lala34mc

Hi, All -

This is my first post here. I've lurked many times, just to you know, see what people were saying. I finally hit a very bad bottom last weekend at my brother's wedding and suffice to say, the jig is up. Before that I'd drank pretty much every night for four years, and before my daughter was born, most of the time for the seven or so years prior.

The past week hasn't been easy but it's also been wonderful - waking up NOT hungover, able to take care of my daughter without being so impatient and frustrated, and most of all, not having the constant anxiety about what I said or did the night before.

One crazy side-effect is I have this rash all over my face, neck and arms. It's like tiny little whiteheads all over and it's somewhat itchy. I read this is from my nervous system recalibrating after being numbed and damaged for so long (UGH). Has anyone else experienced it?

The most amazing thing is, and I am not particularly religious but have always been very spiritual -- I feel like God is sitting next to me. Holding me. Am I going nuts?

Anyway, I wanted to say an official hi. Happy Saturday evening.

LadyinBC

Yes, I had a red rash and I was itchy. My feet and hands were the absolute worse! It will go away. If you are really concerned you can go see your doctor.

Nope I don't think you are nuts. I have a hard time with the God thing, but can't help thinking that maybe he is helping me along and I don't even know it!

LadyinBC

And congrats on a week! That is great!

lala34mc

Thank you! It feels pretty miraculous.

I'm really not worried. Considering how much I was drinking for so long, and what I know about how the body detoxes, it seems pretty obvious. I'm surprised it's not worse, honestly. Although my dreams have been OUT OF THIS WORLD. And mine were pretty vivid anyway, when I remembered them.

Nuudawn

Congrats to you! Didn't have the rash thing..but I have broken out in hives when making healthy changes. I always figured it was the toxins coming to surface. I think you're feeling about God is pretty cool. In the book Travelling Mercies by Anne Lamott..she talks about an experience before she sobered up about Jesus croutching in the corner..and then nippin' at her heels so to speak for the days that followed until finally she said "alright then, come in already". At the time of reading, I remember feeling pretty jealous of her experience thinking...Jesus never crouched in any or my corners or followed me around for pete's sakes. BUT the day I woke up after my last drinking episode I couldn't help but feel like God wasn't giving me another chance. It was like he was saying "listen Sister...you drive drunk one more time..and you're gonna kill somebody's mama or baby". I won't give you the mercy of death yourself...you're gonna have to stick around and see what you've done.

lala34mc

@Nuudawn, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Anne Lamott. I started reading her books five years ago and have come back to them many times. Funny, I have read a zillion books about recovering artist, authors, musicians, anyone.

I know that feeling you're talking about, I felt that too after last Saturday. No more chances, lady. This is it. Simultaneously terrifying and a relief, knowing there was finally nowhere else to go.

BTW - I love Hallelujah. Brandi Carlile's version is my favorite .

Dee74

welcome lala34mc

D

silentrun

Hi lala. I didn't get the rash but I do know what you mean about the God thing. I am not religious either but I had that experience also. It felt like someone turned my face and pointed at the way out. It hasn't been always easy but that feeling has come to my rescue more than once. So if you are nuts I guess so am I.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR lala! You sound very determined - a whole new life will be yours!

I had a rash - not exactly like yours, but it lasted a few days. I also itched and my skin 'crawled' - all sorts of good stuff. It all stopped, though. As for God - on my last day drinking I begged him to lift me up out of hell, and he did. I haven't returned.

We're so glad you are here lala - you're doing great.

Taking5

Congrats on the week.

The rash and the dreams are both common withdrawal symptoms. The spiritual feeling is a bonus.

instant

Getting sober is a great adventure! Hope the rash settles. Staying open to the spiritual
Side of existence is a great antidote to relapse. God is present in everything, and im not religious either, but the fact i am sober over two years is a miracle.

Glad you are here welcome

Nuudawn

Anne is fantastic. I also have an enormous literary crush on Donald Miller. I'm so glad that you too feel like you've reached that turning point. Hallelujah!

And speaking of that tune ; ).. not familiar with Brandi's..but I'm Canadian so I gotta go with my gal K.D. Lang on her cover for the Olympic opening ceremonies ; )

So hope to keep meetin' ya around here!!

fhl41

Hi Lala, for me in all honesty I felt like God spoke to my heart and said enough is enough lady. I haven't had a drink since that day and I almost feel like He had a hand in taking away my desire to drink, its a miracle to me.

Congrats to you!