DisplacedGRITS

I swear, sometimes my alcoholic thinking screws me in my sober life. Everything's been going really well except for one little thing. I've been letting my power bill lapse and i didn't tell my husband. Our monthly expenses went up because we had to buy a new car and our insurance went up too. Not an expensive car but we were on a shoestring budget. I'd lost my new job because of getting busted at work. So, instead of tightening up the food budget and forgoing a few fun activities, i decided to put off paying the power bill until i got a new job. Smart thinking, right? Well, just got a new job but not in time. I get home today and the power's off. I called the power company and they want more money than i have. My husband comes home and my whole house of cards comes falling down. All because i was thinking selfishly with my alcoholic thinking.

Well, i humbled myself and my MIL bailed me out. Unfortunately, the power company can't connect my power until tomorrow so we got to spend the evening rustic style and called in a pizza. My husband is disappointed with me but not mad. Irritated but not totally pissed. I'm upset with myself but i'm taking this as a lesson. I've got to get my act together. I knew i was making bad decisions but i kept feeding that AV that told me i could get away with it. Well, i can't. My bad decisions always catch up to me. I'm grateful that tonight is blessedly cool (hooray Wisconsin!) And we're physically comfortable. I just really felt like confessing here.

So, i'm proof that you can live sober but if you're still letting your alcoholic thinking do the decision making, you're gonna have a bad time. Sobriety isn't just about not drinking, y'all. There's a lot more to it than that. So if you're not drinking and your life is still screwy, make sure you address sobriety as a whole, not just as a physical change. Take care of yourself and do the right thing.

Grungehead

LOL Grits!

(not laughing at you but with you)

I'm a bad procrastinator and once had the power cut off with 20K in my bank account (and I was sober at the time). Stinkin' thinkin' is still stinkin' thinkin' whether you are sober or drunk.

visch1

OMG you give me a remember when, I had many similar things like the tire doesn't look that low, should make it there on the gas in the tank, don't need to close the windows going to work as the forecast is usually wrong and on and on. I think part of the problem is alcoholics are generally dishonest with ourselves and undisciplined also. My war cry is that dry is one thing but getting sober is that 4 letter word WORK and is what leads us into being the people we want to be, for 1 thing comfortable in our own skin. BE WELL

bigsombrero

Why is your husband upset with you? Did you lie to him and tell him you paid the bill? He lives there too, after all. Good for you for getting a new job, you should be proud of yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much, going a day without lights and TV isn't the end of the world. Keep things in perspective - a sober night without electricity is much better than any alternative involving alcohol!

Lionhearted1

I don't think it has anything to do with be an addict.....Its just part of being human and imperfect we don't always make the right decisions alcoholic or not!

wpainterw

Displaced: Congratulations on getting your act together. What I'd worry about is whether something inside my brain was playing tricks, creating confusion in my personal life in order to build up tension so as to be able to resume drinking. Sometimes it's best to keep a sharp lookout for hidden traps, try to keep things in order so as not to get spooked by some unexpected crisis. Suppose, for example, that there had been a heat wave and due to the power outage you might have spent a miserable evening. Would you be setting yourself up for "just one" drink to "cool off"? Relapses seem to thrive on confused situations.

W.