Toss

Hello fellow travelers,

I haven't been around for a while, decided to take a break from the site - just a quick update.

I have been sober a little over nine months and the hard part begins. This is the time where I have broken the pattern in the past, unfortunately I have not really replaced it with any activity. I stay plenty busy, but wanting to escape life through alcohol has infected me. I have had plenty of opportunities to drink over the last month - vacation with friends in another city and guest at our house this past week. Neither of these friends drink heavily, but I could have used the visits as an excuse to drink one beer. But it never is one and when the thoughts enter my mind, I tell the beast his act is old.

It's hard to be so strong when I feel so weak. I'm not unhappy, just adrift. This phase will end soon, just taking it one day at a time.

Anyway, just wanted to drop in and say hi and I hope everyone is well and staying strong.

Toss

Dee74

It's good to hear from you Toss - maybe checking in here can help keep you a little more grounded?

It certainly does me

D

Toss

Hi Dee,

I go in spurts, just getting on tonight has helped. I am strong with my plan, it just needs to be reinforced at this moment.

Mizzuno

Toss, I am happy to see you. Congrats on your sober time. It's good to see that you are doing well. I hope that you start to come around more often. Keep on keeping on!!

EndGameNYC

Now is not the time to despair. You can do that any time.

Nine months is a long time. It's only natural that you'd feel vulnerable.

Save your despair for each time you've relapsed, a reminder of what's in store for you if you turn back. Better days await you.

Coldfusion

Hi Toss,

I'm also just coming up on nine months.

I try to check in here at SR once a day, and at least sign in to the 24-hour club.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4090689

There is also always inspiration in the various forums here.

I don't exactly know what summers are like where you are, but around here people go a little crazy. I can offer several specific examples including myself a year ago, but it is interesting now to watch how much of the drama is started by alcohol.

I hope to see you back, at least to check in at one year!

mecanix

Coming up to they year on the horizon held some difficulties for me ( my AV's last hurrah ) It died then, i hope, as i've not heard from it since , i just see it's ghost once in a while .

Bestwishes, m

Toss

Thanks for the responses, I love the positive vibe, just what I needed, it means alot.

Hi Mizz, good to see you, hope you are doing well!

Endgame, I love "Save your despair", great phrase. I have saved it over the years and I have plenty to burn. I never want to go back to those dark, cold periods of my life. I feel now, and I am starting to accept that I cannot always be perfect, that I can cut myself some slack.

ColdFusion, thanks for the thread reference, I intend to reinforce my recovery by visiting more often, I have missed SR lately.

mecanix, funny you said your AV died (or you hoped). I felt for many months that mine had withered away, but the last few months have been stressful (it's called life) and that pumped a few puffs of breathe into it. But the last few weeks has made me realize that I have control over the AV and when it decides to check in, I can handle it.

Toss

ImperfectlyMe

Hey toss glad your back! I did something similar recently stayed away from SR because I was becoming complacent with sobriety. I like you stayed very busy and very sober but life wasn't improving! I started to feel angry toward my sobriety question everything. But now that I'm back at SR my resolve to live soberly has been recharged couple days shy of 16 weeks! Keep coming back you have a lot of wisdom and craving control to share with all of us

BabyJane

Glad you are back! I'm coming up on 9 months too. I've relapsed at 9 a couple times. Seems like I get very .... Well I don't know exactly but my recovery always hits major potholes at this time! Gotta be vigilant and stay on our game! Thank you for being here and thank you for the post.