xkerryx

Well this is the first time I've done this but I definitely need the support.

Basically... my boyfriend is a cocaine addict. Well and truly stuck on it. Everything came to a head this weekend... He beat his dad up then harmed himself as he couldn't get any money to get any. He eventually got some, but was such a mess he just wasn't on the planet. The next day he was fairly calm and obviously felt bad about what he did. He started clucking, trying to get money money from me... I ignored him. By 9 at night I had a voicemail with him crying... by 10 he kicked off again. Police and paramedics were called.. it took an hour and a half to get him out of a panic attack. ( I didn't even know what had happened till the next morning). He is now at his brothers where he has no access to drink, drugs, money or a car.

The initial plan (although it's day by day) is to get him through withdrawal and hope he will check himself in.I won't see him till Saturday ( a week since I last saw him) although he has asked me to go, purely because I now need to be strong for us both and so he has no access to my money or car (he is very manipulative). I know this is for the best and I miss him so much, but it's so hard. this isn't my boyfriend, a cocaine monster has taken him over. How long does withdrawal last? Is there anyone else that has stuck by their partner through this process??

Yogagurl

Hi xkerryx-

Welcome to SR. I'm sorry about the circumstances that have brought you here, but please know that you will find a lot of very useful information here as emotional support.
To address your question above, yes, I have experience with cocaine addiction first hand. I have used cocaine in the past, however, I have quit with no desire to use again. I just plain don't like the way it makes me feel. My husband, on the other hand, is a full blown cocaine addict (crack cocaine). Cocaine is cocaine, whether its free base or not. If your boyfriend is currently using cocaine in its powder form, there are chances that he will try it in its rock form, so I believe my experience is applicable in this case.

Here goes: about 3 months into my relationship with my husband, while we were still only dating, I found out he was using cocaine. A couple of weeks later, I found out he was using crack cocaine. He stole from me, pawned, lied, disappeared, yelled, etc. for 8 months of very steady, very hard cocaine use. He was CONSUMED by it. Every day. Stopped working. Stopped doing anything, but cocaine.

Nov 2011, he blows up a truck and almost dies. Nov 2011-Jul 2012, he is clean from drugs and alcohol. He is spiritually awakened and has a new appreciation of life. He is reformed. June 2012, we marry. July 2012, he starts smoking crack again. It is July 2013 and I have just moved out of our home and am staying with a friend. You wanna know about cocaine addiction, read my threads. You wanna know what to do? Get away from him.

story74

I understand you want to be there for him and are a good person. But, I don't think he sounds safe or stable. Are you willing to give yourself to helping him MAYBE become sober? The road with an addict is treacherous...to say the least.

I would say goodbye and go no contact. This is his own battle to deal with.

Many blessings on what you decide. I know and understand it is hard.

phalaen

Dear xkerryx,

I have been involved in a very tumultuous relationship with an addict (opiates, not crack/cocaine) for the last year now. He swept me off my feet; I fell madly in love with him. Once he began living with me, however, he pretty much took me for everything I had - spiritually, emotionally, and financially - I even then still wasn't able to get away from him. Only now am I waking up and seeing the futility in the situation. Yours actually sounds even worse. I know it is REALLY hard but you've got to get away from him. It is not worth standing by him for anything. Only he can make himself better. He has to want it. You are imprisoning yourself by staying in a relationship with someone as toxic as this individual clearly is.