A Long Dark Road
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ripples nb
Posts: 1
A Long Dark Road
I'm Terry-Lynn, a mother of 4 beautiful healthy children.
I've struggled with drugs and alcohol since age 12, but being in an abusive relationship for almost 10 yrs and having no breaks or time for myself not even once a month and life in general was not on my side,
I strongly believe had driven me to drug use, a way to escape from it all and not have to deal. Having 3 kids then and trying to keep my mommy face just wasn't working, trying to support my everyday habit after thinking I wouldn't get hooked on it and I could limit myself well I had a lot of sick days, and could not let them see me sick all the time. I eventually left my family, but would visit as often as I could. I had to make that heartbreaking decision or child protection would have stepped in. My drug of choice was opiates, but my wild side liked cocaine and alcohol. Living a reckless life feeling like you have no purpose is a horrible lifestyle that I have etched in my brain. My children is all I could see before I closed my eyes at night and when I opened them whatever time a day it was when I slept or rested up. I knew I had to smarten up and get raising my kids so I had to say over and over "Do I want to live or die?"
So I made myself quit cocaine cause it scared me too much, and alcohol made me sick too much, I care for my body and need my organs.So I made myself get on the methadone program after a 4 year wait, and started getting stable. My current boyfriend was with me every step of the way, he is my rock. My children mean too much to me to be wasting my life away, so I stuck with the program and made sure I was not giving up or being a failure again, I had great faith. I'll have 7 yrs clean in November and my kids have had a healthy atmosphere and environment since and. I am grateful for the power I know that is within me and strength that got me through this life changing eye opener
I've struggled with drugs and alcohol since age 12, but being in an abusive relationship for almost 10 yrs and having no breaks or time for myself not even once a month and life in general was not on my side,
I strongly believe had driven me to drug use, a way to escape from it all and not have to deal. Having 3 kids then and trying to keep my mommy face just wasn't working, trying to support my everyday habit after thinking I wouldn't get hooked on it and I could limit myself well I had a lot of sick days, and could not let them see me sick all the time. I eventually left my family, but would visit as often as I could. I had to make that heartbreaking decision or child protection would have stepped in. My drug of choice was opiates, but my wild side liked cocaine and alcohol. Living a reckless life feeling like you have no purpose is a horrible lifestyle that I have etched in my brain. My children is all I could see before I closed my eyes at night and when I opened them whatever time a day it was when I slept or rested up. I knew I had to smarten up and get raising my kids so I had to say over and over "Do I want to live or die?" So I made myself quit cocaine cause it scared me too much, and alcohol made me sick too much, I care for my body and need my organs.So I made myself get on the methadone program after a 4 year wait, and started getting stable. My current boyfriend was with me every step of the way, he is my rock. My children mean too much to me to be wasting my life away, so I stuck with the program and made sure I was not giving up or being a failure again, I had great faith. I'll have 7 yrs clean in November and my kids have had a healthy atmosphere and environment since and. I am grateful for the power I know that is within me and strength that got me through this life changing eye opener 
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Terry - welcome to SR!!! My DOC (drug of choice) was MORE!! I abused alcohol, then quit it. I was with a bf who I "drank to keep up or put up with) for 20 years. I then went to opiates, quit them when I got busted on my job. I then got totally addicted to crack but I have over 6 years in recovery.
Congratulations on 7 years!!! I think recovery makes all the difference. We see who we used to be, and all the loved ones who also suffered, and we make ourselves better and our relationships better because we KNOW what we could have lost.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Congratulations on 7 years!!! I think recovery makes all the difference. We see who we used to be, and all the loved ones who also suffered, and we make ourselves better and our relationships better because we KNOW what we could have lost.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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