful. Every time someone makes a move forward I get stronger just thinking about them. You have found a very supportive and loving place to be. You are in my prayers.
thank you huntingtontx... 22 days is a lot The next time I get a craving, I am going to use the chatroom.

this place is beautiful and I thank all of you for your support! God is good and all of us are going to move beyond this chapter of our lives and be that much stronger and wiser for it!
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:10 PM
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Welcome to the family nuncamas. You sound ready to do this. We're here to support you. I hope it helps you to know you're not alone. That's what made all the difference to me when I first joined SR. No one else in my life understood.
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