Wife gone after 7 years..,
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Canada
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Wife gone after 7 years..,
My wife and I met in addiction 7 years ago, we decided to get clean together and managed to build a pretty good life. We both worked, we were buying a house and caring for our 3yr old nephew. Last Friday she threw it all away and went back out. In 10 days she has went all the way back to the way things were 7 yrs ago. I am struggling with the desire to go hunt for her and bring her home. I know i shouldn't do this but I miss her like crazy.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
I'm sorry for what has brought you here. It is so painful to see our loved one's hard work go out the window at a moments notice. I don't know how anyone could forget how bad it got before they cleaned up but unfortunately people do all the time. It's comforting to know she had gotten clean before. She can employ those choices and behaviors again if she chooses. In the meantime....good for you for reaching out. If you incorporated NA into your program it may be time for you to attend a nar-anon meeting. I'm always amazed at how many previous users attend...typically because their partner couldn't stop when they wanted to. Sending prayers your way. Stay strong in yourself...you've worked too hard for this....
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Originally Posted by thenotoriousdud 
My wife and I met in addiction 7 years ago, we decided to get clean together and managed to build a pretty good life. We both worked, we were buying a house and caring for our 3yr old nephew. Last Friday she threw it all away and went back out. In 10 days she has went all the way back to the way things were 7 yrs ago. I am struggling with the desire to go hunt for her and bring her home. I know i shouldn't do this but I miss her like crazy.
You know better than I do the work both you and your wife had to do to find recovery. It was probably brutal, but you did it. If your wife wants to go through the process again, she will. You can't make her do it.
Hope you stick around for a while. We're all here to help.
ZoSo
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
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I am so sorry. I can feel and relate to your pain. (I had to ask my 21 yo son to leave our house today because of his active addiction, I too miss him like crazy).
He like you wife has to find his own way back. You need to take care of yourself, first. Let her go, she will come back when she is ready to accept help.
He like you wife has to find his own way back. You need to take care of yourself, first. Let her go, she will come back when she is ready to accept help.
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. - Khalil Gibran.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: RICHMOND, va
Posts: 85
I'm very sorry for your loss. I know the feeling, the pit in your stomach and the pain in your heart. My husband has left us for days on end while feeding his crack addiction and I know that feeling, that flood of emotion from love and concern to hating him for being so selfish and making the whole family worry and focus on him. All you can do is wait- when the money was gone and the deed done- the regret and remorse took over and there was a new start. Unfortunately for us, this cycle seems to happen more than once every 7 years.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Very sorry to hear what you are going through. Hopefully your wife did learn some things in those 7 years that will help her get back on track. Have you heard from her at all since she left? Please take care of yourself as it sounds like a particularly trying situation which could test your own sobriety. Prayers with you both tonight.
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