JettBoy

I want to be honest with my partner but I think the best way is to think about what I'm doing and saying before I say it. Lies have become so second nature,I almost believe my own stuff. It's going to take a lot of practice and help from everyone.im really at a loss because I feel like I should be talking to him but I'm afraid that I should not say anything but he insists that I should be talking to him daily if not more. Explanations for my actions become lies or cover ups all not matching each other and I'm forgetting what I told to who..why is it so difficult to just say what is the truth..????? I feel like a big fat loser and I'm terrified I'm going to lose the person I love most in the world,he's so good and I sometimes feel like I should just end it because of how I am and how things hurt him and I feel like he deserves so much more..I don't know I'm just in a messed up place in my head ,not that I want to use ,I just want things back to how they were in the last two months I'd been clean...any input from anyone would be greatly appreciated ...have a good one evryone

thereallucyd

I feel like you are echoing precisely my thoughts. Although today I have accomplished much, I feel I have achieved so little... I feel the damage I have done to my partner and our relationship may be irreparable. I hope to god not. I hope our honesty and sobriety can save us all. All the best to you and your partner.

huntingtontx

I have made so many mistakes in my life, and sometimes I feel it is hopeless. It always has a way of working out. The first thing I would do is just start now being honest. If you don't have that, you have nothing. Let him know that you lied in the past and your lies and the truth are all mess up together. Then just go from there with the truth. If he loves you he will forgive you and understand. If not, it was never meant to be. My prayers are with you.