teardrop

i can feel it inside me im gonna give in and get drunk

i cant find any reason not to

its sh!t like this

dont know how you lot do it

or ill rephrase that, dont know how anyone who doesnt beleive in god/praying does it

im not praying its stupid and makes me feel stupid, im not a bible basher all goody goody samaritan, i just want to be normal

im covered both arms face neck back in tattoos which i dont regret, im not a church going bible basher praying person

losteverything

I am covered in Tattoos as well... piercings too. That has nothing to do with how many sheep live in Scotland. Normal isn't drinking, normal is just a setting on your washing machine. A lot more people in this world dont drink than do, so you cant say its "normal". Getting drunk isn't easier either..it takes going to buy booze, pour the booze, drink the booze, then hide the booze etc.. Its much easier to not drink, and you will feel much better about not drinking today when tomorrow comes, than vice versa... just my opinion.

Jeni26

Teardrop, I'm guessing there is a part of you that is desperate NOT to drink which is why you're posting.

You don't need to go to Church, to read the bible or to pray to stay successfully sober. Plenty here do none of those things.

I'm sorry AA didn't work out for you, but I see from your join date you've been around for a while, so you know there are many alternatives.

I don't know you, and I don't know what will work for you, but I'm sure there is a 'fit' for you somewhere.

Drinking is not the solution. You know how that story ends. Be strong x

sugarbear1

rational recovery
avrt
smart
life ring
sos
women for sobriety

no praying in these, check out their websites!

LadyBlue0527

Hi teardrop:

(drink)

Is that true, there is absolutely no reason that you shouldn't drink? What led you here?

I've read prior posts and you don't want anything to do with AA and that's fine. Everyone needs to find what works for them.

I think I remember someone telling you that there's an entire area devoted to non 12 step programs. They're alternatives to AA that don't go down the path of prayer. Here's the link below that will lead you there:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

When someone gave you that information what did you find when you went there? Did any of those alternative programs speak to you where AA doesn't?

Please, give us your thoughts.

Edit: I see that Sugarbear just listed some of those programs for you. I'd be interested to hear what you think of those after you've had a chance to check them out.

GracieLou

I am not either. In fact we had nothing of this when I grew up. No church, no religion, no prayer. Nothing. The only time I heard the word God when was when someone stubbed their toe, "Oh God, that hurts"

A higher power has nothing to do with God or any other name one wants to give it. It is about believing in something other than ourselves.

When I was drinking I only trusted me. Me and me alone. I trusted no other person or "God" for that matter. All that mumbo jumbo was stupid.

What I have learned is my automatic dislike of things I do not understand came from fear. Fear of the unknown. I could not trust the unknown. I could only trust what I knew. Me and booze. They, in my mind, never let me down.

The only bit I needed was to admit that maybe, out there, was a power greater then me. I did not trust it. I did not pray to it. I just thought maybe.

It is progress, not perfection.

visch1

Many of us who relapse have different reasons and perhaps with our brains damaged by the toxic substances it's understandable to want to repeat the same insanity. I was/am a undisciplined person at times and did damage to myself by myself, can't change that. I can try to change the many aspects of my ISM one day at a time and when I need help go to a flesh meeting and be open. It seem your shite fairy is getting too much of your attention and needs to be put away. BE WELL

teardrop

last time i felt this sh!t, i did get links off here to other groups instead of aa, i got all the info address time etc and went to a smart recovery meeting, it was a empty room with no one there, in the building was a different group doing something in a different room, no one knew anything about smart recovery, it was a waste of time p ed me off and the next day i drank

Dee74

The trouble with giving in is you know you'll be back at this point again.

You have good reasons for wanting to quit, and those reasons will drive you to want to quit again.

If you don't want to involve a god in your recovery then don't.

The most important thing is not to drink or use, then find support to help you stay quit.

There are many secular approaches to recovery, and much secular support, teardrop - if you can find real life meetings what about online ones?

D

visch1

And drinking repaired that experience? I can identify. Someone one said I wanted to drink more than I wanted to get sober and I did and the pain did get worse. Take a look of all the people who relapse can't make it bad. Think you have problems, Google WET BRAIN.

BE WELL

secretary

Teardrop give it one more day. Everyday I tell myself I can have a drink tomorrow. That calms your addictive voice down to make it through one more day. And then the days start to add up and you feel stronger and more sure of yourself.

teardrop

why do i feel punished or as if im missing out? when i see my neighbours in their garden drinking, when i go to the shops and see other drinking in beer gardens/pub door ways,

why does the stupid supermarket put big towers of boxes of beers right in the door way with offers on

LadyBlue0527

teardrop, I know exactly where you are right now in trying not to drink and how you're feeling. I've been there, a lot of us have. It's so hard to find acceptance and to face the fact that you can't do something. It breeds resentment and creates attitude. I called it my "There's NOTHING to do" moments. Which really meant "I am going to create an irrational attitude and for everything positive thing said I will find an irrational response that will justify why I should and can drink".

I know that you're not religious but you don't have to be to get what I'm saying next.

