Coming out as a 23-year-old alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Posts: 24
Coming out as a 23-year-old alcoholic
It's hard to talk about, and I don't know if society is ready for young people to consider themselves alcoholic.
When I have said aloud "I am an alcoholic" it does not fit the usual profile of a 30-something year old who has had enough of alcohol abuse.
But that doesn't matter, and it's certainly not my story.
When I was 14-years-old I had my first drink from my Uncle. It was a shot Smirnoff vodka. I thought it was disgusting and it felt like I was drowsy on cough medicine. For what ever reason my uncle felt like it was appropriate to give me alcohol. It's a blurred memory.
When I was fifteen, and tried my mothers Captain Morgan rum, I liked the way I couldn't feel my gums. I also liked how when I cut myself, it hurt much less when the rum numbed my skin.
When I was 15-16, I started having sex with strangers who were always willing to supply alcohol. The first time I had sex with a stranger, I was already drunk and other older guys were watching. I don't remember those people, their names, or who they became to be.
Up until I was seventeen, I had sex with many partners, all who would supply with alcohol. A few times I did not have sex but I hazily remember getting molested by faces that draw a blank.
The guilt of this meaningless sex caught up to me so I settled down with one person who was really fond of who I was despite my sexuality.
It was a year into this young relationship that I wanted to impress his buddies by taking shots. I had seven shots in half an hour and was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. Something like .24 BAC.
Since then my libido toned down and I promised not to drink to my parents. For the next four years I continued to illicit alcohol illegally. Never drank moderately but with the sole intention of getting hammered.
Since I have turned 21 I have become a closet alcoholic. And I afforded my liquor by flirting my way into free drinks, and sometimes taking it further than verbal communication.
No one expected a thing. I am going to graduate top 10% of my major in Sociology and I have held down the same job for about three years. Despite my academic successes, I still drink to numb out the upsetting things. My relationships with men have been unsuccessful, mostly due to betrayal that occurred when drinking.
I have decided to get help now because I have been experiencing blacking out. Most of my drinking career I can recall ever embarrassing detail, now I think I have permanent brain damage. Alcohol is not only affecting my relationship with others but now my brain and who knows what else.
I am going to be 25 next year and I don't want to be a alcoholic of ten years.
Age is just a number when it comes to alcoholism and I hope a brief description of my story shows that.
This is my first ever shot at recovery.
I am hear to listen and support and find solace.
When I have said aloud "I am an alcoholic" it does not fit the usual profile of a 30-something year old who has had enough of alcohol abuse.
But that doesn't matter, and it's certainly not my story.
When I was 14-years-old I had my first drink from my Uncle. It was a shot Smirnoff vodka. I thought it was disgusting and it felt like I was drowsy on cough medicine. For what ever reason my uncle felt like it was appropriate to give me alcohol. It's a blurred memory.
When I was fifteen, and tried my mothers Captain Morgan rum, I liked the way I couldn't feel my gums. I also liked how when I cut myself, it hurt much less when the rum numbed my skin.
When I was 15-16, I started having sex with strangers who were always willing to supply alcohol. The first time I had sex with a stranger, I was already drunk and other older guys were watching. I don't remember those people, their names, or who they became to be.
Up until I was seventeen, I had sex with many partners, all who would supply with alcohol. A few times I did not have sex but I hazily remember getting molested by faces that draw a blank.
The guilt of this meaningless sex caught up to me so I settled down with one person who was really fond of who I was despite my sexuality.
It was a year into this young relationship that I wanted to impress his buddies by taking shots. I had seven shots in half an hour and was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. Something like .24 BAC.
Since then my libido toned down and I promised not to drink to my parents. For the next four years I continued to illicit alcohol illegally. Never drank moderately but with the sole intention of getting hammered.
Since I have turned 21 I have become a closet alcoholic. And I afforded my liquor by flirting my way into free drinks, and sometimes taking it further than verbal communication.
No one expected a thing. I am going to graduate top 10% of my major in Sociology and I have held down the same job for about three years. Despite my academic successes, I still drink to numb out the upsetting things. My relationships with men have been unsuccessful, mostly due to betrayal that occurred when drinking.
I have decided to get help now because I have been experiencing blacking out. Most of my drinking career I can recall ever embarrassing detail, now I think I have permanent brain damage. Alcohol is not only affecting my relationship with others but now my brain and who knows what else.
I am going to be 25 next year and I don't want to be a alcoholic of ten years.
Age is just a number when it comes to alcoholism and I hope a brief description of my story shows that.
