thenotoriousdud

As some of you know my wife and recovery partner of 7 years chose to go back out 10 days ago. She finally connected with me yesterday and agreed to meet to sugn some papers. She fed me a lot of stuff concerning her present situation being bad and wanting better but when given the opportunity to go to detox she refused. She has 100% reverted to old behaviours including criminal activity. I fully doubt that she will contact me about cleaning up again this week because as most know this is the time of the month when money flows in the addict community. I am at a loss about what to do if/when she contacts me and wants out. Do I support her in yet ANOTHER attempt at recovery or do I let her navigate these waters on her own? She was a HUGE part of my recovery and I can say that I would not be where I am today if it weren't for her.

YearForMe

I am always grateful for the experience.....

but when you get to the fork in the road you have to take the path that best suits you
and so does she.

Katiekate

You need to stay sober.

That is the best you can do.

You offered help, she does not want it.

Let her go, you can answer any questions about the future when they arise.

How horribly difficult a time for you.

you are in my thoughts and prayers.

katie

lesliej

she knows where she can find help, and it IS available to her when she gets serious.
I always thought I could really help my ex because of my own experience with recovery, but ultimately, I think IMHO...emotions get in the way.

YearForMe

The enemy has ahold of her....
No need for him to get you too....

Remember:
1 Peter 5:8
New King James Version (NKJV)

8 Be sober, be vigilant; because[a] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

pravchaw

I am dealing with an addicted son.
My policy to support every genuine attempt are recovery. As you know not every attempt succeeds but as long as it is genuine I don't mind. I won't give him any money but will certainly drive him to detox or rehab etc. Also I don't want him living at our home while in active addiction.

DG0409

If she is unwilling to go to detox, it doesn't sound like she is making another attempt at recovery at all. You can't really support somebody at something they don't want to do.

zoso77

Who made the choice to seek recovery? Who did the hard work to get where you are?

Sure, the people in our lives can impact us for the better. But you did the hard work. Don't ever forget that.

ZoSo

thenotoriousdud

Thanks for all the replies folks, I have decided to back off completely. Just a bit of background, she came and grabbed me in the midst of a drug deal almost 8 years ago. Took me to a coffee shop and laid the recovery plan in front of me. We agreed to do it together and things got better. Over the years she has struggled going out at least once per year sometimes more. I have always been open to her return when she comes to the end of her runs but I think this is the reason why she continues to relapse. DAMN I miss her and this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I will stay strong and these feelings will pass I know it.