ms1679

I am recently divorced and what caused the separation was my wife's drinking habits. She would drink a large bottle of wine every night starting with coming home from work until she went to bed.

The problem is that over the years my drinking became worse and now that we are apart I continue to drink (at least 12 beers a day). My wife was built for drinking. She could drink a large bottle of wine on Friday and be up at 6:00 a.m. doing chores and running errands. I, on the other hand, would lay in bed, feeling horrible until 10:00 or 11:00. I have never gotten a DUI or been fired from a job over my drinking. With the DUI I have just been lucky and with work I have been lucky to be in positions with people I get along with very well and my excuses for being late were often overlooked.

I do not crave alcohol until I drink 4 or 5 beers, then before you know it the 12 pack is gone.

I'm a small business owner and work from home. It's a start up business and money is tight so I have been unable to do many of the things I use to. Drinking is a cheap way to enjoy myself at home (alone). I have found a new job that will get me out of the house every day. I will also have money to do things, like going to the gym, that won't give me so much free time to drink.

I am dating now, so I behave myself on dates even when we spend the night together.

I'm trying to see if I can get back to my drinking levels of 10 years ago, before I met my wife, so I can still enjoy a glass of wine on a date or a beer at a baseball game. My problem is that I can do this now. But then I find myself stopping at the liquor store on the way home.

I'm more or less expressing my feelings in this post, but I would like to hear from anyone who might have had similar experiences.

Dee74

Hi mshanaha66

If you find yourself buying more beer on the way home then you're not really keeping to the one glass of wine, or one beer though?

I believe alcoholism is progressive, and once we cross that invisible line, the line disappears and we can't get back, we can't undo our steps, ever..

I dunno where you are in regards to that line but 'at least 12 beers a day' is pretty hefty - to be honest I'd actually put that on a similar level, or even above, your ex wife's 2 bottles of wine.

Is permanent abstinence something you'd consider at all?

D

visch1

Hi. If you explore posts here we find that moderate drinking is wishful thinking if we have a problem. In AA it's suggested to try absolutely no drinking for 90 days for any reason. If we are successful we may have a problem of just drinking too much. If we are not successful there probably is a problem with alcohol, in which case abstaining sooner rather than later is an intelligent choice. Keep coming here for others input. BE WELL

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

ms1679

Permanent abstinence is certainly something I would consider.

Just to clarify...I have been dating a girl for a while and I have no problem sticking to a glass of wine or a beer when staying over night. But when I come home I find myself stopping for a six pack.

Thanks for your reply.

DAB

When I control my drinking I don't enjoy it, when I enjoy my drinking I can't control it.
I just had to go the total abstinence route. There isn't too much I miss about drinking, you might even say I am a happier person.

Dee74

Depends on how you look at it then I guess. I know once I would have said - look I can have one drink in this situation therefore it's possible for me to do that all the time...but I disregarded those beers afterward...and I really think you have to take those into account.

My addiction didn't mind waiting a while, for appearances sake...but it still *needed* to be fed....it was like I had no choice in the matter.

D

Hevyn

Welcome to SR mshanaha66.

I hope you'll find the help & support you're looking for. I'm glad you're taking a look at what drinking is doing to your life. For me, I could never control the amounts I drank for long. It would work for a short time, but then I'd go right back to abusing again. Glad you are here.

bigsombrero

Yeah this sounds familiar, I have been down that road myself...others here have said this can be progressive and I agree. Things can really go downhill quickly once you've crossed over. And it sounds to me like if you haven't already, you are on the way.

I understand you being skeptical about total abstinence. But drinking a 12-pack per night, man, people who can control their drinking don't do that. Many of us here were in your shoes. We weren't living under a bridge or begging for money outside an airport like the alcoholic you picture in your head, either. Just professionals who got lost. You are posting here because you know it's serious. We can relate and we know that feeling. Nobody's here to judge, just to see if we can help you manage this thing before it's too late. Stick around and keep posting and reading. Good luck.

Anna

I agree with Dee's comments. There were definitely times when I could drink a glass of wine at a dinner party and no more. But, then the next day, I'd be out buying more and off I'd go.

pinkdog

Yes, I can relate. Drinking can become a habit even if you are not addicted. The problem I had was it gradually increased. It got to the point, it was a big part of my life. Everyday thinking about it all day then going by the store. Trying to buy just the right amount, not too much or too little. It really was a hobby as well. Find new things to do (which you are). I had to taper down because it was like a 12 pack by then. I took 30 days and drank one less drink every couple days. It really worked for me. 3 years and 4 months sober. I cannot go back to it. I found better things to do. I was definitely addicted. The increasing factor was the reason I had to quit. Think about what you want. You can do it too.