Starting again, Again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 25
Starting again, Again!
Well I've been kidding myself again, going a few days sober and telling myself I got this and one drink will be fine and that always ends up being a bottle! The feeling of guilt is just constant.
I feel quite shameful admitting to the people I care about that I'm an alcoholic, I just don't want to let those words out of my mouth because of what they might think and I have been such a failure at quitting in the past to fail in their eyes again just makes it worse.
All I can do is start again, take one day at a time, but I need to be honest about it with everyone otherwise I won't succeed.
I feel quite shameful admitting to the people I care about that I'm an alcoholic, I just don't want to let those words out of my mouth because of what they might think and I have been such a failure at quitting in the past to fail in their eyes again just makes it worse.
All I can do is start again, take one day at a time, but I need to be honest about it with everyone otherwise I won't succeed.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
going a few days sober and telling myself I got this and one drink will be fine and that always ends up being a bottle!
I knew i had to quit and the time of my life was flying by, i didn't want to waste yet another year (if i'd have survived it) just existing .
Sobriety rocks
Welcome back , welcome back , freedom can be yours 
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Olympia, Washington, USA
Posts: 135
You sound like my twin! I know exactly how you feel! Ugh! It's better to just quit completely. Trying to moderate does not work!!! I sure wish it did. Good luck! YOu can do it! I'm on day 29 already and I feel soooo much better!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Tried for decades to cut down rather than say it loud what I knew inside was them truth. Finally took the bull by the horns and told hubby. With his love and support I am over 4 months and looking at a happy, sober future.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Not a fan of shame...nor am I comfortable using the word "alcoholic" to others...not because I don't meet all the criteria..cuz I "shore" do! I just prefer to define myself by what I have chosen now rather than what I chose in my past. I choose a sober life now..so I'm a "soberist". I know that I cannot drink because I don't have an "off" button that works with any certainty. It's faulty. I have had...on a occasion..a couple of drinks..but it all too often led to drunken arse land.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Kath..I could have written your post. Once I start feeling better, usually a couple days or even a week, I seem to quickly forget what drinking does to me. The voice in my head begins to tell me that I don't really have a problem, everyone drinks, that I'm making too much of a big deal of this...blah blah blah. And to be honest, I don't even really enjoy drinking that much anymore. At least not like I used to.
So I'm right here with you, one day at a time of course..but knowing that I really want to be done with it once and for all.
So I'm right here with you, one day at a time of course..but knowing that I really want to be done with it once and for all.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Welcome back Kath! Glad you're going to try again. I found it was easier to stop entirely than to try to moderate. I just couldn't moderate. I've been sober for a year now (did not think I would EVER be typing that!) and I have never described myself as an alcoholic. Share what you're comfortable with and leave the rest.
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