Telling children/grandchildren
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Telling children/grandchildren
We have decided to tell our grandchildren (ages 7 and 13) about their dad (our son). Their mom and dad are divorced but we get along with his ex wife. She is going to join us tomorrow evening and mom, grandma and grandpa are going to talk to them. I asked his ex how she wanted to do it and she opted for all of us to be there together.
I found an article to guide us. This one David Sack, M.D.: How to Talk to a Child About a Parent's Addiction
Luckily our grandchildren don't live with him except during the summer which was cancelled recently. So unlike the children in the first part of this article they don't live in the chaos. They live with a sober mom.
Any suggestions, besides those in the article, would be helpful to know if anyone can suggest something.
We are doing this tomorrow evening, Monday.
Wow, this is going to be hard but they need to know as much of the truth as they can handle. We will NOT tell them he is in jail as we feel it will be too scary to hear that. We will tell them he is at a place that can help him and, for now, they won't be able to see him, etc. We will tell them that they can send a letter or drawing to him if they feel like they want to and he can write back to them.
We plan to follow the rest of the article and use the suggestions.
Any experiences or suggestions would be welcome.
Thanks, Kari
I found an article to guide us. This one David Sack, M.D.: How to Talk to a Child About a Parent's Addiction
Luckily our grandchildren don't live with him except during the summer which was cancelled recently. So unlike the children in the first part of this article they don't live in the chaos. They live with a sober mom.
Any suggestions, besides those in the article, would be helpful to know if anyone can suggest something.
We are doing this tomorrow evening, Monday.
Wow, this is going to be hard but they need to know as much of the truth as they can handle. We will NOT tell them he is in jail as we feel it will be too scary to hear that. We will tell them he is at a place that can help him and, for now, they won't be able to see him, etc. We will tell them that they can send a letter or drawing to him if they feel like they want to and he can write back to them.
We plan to follow the rest of the article and use the suggestions.
Any experiences or suggestions would be welcome.
Thanks, Kari
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
I have a bunch of stuff in my blog about helping children of addicts that may or may not be helpful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by cynical one 
I have a bunch of stuff in my blog about helping children of addicts that may or may not be helpful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
Kari
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
I read the article you posted, and it sounds like a good guideline to use for the discussion. My son is still very little, so I dont have personal experience with "the talk", but it is very encouraging that the three of you are going to do this together. I think the kids will feel more secure, and it will reaffirm there is unity in the family, and same understanding with all the adults regarding what is happening with their father.
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