crazybabie

I have a lot on my plate right now and am doing pretty good overall but I found out yesterday I am not as strong as I thought I was at this point. I got the manipulative "My life is so F..... up that I just wish it was over from AH I knew it was coming I knew from a message I got the night I asked him to move out.

I slipped and played the dance for awhile last night but this morning I was able too see how and why I got caught in the dance and am not dancing .
I also found out he has been going out of state to get drugs so this is worse than I ever imagined.

This, is where I need some support I have been disabled since I was 25 and I have decided that I want to try and use the programs that are available for me to try and become self- sufficient when I worked I always had good offers of moving up rather quickly and always quit because I thought if I didn't do what he wanted he would leave simply young and dumb thinking.

I am so scared I don't know why because the system has a great plan that allows me to keep the income I have now and my insurance and work and see what I am now capable of. I want my independence back, I always loved working part of me says you can do this and part of me says are you stupid?


My step-dad made a very inappropriate comment the other day I was outside the car and when I got in he said get that hard nipple in here
My mom was in the car with us I felt terrible for her and pissed at him I am confused on this because even though they need me right now well this is just crazy I need my focus on me and bettering my life.

I need away from all the negative and inappropriate people in it I feel so lost and confused.

Thanks for listening.

amy55

Hi Angie,

I am so proud of you. You know what you want, and you will figure out a way to do this and to make it happen.

Your AH, you step-dad, well some people are just crazy and want to bring us down.

I don't think that you have dumb-thinking or that you are stupid. I actually have a lot of respect for the decisions that you are considering making.

I wish you the best !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LoveMeNow

You don't sound lost and confused. You sound like you know exactly what you need and want. You now just need the confidence and courage. The serenity prayer really helps me, even if I have to say it 20 times before it sinks in.

P.S. Please tell the mean voice to be quiet and go away.

Go Angie go, we all know you can do it. Trust us until you can trust yourself again.

crazybabie

LMN, I think you just hit on something I was not aware of I didn't think about I am not trusting myself.

Amy, thank you for your kind words and support.

Ilovemysonjj

Angie, thank you for sharing. Sounds like a wonderful opportunity! It also sounds like you know without a doubt that this change will be good for YOU and that is also great to hear. Best of luck in your job search, sounds like a win win situation!

havehope

Go for it, Angie! You can do this. Just say, "devil, get behind me, i dont have time for you" because you have no use for all of those negative thoughts. Set your sight on your goal and go for it! Go Angie, Go!

lizwig

I agree with all these posts crazy babie!! You will never regret one single second spent on bettering yourself! Take advantage of all the programs available to you! Acknowledging you WANT better tells me you know you DESERVE better! And that ridiculous comment by your step dad...it's just that. It reflects very poorly on him and his maturity level. I have come to believe some people are just born without filters. I'm really proud of you! Can't wait to hear about what you pursue!!

LoveMeNow

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something.
But I can't accept not trying.

~Michael Jordon

YearForMe

Empower yourself mama.....

Go Angie....Go