This is my first ever shot at recovery.
I am hear to listen and support and find solace.
Seems like you have made the right decision .. Not to mention took a big step .. Wish I had your brains and courage when I was your Age .. Lots of good folks here so keep posting ..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 142
Hi maureen - glad you found this place. 23 is definitely NOT to young to be an alcoholic.
My teenage years were filled with drugs and alcohol. I am very lucky to be alive.
Like August said - I SOOOO wish at 23 I had your wisdom to realize a change was needed. I cleaned up the drugs but slowly just dug myself into a pit of alcoholism.
Glad you're here - we can all ride through this journey towards sobriety together - stick around!
My teenage years were filled with drugs and alcohol. I am very lucky to be alive.
Like August said - I SOOOO wish at 23 I had your wisdom to realize a change was needed. I cleaned up the drugs but slowly just dug myself into a pit of alcoholism.
Glad you're here - we can all ride through this journey towards sobriety together - stick around!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 53
Welcome Maureen. There is great support on this site :-) I am 25 and like you have been drinking since about 15. I am very lucky to be alive and not in prison. I have been sober now for a month and a half and feel great already...starting to actually remember things I enjoyed doing that did not involve alcohol! You can do this!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Welcome it is wonderful that you decided to quit early in age. Most of us have 20 or 30 years of pain misery and strained relationships. AA is a great place to meet people in your age bracket that don't drink.
congratulations on your decision to stay sober
congratulations on your decision to stay sober
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 53
Hi shelpy. I am still early days and I am not going to lie it has been hard, especially with the weather being so fantastic at the moment (UK) and all the bbqs and pub gardens that come along with it. However this weekend was the first one I actually did not think about drinking. Very strange for me indeed. I'm starting to enjoy my own company which I never did before as I would usually be drunk or going through shameful situations in my head so tried to avoid being on my own. I have noticed more people are talking to me in situations where I would have always been Drunk to even pay attention to anyone and I'm learning life is very interesting without the drink. It takes time and patience. You will get there :-)...make sure you surround yourself with positive and supportive people. This forum has been great for me, without it I would not be a month and a half into sober life...
to the family! We're glad you joined us. 
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by maureen14 
It's hard to talk about, and I don't know if society is ready for young people to consider themselves alcoholic.
When I have said aloud "I am an alcoholic" it does not fit the usual profile of a 30-something year old who has had enough of alcohol abuse.
But that doesn't matter, and it's certainly not my story.
When I was 14-years-old I had my first drink from my Uncle. It was a shot Smirnoff vodka. I thought it was disgusting and it felt like I was drowsy on cough medicine. For what ever reason my uncle felt like it was appropriate to give me alcohol. It's a blurred memory.
When I was fifteen, and tried my mothers Captain Morgan rum, I liked the way I couldn't feel my gums. I also liked how when I cut myself, it hurt much less when the rum numbed my skin.
When I was 15-16, I started having sex with strangers who were always willing to supply alcohol. The first time I had sex with a stranger, I was already drunk and other older guys were watching. I don't remember those people, their names, or who they became to be.
Up until I was seventeen, I had sex with many partners, all who would supply with alcohol. A few times I did not have sex but I hazily remember getting molested by faces that draw a blank.
The guilt of this meaningless sex caught up to me so I settled down with one person who was really fond of who I was despite my sexuality.
It was a year into this young relationship that I wanted to impress his buddies by taking shots. I had seven shots in half an hour and was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. Something like .24 BAC.
Since then my libido toned down and I promised not to drink to my parents. For the next four years I continued to illicit alcohol illegally. Never drank moderately but with the sole intention of getting hammered.
Since I have turned 21 I have become a closet alcoholic. And I afforded my liquor by flirting my way into free drinks, and sometimes taking it further than verbal communication.
No one expected a thing. I am going to graduate top 10% of my major in Sociology and I have held down the same job for about three years. Despite my academic successes, I still drink to numb out the upsetting things. My relationships with men have been unsuccessful, mostly due to betrayal that occurred when drinking.
I have decided to get help now because I have been experiencing blacking out. Most of my drinking career I can recall ever embarrassing detail, now I think I have permanent brain damage. Alcohol is not only affecting my relationship with others but now my brain and who knows what else.
I am going to be 25 next year and I don't want to be a alcoholic of ten years.
Age is just a number when it comes to alcoholism and I hope a brief description of my story shows that.
This is my first ever shot at recovery.
I am hear to listen and support and find solace.
When I have said aloud "I am an alcoholic" it does not fit the usual profile of a 30-something year old who has had enough of alcohol abuse.
