Boundary Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1
Boundary Help
Hi
Need a bit of advice. My addict girlfriend has broken several boundaries again this weekend but this time enough is enough i'm sick of letting this happen to myself.
I am struggling with the fact that we put boundaries in place to protect us and they are not to be used to punish your partner.
My problem is that myself and my partner have planned an overseas holiday and she crossed several boundaries is it wrong for me to cancel her ticket and try to take a friend and move out of my house until such a time that she can treat me with honesty and respect.
She has crossed many boundaries before but it has only occurred to me that I am feeling angry and frustrated because I wanted her to see my point of view which I now understand is not the right thing to do as we are all entitled to be who and what we are and live our lives how we see fit.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated
Need a bit of advice. My addict girlfriend has broken several boundaries again this weekend but this time enough is enough i'm sick of letting this happen to myself.
I am struggling with the fact that we put boundaries in place to protect us and they are not to be used to punish your partner.
My problem is that myself and my partner have planned an overseas holiday and she crossed several boundaries is it wrong for me to cancel her ticket and try to take a friend and move out of my house until such a time that she can treat me with honesty and respect.
She has crossed many boundaries before but it has only occurred to me that I am feeling angry and frustrated because I wanted her to see my point of view which I now understand is not the right thing to do as we are all entitled to be who and what we are and live our lives how we see fit.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
Boundries are for you....not her.
They start with "I" statements.
I will not go on vacation with an active addict
I will not live with an active addict
Etc.
Addicts cross boundries...it doesn't matter...but that's what they do.
What matters is....whether you allowed it and didn't follow thru with your actions.
They start with "I" statements.
I will not go on vacation with an active addict
I will not live with an active addict
Etc.
Addicts cross boundries...it doesn't matter...but that's what they do.
What matters is....whether you allowed it and didn't follow thru with your actions.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
Hi Willful,
Welcome to SR. I can offer my perspective.
I have an addicted 21 yo son. I had to ask him to leave the home in Feb because of his using pot in the house. Recently he moved back for a few days as he said he was not using and had run out of resources. I let him stay for a few days but it soon became clear that instead of using mj he was now drinking heavily (worse imo). Last week I asked him to leave again.
My boundary is that I will not live with an active addict. They steal, lie, isolate are lazy disrespectful and are unpleasant to be around. I don't need that. Last year I went on a trip (cruise) with my son. It was not a pleasant experience. I can write a few pages on that - suffice to say never again. You don't want them going through withdrawal, carrying drugs or trying to score drugs on your trip.
Are you sure you want to do that? Also why do you want to move out of your own house. Is that not punishing yourself?
Welcome to SR. I can offer my perspective.
I have an addicted 21 yo son. I had to ask him to leave the home in Feb because of his using pot in the house. Recently he moved back for a few days as he said he was not using and had run out of resources. I let him stay for a few days but it soon became clear that instead of using mj he was now drinking heavily (worse imo). Last week I asked him to leave again.
My boundary is that I will not live with an active addict. They steal, lie, isolate are lazy disrespectful and are unpleasant to be around. I don't need that. Last year I went on a trip (cruise) with my son. It was not a pleasant experience. I can write a few pages on that - suffice to say never again. You don't want them going through withdrawal, carrying drugs or trying to score drugs on your trip.
Are you sure you want to do that? Also why do you want to move out of your own house. Is that not punishing yourself?
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