teardrop

hi not been on here for ages, not had a drink for 2 months and 1 day, but nearly giving in

im going mental

i hate everything

i dont like anyone

i feel like crying

i feel like killing myself

i feel like getting pissed

i feel like some thing is missing in my life

i never get past 3 month sober, i cant see me getting much longer this time

ive also got ocd fear of catching germs and warts and verucas and i keep washing my hands or just avoid touching stuff, everyday stuff remotes switches taps handles, or i wash them too, i never had any sucsess with help with that cbt never worked, my anxiety levels are too high, alcohol took it away just for a few hours im off f ing mental here

dave

quitforme79

I had large cravings and intense feelings at the 2 month mark. If someone is not there with you to speak with please go to your dr or the nearest emergency room. They are trained to help us when we have severe anxiety. You are not alone!

teardrop

hi i dont know where you are from but noone round here will help

where do you mean me to go ?

i am in uk

i even got arrested for running out of hospital after slashing my wrists while pissed once, arrested for my own safety, took to a mental hospital, seen by a doctor and phsycyatrist and told to go home, got no follow up help

it was all a waste of time they may as well of left me to bleed to death

aa is too god in my face

got no where else to go

my wife doestn get it, doesnt understand why after 2 months it so hard

id go to bed right now if i could sleep but i cant sleep

quitforme79

I'm in the United States. I have gone to a hospital before because of anxiety & feelings like you are having now. I got the help I needed. I hope you decide to go!

ScottFromWI

First thing you need to do Teardrop is calm down and realize that it's just anxiety that you are feeling.

Once you've done that, you need to calmly seek some type of help. If you were taken to a mental hospital there, does it still exist? Even though they may not have scheduled a follow up visit, that doesn't mean you can't call them back and ask to be seen again.

Unless you live in a very rural area, there are more than likely local chapters of AA or other recovery methods that can help or have 24 hour hotlines. There is probably also an addiction hotline that will let you know what types of resources are available. I'm not in the UK but hopefully someone who is will be able to reply with that information.

Most importantly, you have to realize that there are plenty of places to go and get help - you are just either refusing to accept them or not searching for them. It's very common for those of us that are addicted to refuse help, you are not alone.

Nuudawn

Aww honey..then getting drunk isn't the answer no is it? I'm hoping someone from the UK will be round shortly. Going to emergency sober is a little different than pissed right? Sweetie you need help and attention right now. It sounds like you're drowning...breathe...don't drink...but get med attention. Is there a crisis line you could call? You are IN CRISIS!

ippochick

in the UK - go to A&E and ask to see the duty Psychiatrist or Crisis Team. i've done it before and they helped me. get some help, please.

edit: print out your first post in this thread and give it to a medical professional to read. it may be easier than trying to articulate whilst very anxious.

ReadyAtLast

I'm in the UK too. at 3 months sober I was feeling similar to you so totallyunderstand.I didn't want to go to my doc butfelt so bad andhopeless I forced myself to go.I'm so glad I did now., he put me on anti-depressants and I feltbetter very quickly(also helped my obsessive thoughts and comulsive actions). It helped me immensely. I'm now 7months plus sober and coming off them. being sober no longer feels 'new' and I'm used to my new life so feel strong enough todo so.I'm not a doc of course or giving medical advice but your symptoms sound very much like my depression ones. My GP was incredibly understanding and I felt relief and a weight off my shoulders,I was unburdened.Please make an urgent appointment

teardrop

im not being ungrateful but i fail to beleive that the hospital will help at all, i do live in a ruraral area hospital is 10 miles nearest a e is 20 miles

also once with my drink behaviour, my doctor said if and when you want to dry out go to hospital, so after passing out and being found in a pool of my own sick a ambulance was called, they got me in it, (i had already gained consious) then they said we cant do anything we cant take you to dry out etc etc and told me to get back out and go in my house

they all suck here, think they want people like me to die slowly because of being addicted to alcohol and getting in stupid states

Opivotal

Hi teardrop,

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Please call the hotline if you're feeling suicidal. I've also included the link to a forum that may help you.


