For those considering quitting …
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NYC - New York
Posts: 305
For those considering quitting …
For the record: Hi, I’m Sobearish and I’m an alcoholic. I've abused alcohol for over 25 years and after a decade of trying to change my ways I finally have 100 days under my belt.
I wanted to talk about a common misconception that I feel prevents many alcoholics and problem drinkers from taking that first step towards getting better.
“I need to stop drinking but I’m not sure what to do. I know AA is not for me as I’m not a religious person”
A lot of you just shut down after reading that. You crossed your arms, or raised your brow in a knowing smirk. “Oh here we go” you say. But please bear with me.
A couple of questions. Do you believe that religion and spirituality are one and the same? Do you believe you can be a spiritual person without being religious?
I am an atheist but I do believe in the human spirit. Not that your spirit flies off to the afterlife when you die, I’m talking about the type of human spirit that drives someone to attempt something against all odds. The human spirit that can draw us together to perform amazing feats. The human spirit that understands we are all part of something far greater than our individual selves (humanity).
History has proven to us countless times that the human spirit can be very powerful indeed.
As an alcoholic I gradually crushed my human spirit to a point where it almost didn't exist anymore. It became more and more difficult for me to experience joy and wonder, it became more and more difficult to relate to my fellow humans in a positive way, it became more and more difficult to merely function in society. Hope and optimism became something to be scorned as I wasted away into bitterness and isolation.
AA is a spiritual organization, not a religious organization. It’s function is not to convert you to its doctrines and belief in an individual deity, it’s primary function is to show you a series of steps and tools to help you stop drinking and reawaken your human spirit so you may enjoy life as you once did.
Medical science has, for the most part, failed to find a cure for our condition. It is baffled by the fact that two similar individuals can begin drinking at the same age, drink similar amounts over a period of time, yet one will become alcoholic and the other will not. Also, once someone has been diagnosed as alcoholic, medical science has figured out very few proven ways to treat it.
About 80 years ago a small group of alcoholics stumbled onto something. They figured out a way where the most hopeless alcoholic was able to sober up, become happy and spiritually fulfilled. We now know that what they figured out for themselves was essentially a form of group therapy.
Since it’s its inception 80 years ago, millions and millions of people just like you have managed to stop drinking by following the path carved out by those original members. Millions of hopeless cases, people from all races and backgrounds, atheists, agnostics and fundamentalists have all benefitted in ways they couldn't have possibly imagined.
Yes the word god is used, sometimes liberally, yes the word prayer is used as well. However, those words can easily be interchanged. Instead of god say your name, instead of prayer use affirmation. Realize that the organization was born in a different era with different language. It has been so successful that peple are reluctant to change its teachings and language from their original form.
AA may borrow some religious terminology but it does not advocate or push you to become a religious person. Some alcoholics who have successfully used the AA program to get well have turned to religion and that is perfectly understandable. Imagine a person so sick, so beat down with trying to get better that they welcome death. Now imagine that same person finally beating the affliction that is crippling them. Could that feel like a miracle, could that feel like they were touched by god per-say?
Again, I’m am an atheist, but feeling the way I feel today after breaking free from this stone that has been dragging me down, well, I can see why someone may begin saying “By the grace of god”
My long winded point is this. If you're reading this you probably have a problem with alcohol. There are few proven ways to treat our condition, AA is one of them. Please don't throw away a chance at recovery because of a misconception or prejudice.
After all, if you were a cancer patient, would you refuse treatment at a christian funded hospital with a great record of curing people because there was a copy of the lords prayer on the wall?
AA can work for you regardless of your beliefs, why not give it a try? What do you actually have to lose except your misery?
I wanted to talk about a common misconception that I feel prevents many alcoholics and problem drinkers from taking that first step towards getting better.
“I need to stop drinking but I’m not sure what to do. I know AA is not for me as I’m not a religious person”
A lot of you just shut down after reading that. You crossed your arms, or raised your brow in a knowing smirk. “Oh here we go” you say. But please bear with me.
A couple of questions. Do you believe that religion and spirituality are one and the same? Do you believe you can be a spiritual person without being religious?
