Bellasue

During my sleepless day 5 night, I was in the chat room (thanks SR people for entertaining me for an hour!) and someone asked me what my plan was for recovery.

Plan?

I didn't really quit having a plan. Just knew I wanted to stop. So here I am, day 5......sleep issues, night sweats, weird dreams. Seems to be the extent of my problems thus far (not to say things won't get worse)

So my question is.....has anyone done detox on their own and been successful at being sober? I only know AA from what is seen in the movies, but I'm really not good at talking in front of groups and I don't love social interaction with strangers.

I know there is a vast amount of stories from all of you out here at SR. Any advice is appreciated!

Isaiah

I did a couple years of solo sobriety, but this was after being in AA for several years. Unless you want to count SR, which I use sporadically. I'm recently back in AA again and am happy to have returned.

I wouldn't recommend it, really, no.

With AA, you are under absolutely zero obligation to talk. If the meeting is one where people go around taking turns talking, you can say "I'll pass" or "I'm just listening." This is extremely common, normal and no one's going to think twice about it. When they ask, and they probably would, if there are any new people, you're also not obliged to introduce yourself--it's an invitation only.

There are also other alternatives you can look at. AA's not the only house on the street. It's just generally the most widely available and one of the most well-tried. Other people here I'm sure will come by with their experience trying different recovery programs/plans. I myself did outpatient group therapy before, didn't like it, quit early.

The plan is something you can work out over time. It's not something you have to decide now and stick to. The idea is that you do more than just wing it yourself. You certainly can do that, but statistically people who do fare less well than people engaged in something, whatever it may be.

Coming here can be a thing as well. Some people use this site as their recovery plan. But it's also a good place to hear experiences of what's been tried by others.

In any case... glad to hear you're into sobriety now. Wish you all the best in finding out where you go from here.

sugarbear1

AA is not about group therapy.

When there is nowhere else to turn, AA will be available.

glad you found SR

MidnightBlue

Hi, Bellasue.

Congrats on Day 5!

I didn't actually detox because didn't suffer much from sweats and other issues related. Insomnia, though, was a big problem. But I quit and I am staying sober on my own. SR has been my only support community during 9+ months of sobriety.

A plan for staying sober doesn't necessarily imply AA. It's more about to be prepared and "armed" because when quitting drinking many of us face such issues like stress, boredom, anxiety, etc. And then cravings hit, and if you don't have some plan at hand how to beat it, you are putting yourself at risk.

Think ahead. What's your "dangerous zone"? Is it weekends? Stress at work? When you are home alone?

Plan long-term, but take one day at a time, don't overwhelm yourself with questions and doubts. Somehow everything's gonna be ok, once you are sober.

Hang in here. It a great place of support and understanding.

Best wishes to you. Take care and keep posting.

Junegirl

Bella,

I'm doing it pretty much on my, "with a little help from my friends" at SR and tools from the SMART Recovery website. As someone said above, AA isn't the only place in town. I'd recommend doing a lot of reading and setting up your plan. I really think having some strategies in place will help you get there. Keep reading and keep posting.

Take care,

June

raku

Although I have had 6 years of sobriety in my past, I'm on day 5 as well....I've had erratic sleep in these 5 days, like staying up all last night ! Night #1 I had the worst nightmare in my whole 60 years ! I got over it ! Not nice however, and the effect of the nightmare lasted a day & a half. Not nice, but overcome-able !
But that's normal for me to stay up all night & write or read, usually once every week or two, when sober. My experience has been that I can de-tox and manage about 5 weeks with no support except SR.
I now have a counselor, an appt scheduled for Monday, occasionally go to AA (good for me as a social outlet, but the dogma gets in my way too much to be a solid single support), studying AVRT and applying it, and most importantly, meditating when I feel my mind asking for a drink. I practice letting the thought "go" on a regular hourly basis sometimes.
A plan of some sort, after de-tox, in my experience, is crucial...even if for a start it's "what will I do when I have a craving ?" Call someone who cares & understands that I am going thro' a tough time & just talk, jog, visit SR, journal, stay in the moment of the activity I am in, pet the Cat, figure out where's the next AA meeting (you don't have to even say anything ! Just sit & Listen), avoid people who upset me, do Anything that brings me happiness, any or all of the above !
Then I find I need to set up a plan for regulated support (One does not make it alone !) Such as every morning I will read from say, "Daily Reflections" or The Big Book, or the Bible, or any inspirational book. And say, every evening I will go to an AA meeting or an on-line support meeting of LifeRing or to church. And/Or, every week I will have an appt with my therapist. After deciding, from my personalized list, which activities have proven success for me, I make a commitment and do it !
So how you holding up today ?