Suicide Forum - A support forum for people in crisis

Suicide Hotline UK .... In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90.

teardrop

im already on prozac my doctor gave me two weeks of librium and repeat prescription prozac and told me to take them as prescribed which i did, i felt good at fisrt as on both medications but now only on prozac it doesnt seem to do anything for my depresion or anxiety, al it does is mess with my sex life ( side affects) i been on prozac over 1 year now and in that time had 3 librium detox as i gone back on booze

Katt1825

Teardrop that is why you need to see a doctor. Your medications could even be contributing to how you are feeling right now. I have been on several anti-depressants and one of them made me feel absolutely hopeless and like I couldn't go on. After my doc switched it I was able to cope.
If you really are feeling this way please call a hotline or get a doctors opinion. There is a better day to look forward to, I promise.

MyTimeNow

Hey teardrop - I hear you.

Years ago I went through a huge self harming stage, went to A&E with a glass cut that left my thigh wide open *if TMI for anybody please ask for it to be moderated* My mum took me, she knew how ill I was at the time, she wanted me sectioned. I was xrayed and stitched up. I had to wait for the duty psychiatrist to see me - I didn't want to be sectioned, but come on, I'm screaming for help here... Yep, fine to go home! That's it, nothing else.

I think with the NHS you have to be assertive, you have to ASK and if that doesn't work you have to ask again, and again. Of course the best way of doing this is to be vocal and not through any kind of self harm/suicide attempt.

I was on Prozac too and out of all the anti-depressants I have tried it was the worst for anxiety for me. I suggest going back to your GP and saying - look, my anxiety levels are through the roof, please can we look at this and change the medication if necessary.

I've just read your librium post. Please see your GP or another one. With prozac, because of the anxiety, my GP added stelazine to calm me (an anti psychotic - I'm not psychotic) and on top of that temazepam - just to get the best results from the prozac. THAT is when all the self harming mentioned above started happening. I was absolutely mind effed.

I know it's hard arguing with the GP but please try and change to something that agrees with you teardrop. This could all be being caused my a med that is supposed to be helping you. There are plenty of alternatives that are easy to switch to.

All the best. Please be proactive.

ReadyAtLast

please def see your doc then.If you've been drinking on anti-d's till 2 months ago it makes them ineffective anyway so it'll be having a different effect on you now you've stopped drinking . Think also resistance increases after a while.your GP who is aware of your history will be able to help and advise you.If you don't like your GP then maybe try and change one. We're lucky in the UK we have free healthcare on demand-please make use of it as you need to.

ReadyAtLast

This is very interesting MTN.I was on Prozac too and one of the reasons I'm coming off it now is it's making me more anxious,Depression gone but anxiety increased. strangelyeven after just a few days off it myanxietyhas reduced

sorry teardrop didn't mean to hijack your thread

ippochick

prozac bottomed out for me after about a year, and made me suicidal. i'm on effexor and seroquel now and it's working for me.

teardrop - please call someone if you won't go to A&E. samaritans, suicide hotline, out of hours GP?

Dee74

These some great advice here Dave - I hope you're thinking about following some of it up.

there's some great reading here too - and international hotlines and forums that may help

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

theres some local links here too
Suicide - Getting help - NHS Choices

how are you doing?

D

teardrop

got a appointment at doctors next tuesday to talk about my medication and depression and anxiety

i dont feel too bad at the moment

though this really nice hot sunny weather is hard on me, i keep wanting to just get drunk in the garden with music on and a bbq

ive done 3 christmas and new years sober 2 birthdays sober a holiday sober a car race camping meet weekend sober wedding anniversarry sober etc but this hot weather is playing havok in my head

im 41 and i drank daily from 21 to 38 its so hard

MyTimeNow

It certainly is an odd one. The first time I was on it 15 years ago, it was like a miracle cure for my depression, anxiety and social phobia. When going back on it years later pffft went bonkers!

I'm really glad you've got an appointment teardrop, make sure they don't fob you off as has happened so easily at times for me, write everything down if necessary and just hand it to them - good luck!

Glad you're feeling better too RAL

wiscsober

I am glad you are sober.....for myself all of my mental and physical ailments could only be addressed correctly if I was clean and sober.

Trust me most of the anxiety, ocd, depression, BPD, issues can we worked out

Keep up the good work!