GGrock

Hi everyone! Even though this is my first post on this site I'm not unfamiliar with it. I've been coming here off and on for the past couple years every time I attempted to quit drinking. It's very inspirational to hear your stories and know that i'm not alone in this fight!

A little about me. I'm 37 years old and for the past 7 years have been an Alcoholic. I've been a binge drinker since I was 18, but somewhere around my late 20's got into the hard stuff. From 30 to 35 years old I drank hardcore everyday until I ran in to heath problems.. Gained 40 pounds, every joint in my body ached which made working on my feet all day a nightmare! So I made a change. I drank just on the weekends. (Not much of a change because I just did a weeks worth of drinking on the weekends)

Well on May 1st I was laid off from the job I've had for 16 years. Can you guess what I've been doing since? Yup, you guessed right! I have been drinking out of control since that day and i'm starting to get scared. I'm scared because I know if I don't stop this behavior right now, I'm never even going to look for another job. I'll probably just drink myself to death. I've made a few attempts to quit these last couple months, but only made it 2 days. I said I wasn't gonna drink today and I'm writing this while drinking. Tomorrow's another day and I promise I will try again!!

Well, I just needed to vent!

Greg

"How can you change tomorrow if you can't change today?"

Dee74

Welcome to SR Greg - you'll find a lot of support here

D

Hevyn

Welcome Greg! You found a wonderful place for encouragement. It's great that you've reached out for help and want to change your life. You can do this.

GGrock

I hope I can, I'm not going to stop trying.

Aimee1978

I am on day 2 Greg and it is hell but I am not giving up and don't you either, keep trying! The worst thing for me is the sweats, anxiety, and obsessively thinking about drinking... then I just want it to go away so I start drinking again. I keep telling myself, just a couple more days and the worst will be over and then I never have to go through that part again. Of course after that, the work isn't over but you have to start somewhere and need to go through the rough patch to get to where you need to be. A lot of good peeps here and you will get some great support... wish you all the best!!

GGrock

Yea, I totally understand the obsessively thinking about drinking. It's an endless battle in my head when im sober and I lose that battle way too often..

Aimee1978

All I can say is don't give up... I have tried to quit many times, been in the hospital, rehab and just tried on my own which is what I am doing now but I do have meds for depression & anxiety which do help, been on them all my life pretty much... maybe you should talk to your dr and see if they can help you out... you don't have to do it alone.

GGrock

Oh yes, I am so stranger to Anxiety/Depression. Ive been dealing with that for a looong time. I've never taken any meds for it cause because I know I function pretty well when I don't drink.. For me, the day after drinking is when im anxiety stricken. Even going to the grocery store can be a difficult event. But when im sober for a few days, it's non existent.

least

to the site! I'm glad you found us and joined the family!

forabetterlife

From my experience, the worse the hangover, the more difficult your first day can be. Maybe try to stop or slow down your drinking today, try to get to bed earlier and sleep as much off as you can.

So many people with great advice and wise words and encouragement here. Stay close tomorrow

GGrock

I've been limiting my drinking.. trying to keep it to half of my normal amount. But with me.. When I wake up feeling good, that's when I have the hardest time. I just want to start even earlier because I don't have that raging hangover delaying my start...

Brian339

For me I had to hit my bottom.
I was scared. Still am. It's only for one day though. Today was tough for me. I could only work six hours. It's 95 degrees here and I was in the sun. I just stopped early. Went home and got rest.
Point being. It's not about what I want anymore. I know I am weak. I go we're my strengths are.

DisplacedGRITS

So are you limiting your drinking to taper off or are you just cutting back to see if you can moderate?

Organiclander

Greg I just joined sober recovery today. Reading the post when I first got sober 119 days ago helped me so much I wanted to join and be part of the community.

I had been sober just under 12 years, years ago. Like someone else wrote on another thread today I just did not even care about my sobriety so I stopped doing what needs to be done to have. I guess just took it for granted. Well fast forward 16 years later and I am getting sober again. It is a matter of life or death for me.

On march 18, 2013 I returned to AA and picked up my white chip of surrender. I know I tried controlled drinking at my house alone for the past 2 years but in the end just couldn't stop. I am so glad to be back and working a program because like you I get depressed. Well now that I am 119 days sober that is getting much better. I think most people with drinking problems have depression problems caused by alcohol.

I wish you well brother and hope all goes good.

GGrock

I'm limiting it to half of my normal amount. Which is still a lot!! I'm only doing that cause I don't want to have the "coma" hangover where I stay in bed till 5 pm. Honestly, I'm probably doing it so I don't feel SOO guilty in the morning....

Anna

I know you can do this if you have the motivation. Many of us deal with anxiety/depression and ironically alcohol worsens these issues. Have you talked to your dr about detoxing from alcohol?

DisplacedGRITS

How about you get honest with yourself? You're justifying your drinking and as long as you can do that, you're not going to get sober. You think you can drink and not face the consequences? Because there are consequences that you can't escape from. You either keep on doing what you're doing and you'll face the consequences of an active alcoholic life. Yeah, you can avoid those hangovers if you keep on drinking but is it worth it? Or you can quit drinking, go to your doctor a d deal with the consequence of a hangover and withdrawals. The good thing is, they go away.

So are you going to keep running from the consequences or are you going to turn around and face them? Because, whether you like it or not, they're going to catch you. And it won't be on your terms. You have a chance right now to stop running like a rabbit from a wolf. You're going to pay for your drinking one way or another. How about you choose to turn around and face it? Get. Brutally honest with yourself. Until you do, you ain't gonna make it, hon.

Organiclander

Greg do the best you can and sleep well.

Let us know how you are tomorrow.

Notmyrealname

You can do it, Greg. Just need to take the plunge on that first day, get through that and you get some momentum in your favor. You get through two more days and you are starting to feel better. Add four more days (feeling better each day) and you have a week banked by now, and you feel like a new man.

Just need to make that leap of faith, put down the drink and work through that first day. Good luck!

GGrock

Thanks everyone for your input, I appreciate it!