I am an atheist but I do believe in the human spirit. Not that your spirit flies off to the afterlife when you die, I’m talking about the type of human spirit that drives someone to attempt something against all odds. The human spirit that can draw us together to perform amazing feats. The human spirit that understands we are all part of something far greater than our individual selves (humanity).
History has proven to us countless times that the human spirit can be very powerful indeed.
As an alcoholic I gradually crushed my human spirit to a point where it almost didn't exist anymore. It became more and more difficult for me to experience joy and wonder, it became more and more difficult to relate to my fellow humans in a positive way, it became more and more difficult to merely function in society. Hope and optimism became something to be scorned as I wasted away into bitterness and isolation.
AA is a spiritual organization, not a religious organization. It’s function is not to convert you to its doctrines and belief in an individual deity, it’s primary function is to show you a series of steps and tools to help you stop drinking and reawaken your human spirit so you may enjoy life as you once did.
Medical science has, for the most part, failed to find a cure for our condition. It is baffled by the fact that two similar individuals can begin drinking at the same age, drink similar amounts over a period of time, yet one will become alcoholic and the other will not. Also, once someone has been diagnosed as alcoholic, medical science has figured out very few proven ways to treat it.
About 80 years ago a small group of alcoholics stumbled onto something. They figured out a way where the most hopeless alcoholic was able to sober up, become happy and spiritually fulfilled. We now know that what they figured out for themselves was essentially a form of group therapy.
Since it’s its inception 80 years ago, millions and millions of people just like you have managed to stop drinking by following the path carved out by those original members. Millions of hopeless cases, people from all races and backgrounds, atheists, agnostics and fundamentalists have all benefitted in ways they couldn't have possibly imagined.
Yes the word god is used, sometimes liberally, yes the word prayer is used as well. However, those words can easily be interchanged. Instead of god say your name, instead of prayer use affirmation. Realize that the organization was born in a different era with different language. It has been so successful that peple are reluctant to change its teachings and language from their original form.
AA may borrow some religious terminology but it does not advocate or push you to become a religious person. Some alcoholics who have successfully used the AA program to get well have turned to religion and that is perfectly understandable. Imagine a person so sick, so beat down with trying to get better that they welcome death. Now imagine that same person finally beating the affliction that is crippling them. Could that feel like a miracle, could that feel like they were touched by god per-say?
Again, I’m am an atheist, but feeling the way I feel today after breaking free from this stone that has been dragging me down, well, I can see why someone may begin saying “By the grace of god”
My long winded point is this. If you're reading this you probably have a problem with alcohol. There are few proven ways to treat our condition, AA is one of them. Please don't throw away a chance at recovery because of a misconception or prejudice.
After all, if you were a cancer patient, would you refuse treatment at a christian funded hospital with a great record of curing people because there was a copy of the lords prayer on the wall?
AA can work for you regardless of your beliefs, why not give it a try? What do you actually have to lose except your misery?
Memberado
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Amen to that!
I put off even giving AA a try for several years, largely because I thought I was going to be harangued into organized religion. I was totally wrong!
As you describe it, yes, the words God and prayer are used liberally in AA. I say "Higher Power", instead of "God". As for prayer. The word still makes me cringe because of all the things I attribute to "prayer" based on my aversion to organized religion. But as you say, in AA the word prayer can be substituted by "affirmation".
I am amazed at how AA works so well, despite the fact that the organization is organized by such a vast number of people who are in no way employed or "signed up" members on some contract or roster. By the same token, I try to keep in mind that if one or two members have an interpretation that I don't like or tell me I have it wrong (or whatever), I can't blame all of AA for that. AA belongs to all alcoholics who have a desire to stop drinking.
I put off even giving AA a try for several years, largely because I thought I was going to be harangued into organized religion. I was totally wrong!
As you describe it, yes, the words God and prayer are used liberally in AA. I say "Higher Power", instead of "God". As for prayer. The word still makes me cringe because of all the things I attribute to "prayer" based on my aversion to organized religion. But as you say, in AA the word prayer can be substituted by "affirmation".