raku

hypochondriac

Have you looked into AVRT before Bellasue? That basically works on the premise that many people have managed to quit drinking without the need for a recovery plan per say. They do however propose you make a 'big plan', which is a plan in itself I guess.

I think the question of a plan can mean as little or as much as it needs to be for you. In the AVRT suggestion the plan is just not to drink again. Any other issue such as emotional issues, mental health, housing, marriages or jobs are seen as entirely separate to the not drinking plan. AA perhaps takes a more holistic approach and tries to fix you as well as maintaining the whole not drinking thing. Methods like SMART have tools to help you not drink and again the emotional side of it is not really addressed...

I think people advice having a plan because so many of us decided not to drink anymore and ended up drunk again. I know I did which is why the explanation offered in AVRT for this helped me so much, and the moral support here offered me inspiration and motivation. Much in the same way AA does for others.

So I guess the question is just what do you need to help you stay sober? I liked the AVRT approach but found it emotionally void so used SR as a support. I truly believe I wouldn't be sober right now without this place. I have used AA and other types of support as and when I felt I needed them. You can make it up as you go along if you like but others work better with the structure offered in meetings. I think it is important to just do whatever you have to do to stay sober x

ReadyAtLast

AA isn't the only option. I tried it years ago and it isn't for me.That's not denying it's a great help for thousands of people but it isn't the only way.

I read about AVRT -Rational Recovery by Trimpney-google it or you can get the book off Amazon. It's about stopping drinking by separating you who doesn't want to drink and your ' beast' who wants to drink.

Since quitting my life has improved immensely and as I go along I'm growing and learning all the time-about positive thinking,mindfulness, trying to be a better person, lessjudgmental, more understanding, less angry and all the other resentments I had. Suppose the growing and development action mirrors the AA steps as in personal growth but not in a structured group/sponsor way. I did not know this would happen- maybe it's just personal growth as a result of feeling better.

There are also SMART meetings if you prefer group meetings,LIFEring,Women inSobriety (assuming you're female )

I never feel alone because of SR without which Iwould not be sober today

mecanix

Hey Bellasue ,

For me i haven't done any specific program , i've read some of the big book of AA online . I've gleaned a bit here about RR and AVRT .
In the past i have been a bit of a self-help avid reader , also i've read some of the Major religeous works , including whistons' Favius Josephus and the Qu'ran (modern translation) the jefferson bible .

My program consists of not drinking whatever happens then trying to make my life as sweet, nice and glorious as possible, loving life without clinging and grasping when good things end , letting go of stuff in a timely manner and living in freedom

Elegant simplicity apeals to me

Good luck , m

zalfa

I didn't detox on my own, I went to a detox for 9 days.

After that though it's been all alone. Except for a few things. I live with my dad, who is also a recovering alcoholic. I come here sometimes too. I tried AA for the first couple months but it didn't work with me.

Now I'm almost 15 months sober and I'm doing it mostly alone. A lot of people can't do it alone though.

mecanix

How could i forget !

all my brothers and sisters in recovery and working at it at SR are a huge bit of my journey ,
thank you all

Bestwishes, m

Imabuleva

I would recommend picking up a hobby that is borderline impossible to pursue if you drink at all and especially if you drink in excess.

