Is It Him? What Do You Think?
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 136
Is It Him? What Do You Think?
Hi All:
I'm the one with the exA who still not sure if Alcohol is causing his abuse. I think he was at the property again. I came home last night and found cat locked in the barn, scared & thirsty but okay. Then I have 6 little wreath markers for the 6 pets I lost over the years & on each one I hung their collar. The one had a real pretty ceramic ornament attached that ex had actually bought. Guess what that marker & only that one knocked over, broken & chain & ornament gone--no where anywhere on property. Two weeks ago bird feeder goes missing in action, 2 weeks before that 4 patio bricks overturned & phone calls from strangers requesting to speak to his ex family members, brochures from churches in other states about being a sinner mailed to me & a horse being let loose with the gate shut & locked behind him. But the best one. . .Last Feb my bank account puts my account on hold because a man calls with my social security number and tells them I'm deceased. So is the broken wreath him on my property again? What's the verdict. . Hoping to hear the votes & also is this the actions of an addict or personality disordered person? I am still so baffled. Not knowing whether I truly don't know what caused this man to change suddenly 5 years ago or god forbid am I nuts or paranoid--too many coincidents.
I'm the one with the exA who still not sure if Alcohol is causing his abuse. I think he was at the property again. I came home last night and found cat locked in the barn, scared & thirsty but okay. Then I have 6 little wreath markers for the 6 pets I lost over the years & on each one I hung their collar. The one had a real pretty ceramic ornament attached that ex had actually bought. Guess what that marker & only that one knocked over, broken & chain & ornament gone--no where anywhere on property. Two weeks ago bird feeder goes missing in action, 2 weeks before that 4 patio bricks overturned & phone calls from strangers requesting to speak to his ex family members, brochures from churches in other states about being a sinner mailed to me & a horse being let loose with the gate shut & locked behind him. But the best one. . .Last Feb my bank account puts my account on hold because a man calls with my social security number and tells them I'm deceased. So is the broken wreath him on my property again? What's the verdict. . Hoping to hear the votes & also is this the actions of an addict or personality disordered person? I am still so baffled. Not knowing whether I truly don't know what caused this man to change suddenly 5 years ago or god forbid am I nuts or paranoid--too many coincidents.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Get a restraining order and look up the term "gaslighting" in regards to abuse and personality disorders.
Once he's at this point, YOU need to proceed at though you are in danger. He does not respect your privacy or boundaries, and that is a danger to you, your animals, and your property.
Once he's at this point, YOU need to proceed at though you are in danger. He does not respect your privacy or boundaries, and that is a danger to you, your animals, and your property.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Seriously, act now, reflect later. All the intellectualization is a way of putting off the hard work of change. It doesn't matter what his diagnosis is -- that's between him and a doctor -- what maters is that he is targeting you for abuse, it's escalating, and it's not okay or acceptable by any means.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 136
I wish I had the money for a security camera but all tapped out from the divorce. Never able to get restraining order because I can never prove it's him. Police would laugh if I called & told them someone stole my bird feeders & although they were involved with someone calling me in deceased--their response--no proof & nothing stolen. I just cannot understand the anger a year later. Is this common after you divorce an A?
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Originally Posted by bless5 
Get the restraining order but then, a Deer camera can catch them on camera. Put up several if you need to!
If you take a pic to the police of this guy on YOUR property (who isn't allowed there) you've got pretty much a slam dunk case of trespassing at the very least AND more likely than not, you'll be able to prove that he was indeed the ass that tried to freeze your acct among other things.
Go to wildgamesinnovation.com. They have some really nice game cams.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 494
I just cannot understand the anger a year later. Is this common after you divorce an A?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
.Last Feb my bank account puts my account on hold because a man calls with my social security number and tells them I'm deceased.
This is law breaking.
Start getting proof.
Whoever called you in deceased, there is a record of that.
Cameras are much cheaper than you think. Check online you will find amazing prices.
Protect yourself.
Ask DNS if you can get one of their motion cameras, you think you saw a wolverine!
(Okay, I guess that would work in Michigan.)
The anger will stay with him as long as he can blame you for his problems.
As long as he drinks, he can stay mad.
Get a restraining order. Get a gamecam. You will have proof.
He sounds ill and he is getting worse.
Time to let him know you run your life, not him.
Beth
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