teardrop

this is sh!t when do the sh!t feelings go away, ive been fighting the thoughts of getting drunk for over a week now every single day

i got to just over 2 months off it, this time,

in the past ive had a few 2 months dry, a few 1 months dry, and one spell of 3 month dry

i cant get any further, i can feel myself slipping away, i can tell im gonna pick up very soon

Nonsensical

This will sound strange (it did to me until I tried it a few times) but don't fight the thoughts of getting drunk. Instead try this:

Find a comfortable position and take a few deep breaths. Think about the thought or feeling that you're having. Imagine it as being separate from you. What does it want? Why does it want it? Where does it come from? Where can it go so that it's not bothering you anymore? I can breathe mine out if I try. Fresh clean air comes in through my nose and hot foul air goes out of my mouth, carrying that wicked feeling with it.

It's the fighting that causes the suffering. Let it pass. It will. You can do this.

doggonecarl

Two months is awesome. Don't throw it away.

There's being "dry" and there's working on one's recovery. If you are merely doing the former, yes, you are going to be miserable.

What are you doing to get better other than not drinking? What are you willing to do?

visch1

Congratulations on not drinking. Recovery STARTS with not drinking and continues on down the path of repairing: the REASONS we drank which is the starting point of recovery. I needed the help of the people in AA to start these steps to feel good in my own skin. But it worked and works for millions. Your last sentence to me indicates your ready for a journey you won't regret. It's important to KEEP COMING AND DON'T DRINK for this miracle for many to occur. BE WELL

noexcuse

Teardrop, do you have any other support outside of SR? Sounds like you could use some sober company, maybe a little break to see that there are things that can be enjoyed when you're not drinking like a nice dinner or a movie or a hike.

Please don't pick up. Play the tape all the way through. What happened the last time you got drunk? Or one of the times that things didn't 'turn out' the way you wanted them to? I had a moment when I thought about drinking this last week. I realized that I didn't have time in my schedule to fit in a hangover, nor did I have enough money in my account to have room to worry about paying for another legal issue. My self esteem can't take another embarassing episode, and my body is happy to not have bruises-of-unknown-origin each morning.

Do you have the desire for all the bad things that go with drinking? You're doing really good, maybe give it a little more time to work. As I've often heard, give it a chance. If you don't like what you're getting, you can get a full refund of your misery.

teardrop

i dont know because i dont know what to do, all i do know is i am not praying i dont believe in any form of god at all, i think im just dry rather than sober, yes i am very miserable with it

teardrop

i dont want a hangover or a sh!t night of tossing turning sweating, which always happens when i pick back up, i dont want police or court fines or court appearances, but i do want my head to shut up and i want to feel happy, or feel whole, i feel like im missing something, its like someones chopped my arms of or something

LadyBlue0527

Those words are gold! You nailed it Nonsensical.

teardrop, you need to find things to do. Are there any meetings that you can attend in your area? Do you have any sober friends that you can do things with? You need to fill your mind with something else until this passes for you. If you just lay or sit around and dwell on it you're just torturing yourself. Please try to remove yourself from it.

Don't give up what you've fought so hard for.

GracieLou

Do you think you can believe in anything other than yourself? The Universe, Mother earth? Is there anything that you consider more powerful than you?

teardrop

i dont have any friends sober or drunk, i drank alone for years, i cant mix with people i dont know how to anymore, i can talk to anyone when drunk, i cant do nothing sober

i dont like aa they all keep telling me to pray and i arnt doing that, its turned me against aa, i used to go i went to 10 meetings a week for a full month, but then i was spending as much on fuel in my car as i was on booze if i stayed in, and i was out all the time, not home with my wife, so she either had me here drunk or out sober

alphaomega

Thisis one of the most incredible threads. Thank you to everyone who is sharing. It's exceptionally helpful to me.

GracieLou

Let me ask you this. Do you think there such a thing as evil?

LadyBlue0527

That's the exact feeling that it is. Like you're supposed to be doing something and you're not. I know it well and it sucks. It's worse if you sit and think about it. I promise you, this WILL pass. I promise you something else. Each time that you jump over that hurdle and get past it you'll feel stronger.

aasharon90

It's not just not drinking when we live
a recovery life without drinking each
day. It requires learning. It requires
being taught. We have to know why
we drink. What causes us to drink.
How it affects our own bodies. Our
own system.

Each one of us is made up or wired
differently from the inside. Each of us
have reasons or what causes us to
drink excessively without control.

Addiction is serious and we read each
day how so many are affected by it
and how often it ends their lives.

We all have underlying problems in
our selves in our lifes, from the past,
physical, emotional, physcological
problems within us and using alcohol
or drugs, narcotics, poison to fix those
problems, doesn't make them go away
or fix the problems.

Family intervention got my foot in the
door of recovery and gave me a good
28 day start in a controlled inviroment
so that the seed of recovery could be
planted.

I took the tools and knowledge of my
addiction to alcohol taught to me at
that time with me when released and
began to fertilize that little seed with
more healthier tools and extra knowledge
by listening and absorbing what I heard
from other members that were sharing
their own ESH - experiences, strengths
and hopes of what their life was and is
like before, during and after ther drinking
or drugging careers.

In doing so each day, it gave me hope
that if they could and would stay sober
one day at a time, then I could and would
too.

And I have for the past 22 yrs.

Today as I continue on my recovery
journey, I find and learn newer ways
to live life on lifes terms, accepting
people, places and things just as they
are suppose to be and pass my own
ESH with the newcomer.

It's the only way I can stay sober and
remain healthy, happy and honest in
recovery.

So can you.

teardrop

it depends in what aspect youre asking

i believe myra hyndley and ian brady were evil yes

i dont believe in heaven and hell

god or devil

i also dont think im the most powerfull thing being human etc

i just feel sh!t

visch1

A lot of people have so much trouble with this praying business. It says Higher Power, which is not me/you, doesn't say any church or religion, you can believe that the sun as a higher power and it is as many groups prayed to it in history. I bet many non believers here prayed: please God get me out of this one! And that's all it really takes. Many of us had a higher power we didn't like such as the arresting cop, the judge, our bosses, wives, husbands and on and on are a higher power. I found the first thing I needed to do was get HONEST with myself and stop encouraging the BS in my head. BE WELL

visch1

Also in my early days in AA it was said that our misery is refundable if we are unhappy with the healing process. And believe me going back out is miserable + compared to now. BE WELL

GracieLou

I had to look that up. Yes, they were evil

You don't have to

You don't have to

This is a start

I know and it sucks but try and hang in there.

The reason I asked about evil is to qualify evil then there must be good. One cannot exist without the other. Like ying and yang.

Since you think there is "something" bigger or more powerful than you, do you beleive that thing, whatever it is, is good?

If you can do that, if you believe that is possible, then you have a HP and that is all you need.

least

If you allow yourself to think like this then you probably will drink again. Replace those thoughts with positive ones - and believe that you won't drink.

Nonsensical

There are plenty of non-AA alternatives, TD.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

We talk about them quite a lot over at the Secular Connections forum. You might want to check that out.

Be well.