Erratic

After only 2 weeks i had a drink I have been trying since to keep it under control. Next week my husband is on holiday so i wont be able to drink, so i guess from tomo i will have to stop again.

I do want to stop i have just found it really hard and im pissed off with myself in keeping up this secret drinking which i have been doing.

So i guess from tomo it will be day 1 again. sry if this triggers any early non drinkers.

xx

Pamel

We kind of have a "relapse-Day 1" thread going here if you would like to join:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...g-so-over.html

visch1

"I do want to stop i have just found it really hard and im pissed off with myself in keeping up this secret drinking which i have been doing."

Most success in getting sober is achieved in WANTING TO. Being honest with ourselves is also a needed ingredient. Another thing that seems to be necessary for long term sobriety is to want to get sober for #1- ourselves. Usually not what we want to hear but the truth. BE WELL

MythOfSisyphus

It's not the end of the world! You don't fail when you fall, you fail when you don't get back up again. Look at what triggered your lapse and analyze why you stumbled. Use that information to do better next time!

heath480

Don't take that first drink,it helped me in my early days to think it was only the one drink I wasn't having.

Controlled drinking never worked for me in the long run.It might work for a while,then I was back to as bad as ever,the entire time I was obsessed with thoughts of drinking.

Make staying sober your top priority and I wish you well.You can do it.

ananias

Don't sabotage yourself! You can do it just put it down. I always found I would take that first drink for all the other drinks after it. I didn't want to stop because I want to get drunk. I don't what's changed or if it really is but i feel different. Be honest with yourself and once you can do that maybe you will be able to see both the parts you think are good about drinking and the many craptastical things.

Sorry I don't feel like I'm being much help. NightHawk once said to me that maybe I just wasn't done...I didn't get it. They were right and what was the most frustrating for me was but how do I get there? I read a lot of books about drinking...I thought a lot about my drinking and my life and yesterday I just couldn't do it anymore. I looked half a bottle of vodka down the drain. I never would have thought I could do that. When I read about people pouring out there alcohol I could get it. The old me would have said yeah I want to quit so I'll finish this bottle off and then I'll quit tomorrow. Ha. Do some work on you and think about how miserable you are. You don't have to do it anymore. You can be different if you want it.

Erratic

Thanks everyone for your replies, i will take a look at what happened and will take the step in starting to give up again.

I know its important not to take that first drink and i shouldn't of.

I guess bring on tomorrow and day 1 again.

Thanks all again xx

Nuudawn

Hi Erractic. Sorry you're struggling. I'm afraid that the best way to keep my drinking "under control" is none at all. I'm sure you know that right. Giving up alcohol isn't easy or there would be no AA, SR, Smart Recovery etc etc. People literally die trying. I'm curious if you thought about posting BEFORE you picked up that drink? When in the throes of emotional chaos that leads to picking up is precisely when you need support...that's when and where the magic can happen. Don't hide from support too. Stop drinking alone and let someone in to help you.

Dee74

welcome back erratic

D

Anna

Welcome back - learn from what happened and move on.

Pamel

Erractic, it is going to be another (sigh) Day 1 for me again. Got through most of the day and gave in to the glass of wine.

The only thing I know now is to keep coming back, and not just trying, but committing. Do I know how to do this? Obviously not, but I haven't given up.

ananias

You can do this...keep searching! What you are looking for isn't in that bottle.

Soberpotamus

Welcome back, just try to figure out what happened and learn from that... moving forward armed with new knowledge, and perhaps a better recovery plan. Glad you are here