quitforme79

And I don't know how to "snap" out of it. I have been going to meetings, talking about it, crying about it. Romancing a drink way too much. I won't do it. I know I have to feel this pain I feel right now but I hate it. It's really wearing me down. I don't know how many more days or weeks or months I will feel like this for. I recently had a break up and some family drama but NOTHING that terrible to send me into this tailspin. I laid on my floor and just kept praying this morning. I feel lost and alone even though I am not. I don't want to do anything. I am still taking action as I posted on here the other day but it's getting more difficult to take care of myself. WTF is wrong with me??!!

awuh1

Sounds like events may have set off depression. Perhaps you could benefit from treatment.

Louise82

I hear you, quitforme79. Knowing you have to sit with the pain but hating it. There are times when we can't snap out of it no matter what we try; we really have to sit with it, knowing we'll be stronger for it when we finally come out the other side. Know that we're here for you on SR, as is your support network in AA.

However, if you start thinking it may be depression, as awuh1 suggests, that is a treatable medical condition. See your GP with any such concerns.

teardrop

i also think it sounds like depression, get some medication from your doctor

visch1

Hi. I know for me that stopping drinking was not enough tho I didn't go through your present dilemma. I needed to get active with my group by making coffee, going on commitmentS, chairing many beginners meetings and what I feared the most do a through self inventory that I could at the time. Recovery varies with the individual and takes TIME. Hated that word but KEPT COMING. BE WELL

Jsober

Nothing is wrong with you. It sounds like you are just feeling the normal reaction to loss. It's one of the valleys of life. I thinks it very admirable that you are still taking action- going to meetings etc. When I am low that is a tough one for me but I know that that is the time to work harder. This low will pass- feel it and be patient.

mecanix

Sometimes helping others brings me out of myself .

There is lots to do and see , to mend and try , to make and create

The glory of nature , watching wild animals and plants always stuns me

Maybe you got a bit of depression hanging about ?

Bestwishes, m

Bombadil

Sounds like depression. I've suffered from it for a few years too, and still do. There doesn't necessarily need to be a trigger. It can just creep up on you and you feel hopelessness, futility and despair for no identifiable reason. I'd recommend talking to your doctor.

How's your diet? If you're not getting adequate nutrition (all your vitamins and all that jazz), it can really affect your mindset.

I'm only on my third day of sobriety, so I'm no authority, but depression seems a lot easier to deal with when you're not hungover. A relapse would be the worst possible move you could make right now.

Hope you get it sorted soon. All the best.

Dee74

hi quit - sometimes little things can set off great waves of emotion in us....maybe as others have suggested it might be good to see your Dr - it may be depression, it may not, but at least you'd know then, yeah?

D

quitforme79

Thank you all very much for your replies. I feel depressed but it's only been like this for about 2 weeks so if it passes soon it could just be the grief process I am going through. Or all the emotions I have to still deal with now that I am sober. I am going back to therapy but not until next Monday. I am sure she will evaluate me. I don't do well on antidepressants, they actually make me feel suicidal but therapy has always helped me. Someone above said I will be stronger or feel better once I come out on the other side. I am hanging onto that hope right now, thank you all again

Mizzuno

Hi quit.

I know that you have been going through a lot lately. I recognize myself in your post. I just wanted you to know that I understand where you are. I hope that it gets better soon. Hang in there quit. The sun is shining.

quitforme79

Thank you mizzuno xoxo

bigsombrero

Sounds like some tough times - sorry to hear it. My first year has been full of some amazing moments of clarity and some deep battles and low points. As others have said, quitting drinking isn't everything, it's merely the first step in totally redefining your character.

You talked about a break-up. Maybe its a good idea to step back from romantic relationships? Most alcoholics are advised to wait at least a year, if not longer. Maybe it's time to look under the rug and discover who you really are, underneath everything.

Ptcapote

Hi Quit, sorry you're feeling so low but it probably does have to do with some of the emotions from the recent curveballs you've had to deal with in your life. For me, being an alcoholic for so long meant I didn't process emotions normally (if at all) and so one of the biggest challenges in sobriety has been dealing with that lovely little reality. I think that's what you are saying above too. My first reaction is often still to suppress something until "later" but later comes sooner and with a bigger bite in the ass. It's all a part of healing but it isn't always pleasant. Give yourself some credit for being as strong as you have been and try not to judge the intensity or degree of your feelings right now. You won't drink, and you'll get through this.

Hang in there and try to be gentle with yourself. Feelings are not facts. And they too shall pass

Big hug and lots of good vibes coming your way tonight.

misterritter

Hi quit, from reading your post, it didn't seem like the events you described should necessarily be brushed aside. One side effect, or maybe a reason, that i drank was that i didn't have to deal with feeling bad or experiencing negative feelings. Without the alcohol, i am dealing with them for the first time in a while, and sometimes it sucks. but there has also been an increase of good feelings.

So, it makes sense to me that things that may not have seemed to be much of a big deal before, could be much bigger events emotionally now that the numbing effect of alcohol has worn off. I think you should be easy on yourself and realize its ok to feel bad and it too will pass.

Hope it passes soon for you.

quitforme79

Some really helpful advice here and great stuff to think about. I have decided to stay away from relationships until at least 1 year...after this one that is lol Spoke with my sponser before and she said the same thing as you misterritter...I shouldn't minimize how I am feeling right now. I am going thru a grief process and it's okay to feel sad. But yup, as someone else said on here I used to drink through it all so it seemed to not be such a big deal. Because I wasn't feeling anything! I have had wonderful times in my recovery thus far too...I was thinking this weekend that my new baseline is pretty happy and peaceful. I am grateful for that. I know I will get back to it at some point. Without all of you this would be near impossible. I can really think myself into a dark corner and or another problem!

Soberpotamus

Sorry you are having a tough time lately. It sounds par for the course really. I can relate. I had days, and weeks even, as you've described.

I think it's necessary sometimes to go through all the ups and downs, the whole gamut of feelings. It's probably normal once you get sober to experience things like this. Hang in there. And see a doc/therapist in the meantime if you need to. I know I feel tons better just knowing I can see my therapist and unload every other week... it really helps!

Nighthawk8820

You know, the good lord likes to test the crap out of us, and just when you think you cant take it anymore, the clouds seem to lift and life resumes as normal. I actually had a pretty stressful last few weeks, and I was getting real down. I never thought about using, but I was tired and irritated. Then, BAM, someone talked to me and changed my whole perspective on what was bothering me. Now I am back to feeling great. You will feel good again, but I cant say when for sure, just know it will happen. Hang in there.

quitforme79

I can't wait to unload on mine next week Jennie! lol Thanks nighthawk, I am glad you are feeling great again. I can't wait to get back to that place but know I have to be patient ughhh So funny you say God tests us because I think I learned a really big lesson He has been trying to get me to learn for YEARS. I feel like saying "Okay, I did it, I am uncomfortable but doing the right thing...can I feel better now?"

EndStage

quitforme79, when I read your post I kept thinking, wow ... is this person in my head or what? Than I realized, we all have the same disease. I too hit my lowest point so far in sobriety last week. Drama of life, Romancing the drink, keeping one foot in the door of the past, one foot in the door of the future while pissing on the present ... yeah ... nothing big set me off either, just the roller coaster rides. Figured that I mind as well strap on the resistance bar, lock it in tight, and go for a ride. You are doing great. Keep it up!