Imagine the devil on one shoulder and an angel on your other. What's happening right now is that they're fighting with each other. Read back through your posts this morning and think about it. Do you really, in your heart, believe that you can't find any reason to quit? I don't think that's true because if it were you wouldn't be here.

Well, I'm thankful that you are. YOU chose to come here instead of giving in and you should feel so good about that. You're trying your hardest to not do what it is that you know that you can't and shouldn't do. That takes a lot of courage. Your addictive voice (AV) is screaming out to you today and you are coming here to help to silence it. That is so awesome, I mean it

I not selling anything to you here but I can tell you that your attitude about AA was the same as mine when I tried it in prior attempts. This time, it's what's working for me. I'm not a religious person. However, is there anything on earth or elsewhere that means more to you than your drinking? Do you have anyone in your life who has passed on who you felt a great deal about? If you can answer that then that's what your higher power might be. It's something outside of you that you can turn to when you get into these moments. For me, I found peace through AA because I realized that if I removed the choice to drink from myself and gave it to my higher power than I didn't have to wrestle with it anymore. Do I crave? Oh yeah. I can even feel myself headed down the path that you're on today. Then, I sit and say a few things to myself.

1. Mom and Dad, please give me the strength to get past this, I know how proud you would be of me right now so I am NOT going to give in to this. Please be by my side.

2. To my higher power: Help me to get past this, I know that I can do this and I don't have a choice because the choice belongs to you and I know that you say NO.


Next, go to the 24 hour club and post. You are asking for 24 hours of sobriety. That's all that you need for now. Relieve yourself of the stress that you're feeling right now of the fight that's going on in your mind.

KEEP POSTING! We are here and that's what we're here for.

Maybe not one thing that I said above will help but I had to try. I know that you're agonizing right now. But teardrop, it's going to pass, I promise. Just get your mind busy on other things.

Start right now by saying three sentences that start with

I need to stay sober because.......

Sometimes a little positive reinforcement helps

and here's one more for good measure

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

SoberMarine

As a former U.S. Marine with a tattoo I can assure you that tattoos and stuff associated with tattoos have nothing to do with it. Regarding religion, for some it is necessary and beneficial, and for some religion is inconsequential. For me health had a lot to do with it. I saw and felt my health deteriorate. I thought of the effects of poor health on my career and on my family. I love life and want to live long AND HEALTHY. Sure, I prayed for strength and discipline, and now I pray in gratitude, but some don't pray at all and are just as sober as those of us who do say the occasional prayer. At the end of the day all that matters is what YOU want to do for YOURSELF. If you want to quit, we support you and are here for you. If you want to drink, well, you're going to drink. Me, personally, I wish you wouldn't go back to the sauce. Though I don't know you, I do know you are stronger than that. You've come this far, and it's a huge accomplishment. I only hope you find the strength and discipline to continue down the sober path.

secretary

Teardrop, we all feel that way, if that's any consolation. When you give up alcohol you have to take time to grieve. You are giving up a long time companion was there for you through thick and thin. It's only when you step away you see that it makes you vulnerable to all sorts of things, and it's not a good thing anymore.

ScottFromWI

Teardrop:

I am not religious and I don't do AA or any other recovery method that requires an HP or religion of any kind. I also have about 7 months of sobriety so far. I say that not to prove that religion or AA is somehow bad, quite the contrary. I say it because you need to quit blaming others and methods for your issues. We have all been there, and the pity party has to end if you want to get better. See a counselor, do some online secular meetings, or try something like AVRT that can be done totally on your own. But bottom line, do SOMETHING other than blame and wallow in self pity.

SoberMarine

One more thought that just came to mind:

Attitude has a LOT to do with it. Instead of looking at alcohol as something you'll be missing out on, think of it as freeing yourself from the deadly grip of alcohol. Be happy you're not drinking. When you see people drinking, don't look down on them, never judge, but smile knowing you don't have to drink to be happy or to function

WhiteFeathers

Just a suggestion... have you ever read the memoir Dharma Punx? It's about a man who found solace through punk rock, drinking, drugs and then, finally, in Buddhism and sobriety.

Dharma Punx

I'm doing a recovery workshop with the author soon. It's just another alternative. Best to you.

Sasha4

Well if you are going to drink like a normal person, then that will involve the following:

1. Going out for lunch and not feeling overly bothered about drinking. So when the rest drink, you have a diet coke.

2. On an evening, you have two glasses of wine/beer/spirit and a mixer, then decide you have had enough and have a few cups of tea.

3. On a night out, or at a celebration you have a few glasses of champagne then you decide to stick to soft drinks as you feel a bit tipsy.

4. When cooking and following a recipe you have 'left over' white wine in the fridge or half a full bottle of red that you can add to the dish.

5. You can take it or leave it. You might have one drink monday night. Then two drinks wednesday and a pint on saturday night.

Do you really think this is what you would do if you went back to drinking?

Can you really see yourself having one and leaving it at that?

Because thats what normal drinkers do.

I know I couldn't do it

I really wish you the best whatever you decide.

xx

teardrop

i just want to be normal

i didnt say that i drink normal