But that doesn't matter, and it's certainly not my story.
When I was 14-years-old I had my first drink from my Uncle. It was a shot Smirnoff vodka. I thought it was disgusting and it felt like I was drowsy on cough medicine. For what ever reason my uncle felt like it was appropriate to give me alcohol. It's a blurred memory.
When I was fifteen, and tried my mothers Captain Morgan rum, I liked the way I couldn't feel my gums. I also liked how when I cut myself, it hurt much less when the rum numbed my skin.
When I was 15-16, I started having sex with strangers who were always willing to supply alcohol. The first time I had sex with a stranger, I was already drunk and other older guys were watching. I don't remember those people, their names, or who they became to be.
Up until I was seventeen, I had sex with many partners, all who would supply with alcohol. A few times I did not have sex but I hazily remember getting molested by faces that draw a blank.
The guilt of this meaningless sex caught up to me so I settled down with one person who was really fond of who I was despite my sexuality.
It was a year into this young relationship that I wanted to impress his buddies by taking shots. I had seven shots in half an hour and was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. Something like .24 BAC.
Since then my libido toned down and I promised not to drink to my parents. For the next four years I continued to illicit alcohol illegally. Never drank moderately but with the sole intention of getting hammered.
Since I have turned 21 I have become a closet alcoholic. And I afforded my liquor by flirting my way into free drinks, and sometimes taking it further than verbal communication.
No one expected a thing. I am going to graduate top 10% of my major in Sociology and I have held down the same job for about three years. Despite my academic successes, I still drink to numb out the upsetting things. My relationships with men have been unsuccessful, mostly due to betrayal that occurred when drinking.
I have decided to get help now because I have been experiencing blacking out. Most of my drinking career I can recall ever embarrassing detail, now I think I have permanent brain damage. Alcohol is not only affecting my relationship with others but now my brain and who knows what else.
I am going to be 25 next year and I don't want to be a alcoholic of ten years.
Age is just a number when it comes to alcoholism and I hope a brief description of my story shows that.
This is my first ever shot at recovery.
I am hear to listen and support and find solace.
You got a lot going for you, and I think its awesome you want to kick this thing now, before it costs you everything you have worked for (which it will if left to grow and continue). You can do this, its not easy, but its worth it. I saw you commented in another post about not speaking to any of your drinking buddies. I did the same thing and its lonely for a bit, but you will meet new people who will enjoy the sober you. Just wanted to say that to provide some support. Welcome, and god bless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Posts: 24
THank you again for the humble responses.
Yes, we live in a culture that celebrates drinking... and not just that but those who do not drink in social situations are stigmatized or alienated. I know this, because I have treated those who resisted drinking with hostility.
Yes, we live in a culture that celebrates drinking... and not just that but those who do not drink in social situations are stigmatized or alienated. I know this, because I have treated those who resisted drinking with hostility.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 41
You're not alone, Maureen. It's hard admitting to having a problem with alcohol at a young age. I started drinking at 14. I'm now 21 and into my third day of sobriety. There's a stigma attached to alcoholism among our age group, and some people would even feel that it's just an immature plea for attention in declaring yourself an alcoholic. I got some advice on this forum earlier today that changed my perspective. Really, who cares what your buddies think? If they're true friends, they'll support your decision to get sober. If not, screw 'em!
It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only person on here in their early 20s seeking help. Best of luck to you!
It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only person on here in their early 20s seeking help. Best of luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
Welcome. When I went to rehab a met a women with a very similar story. She was youngish. She had to change many things in her life to remain sober. I still talk to her from time to time and she is doing great. She will be sober a year in September. I will be a year in August. My sponsor got sober when he was 22 so you know it can be done. Make sure you have a plan. Try to find people around you that will support you. Some of those people you may not have even met yet. I am sure you have a lot running around in your head, I did. Ask questions, express your worries and concerns, seek out help. even if you ask 20 questions in a day on this site the people here will not care and try to help. You can do this. If not, just for today!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 9
Maureen- Wow, thanku for the brutal honesty, surely that will serve you in recovery. I can relate, i am 25 and have been sober for 9 months. I went to prison as a result of my alcohol/drug abuse, i suffered bad relationships and i never thought i would have 9 months clean. So recovery can work if you want it to. Anyways thankyou and welcome to SR. Its hard as ayoung person to admit these things or think of oursleves as alcoholic/addicts, but we must, we must. we aren't like other people are age, we have a special type of problem. Ive just been getting my head around that idea.
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