Not sure what to do anymore !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 1
Not sure what to do anymore !
Im married now since 11 years to my husband and knew right away that he was a addict since he was a teen . He was not using when we met cause he was in the Army and there was no way he could use anything. So after 5 years of being in the Army he got out and one year after that he had an accident at work in wich he fractured his hip and now he has really bad back problems. His Doctor would prescribe him all kinds of pain medication wich of course caused him to relapse . About 2 years ago i noticed that his pills would be gone in a few short days and at the same time we started to have money problems . I didnt really put it all together or better i was in total denial .
So about 4 month ago i noticed more and more things being gone in the house and i found pawn tickets wich made me really mad and when i asked him about it he said its because we need it for bills. I was so stupid cause i let him handle all our bills and everything .This is when i started to make my own account and my mother in law told me too that she gave him all kinds of money.
Well we cut him off with our money and he started to make a credit on the car and pawn like there is now tomorrow.
1 1/2 weeks ago the repo man picked up our only car and he decided finally after some pushing to go to detox and rehab .
Last Sunday was his first day and i didnt talk to him till yesterday , hea called to let me now he is done with detox and will move into rehab today.
Well all this didnt happen cause 3 hours ago he called to let me now they had to bring him to the hospital cause his heart beat was getting way to low. Of course i said i will come by cause who knows what can happen , they told me he will stay a few more days but the way it looks its just a reaction to one of the meds they gave him in detox.
I was in the hospital with my mother in law and everything was okay for the first 15min till he wanted to use one of our cell phones so he can look something up . We left them in the car so he ask his mom to get hers but she said no and thats when he had a fit almost out of the blue about he is gonna leave right now and to hell with everything .
Well his mom went out of the room and i was able to get him back in bed and i left too.
Here is my question , should i go back and see him again in the hospital or not?
This last week was so horrible for me , its like im stuck in this nightmare ! One moment i feel okay , the next moment im crying my eyes out . So many things to think about cause he went to rehab and i sit here with nothing . Other moments i miss him and 5 sec later i wish him to hell and back.
At least our 10 year old son is not here since the last few weeks but he will back soon and what will i tell him ?
I already looked in my city so i could go to meetings myself and get some help but there is nothing
So about 4 month ago i noticed more and more things being gone in the house and i found pawn tickets wich made me really mad and when i asked him about it he said its because we need it for bills. I was so stupid cause i let him handle all our bills and everything .This is when i started to make my own account and my mother in law told me too that she gave him all kinds of money.
Well we cut him off with our money and he started to make a credit on the car and pawn like there is now tomorrow.
1 1/2 weeks ago the repo man picked up our only car and he decided finally after some pushing to go to detox and rehab .
Last Sunday was his first day and i didnt talk to him till yesterday , hea called to let me now he is done with detox and will move into rehab today.
Well all this didnt happen cause 3 hours ago he called to let me now they had to bring him to the hospital cause his heart beat was getting way to low. Of course i said i will come by cause who knows what can happen , they told me he will stay a few more days but the way it looks its just a reaction to one of the meds they gave him in detox.
I was in the hospital with my mother in law and everything was okay for the first 15min till he wanted to use one of our cell phones so he can look something up . We left them in the car so he ask his mom to get hers but she said no and thats when he had a fit almost out of the blue about he is gonna leave right now and to hell with everything .
Well his mom went out of the room and i was able to get him back in bed and i left too.
Here is my question , should i go back and see him again in the hospital or not?
This last week was so horrible for me , its like im stuck in this nightmare ! One moment i feel okay , the next moment im crying my eyes out . So many things to think about cause he went to rehab and i sit here with nothing . Other moments i miss him and 5 sec later i wish him to hell and back.
At least our 10 year old son is not here since the last few weeks but he will back soon and what will i tell him ?
I already looked in my city so i could go to meetings myself and get some help but there is nothing
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I think it would be a good time to take your son and keep some space between you and his father.
If he heads for rehab, great, you can plan from there.
If he continues using, it's just not a good environment for any child and no picnic for you either.
My heart and prayers go out for you and your boy...and for your husband too.
Hugs
If he heads for rehab, great, you can plan from there.
If he continues using, it's just not a good environment for any child and no picnic for you either.
My heart and prayers go out for you and your boy...and for your husband too.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome.....
I'm sorry to hear of the struggles you are experiencing. Everyone here on SR understands what it's like to love some who is addicted.
If you were looking for Nar-Anon meetings, there aren't a lot of them around anywhere (except it seems where I am because I have four to choose from!!). Many people go to Al-Anon or CoDA as the programs are very similar and you'll find others there who are going to those meetings for the same reason as you are.
There are other ways to help with facing this issue:
Addiction is referred to as a family disease because it not only affects the addict but also everyone around them. We need help too.
There is also a lot of support right here on SR.
If I could pick one single thing that has helped me, it was learning that I needed to take care of myself first. Not in a selfish way, but in a healthy, self love sort of way. When we make decisions and choose reactions that are healthy for ourselves first......things improve.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
I'm sorry to hear of the struggles you are experiencing. Everyone here on SR understands what it's like to love some who is addicted.
If you were looking for Nar-Anon meetings, there aren't a lot of them around anywhere (except it seems where I am because I have four to choose from!!). Many people go to Al-Anon or CoDA as the programs are very similar and you'll find others there who are going to those meetings for the same reason as you are.
There are other ways to help with facing this issue:
- Private counseling
- Family programs at the rehab he'll be going into
- Reading-there are some great books out there!
Addiction is referred to as a family disease because it not only affects the addict but also everyone around them. We need help too.
There is also a lot of support right here on SR.
If I could pick one single thing that has helped me, it was learning that I needed to take care of myself first. Not in a selfish way, but in a healthy, self love sort of way. When we make decisions and choose reactions that are healthy for ourselves first......things improve.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