Efficient exercise to get in shape comes to mind. Studying physics, history, engineering, math, anything that you've studied in the past that you found to be interesting. I like physics because it tries to explain everything =P.

If you can't think of anything, I would put yourself in situations that aren't familiar drink territory until you are comfortable saying no to available alcohol. If you don't want to go to AA, I would use rational recovery (AVRT), SMART meetings, any of the plethora of books available on alcoholism, and/or this very forum to supplement your new found or rekindled sober hobbies.

bigsombrero

I was going to say that I've made it without help, but that's not true. I spent time in a treatment center to get me started. That included daily classes, lectures, peer support, and an introduction to AA. I followed up with AA in the first couple months along with addiction therapy (3 times).

So...nope, I didn't do it alone. However, I have spent most of the past year living in areas where there is no AA or other support groups. I pretty much stopped going to AA altogether, have not been in 4 months. I have spent time here on SR in both good times and bad, and it's really helped me. I'd have to say that online support is my go-to method and my primary resource. So, perhaps you can also do this "on your own" as well.

That said, the most important part of being sober for this first year, in my opinion, was to immerse myself at the start. I would recommend a very strict and thorough examination of what "recovery" means. And intense learning about this disease. Alcoholics tend to be fairly smart and know how to work around and solve problems - but this is not the case with alcoholism. You need to get grounded, you need to learn respect for this condition, because it really is no joke. You need to change your entire lifestyle, your habits, friends, everything. Doing it "alone" is not impossible, but if you do decide that is your route, I will tell you that it is a lot of work. There is no "easy way" to get clean and continue to live clean. Good luck.

Anna

Bellasue, there are many ways to stop drinking and recover. I used a few great books and then found SR where I have been for many years. I think it depends on your motivation.

But, one thing I know for sure is that stopping drinking is not the whole solution. It's the beginning of the journey.

Eleni58

I detoxed on my own. I was all alone for 5 days before I completely quit almost 2 days ago. After 13 years of heavy, daily drinking, I am proud to say that the only symptoms I had were insomnia, a slight headache and a tiny bit of shaking. I did not go cold turkey, however..I tapered down until I was down to one drink. But tapering doesn't work for everyone. I still plan on going to AA. And I had a tremendous amount of support from friends and family via telephone.

Dee74

Hi Bellasue

Like others have said there's many ways to stay sober - SR helped me enormously in that

But a plan? Everyone needs a plan IMO.

you will want to drink again - you will face stresses where the first coping strategy your brain will think of is drinking...you will face social occasions where you will be expected to drink...

you need to think about those scenarios and be prepared for them - have plans for dealing with cravings, and stress, and social occasions...

find a support network of people you can call or talk to or otherwise count on.

Be ready to fight for your recovery

D

Bellasue

Thank you everyone for your responses. I will do some research on all of these different methods. Fortunately, my family is supportive and caring.

I'm feeling so much better and clearer being sober, even if it is only 5 days. I enjoy waking up in the morning feeling good instead of all over lousy.

We'll see what tonight brings--I don't mind staying awake late, but last night I admit I did think "gee a drink would really help me relax."

And the dreams......let's just say if there's no orange VW convertible bug in my dreams tonight, I'll be a happy girl.

((((hugs all))))

EndGameNYC

My recovery depended on my doing several things I didn't like doing. That's what sober people do.

No way in hell I could do this on my own. Not gonna happen. Only postpones the inevitable.

Every time I've dismissed help from others out-of-hand ("It's not for me. I can do this on my own. I don't need anyone's help. I'm uncomfortable doing X, Y, Z."), nothing good came of it.

None of us chooses sobriety because we're experts at making sound decisions. Among much else, I forfeit my ability to grow in wisdom while I'm drinking, and while I engage in a life-and-death struggle on my own.