I am amazed at how AA works so well, despite the fact that the organization is organized by such a vast number of people who are in no way employed or "signed up" members on some contract or roster. By the same token, I try to keep in mind that if one or two members have an interpretation that I don't like or tell me I have it wrong (or whatever), I can't blame all of AA for that. AA belongs to all alcoholics who have a desire to stop drinking.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
You hit the nail on the head! Actually, we had a guy in one of our meetings say that he didn't know what to do because he wasn't religious. He seemed to refuse to see the difference between a spiritual program and a religious one.
I know that the God word kept me out of AA for many years. I scorned people who believed that a great white bearded, white robed, sandaled, narcissistic old man in the sky was going to make them sober. What a joke! Finally, alcohol beat me into a state of reasonableness and i came to AA, hat in hand, with a willing heart.
That's when i realized that the underlined bit in Step 2 was important. I never thought about it but there it was. I got to choose my God, my very own personal Higher Power. It wasn't dictated to me. I wasn't force fed some religious idea of what some other person thinks God is. I got to choose God as i come to understand it. Well, i don't understand my god very well but just being willing to accept that there is a power greater than myself is enough. I mean, when i was sick in my disease, i was too afraid to admit there was a God because if there was, he had abandoned me.
Now, i see it was me that cut God from my life. When i left the church, i thought that i could no longer have a relationship with God because God and church were inseparable. Boy, did i throw the baby out with the bathwater! I now know that the God of my understanding doesn't need the church. It only needs me.
So if you're shying away from AA because of the God word, don't stress. You can find the solution there if you will enter the fellowship with an open heart, a willingness to have your preconceptions smashed and a desire to do whatever it takes to stop drinking. You don't have to go in there and find God right away. Just be willing to believe in a power greater than yourself.
I know that the God word kept me out of AA for many years. I scorned people who believed that a great white bearded, white robed, sandaled, narcissistic old man in the sky was going to make them sober. What a joke! Finally, alcohol beat me into a state of reasonableness and i came to AA, hat in hand, with a willing heart.
That's when i realized that the underlined bit in Step 2 was important. I never thought about it but there it was. I got to choose my God, my very own personal Higher Power. It wasn't dictated to me. I wasn't force fed some religious idea of what some other person thinks God is. I got to choose God as i come to understand it. Well, i don't understand my god very well but just being willing to accept that there is a power greater than myself is enough. I mean, when i was sick in my disease, i was too afraid to admit there was a God because if there was, he had abandoned me.
Now, i see it was me that cut God from my life. When i left the church, i thought that i could no longer have a relationship with God because God and church were inseparable. Boy, did i throw the baby out with the bathwater! I now know that the God of my understanding doesn't need the church. It only needs me.
So if you're shying away from AA because of the God word, don't stress. You can find the solution there if you will enter the fellowship with an open heart, a willingness to have your preconceptions smashed and a desire to do whatever it takes to stop drinking. You don't have to go in there and find God right away. Just be willing to believe in a power greater than yourself.
Just a Sober ******* Now
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: S.IN
Posts: 150
Great post!
I too was initially turned off by the whole "God thing" back in the day. Fought that portion right off the bat. However, I realized after a few meetings that they weren't pushing an agenda other than staying sober and making the mind a healthier organ.
In the event that pretty much any meeting I've been to has started to take a very religious swing, there always seems to be someone there to clear everything right back up, and realign the focus.
Anyone on the wall about it... Give it a shot. If it's not for you, it's not for you and nobody will hold it against you. Another great advantage of giving it a shot is finding out the other options available.
I too was initially turned off by the whole "God thing" back in the day. Fought that portion right off the bat. However, I realized after a few meetings that they weren't pushing an agenda other than staying sober and making the mind a healthier organ.
In the event that pretty much any meeting I've been to has started to take a very religious swing, there always seems to be someone there to clear everything right back up, and realign the focus.
Anyone on the wall about it... Give it a shot. If it's not for you, it's not for you and nobody will hold it against you. Another great advantage of giving it a shot is finding out the other options available.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
I consider myself an agnostic. I wasn't looking for a spiritual experience but one found me. That was the moment I saw through the lies of this addiction. I still don't know for sure if it was a guardian angel or I just hit my lizard brain. It felt surreal. Either way if you haven't had this yet you want it. I don't do AA but if somebody can help you get that experience give it a try.
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