How should we behave now?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Colorado
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How should we behave now?
Hi guys,
I have a link to what was a very good read:
Can't post the link, so I'll post the pertinent content:
"Probably"
Alcoholics are the very best liars because they are able to use rationalization and justification to convince themselves that a lie is truth. This happens subconsciously. They are not aware that they are, if you’ll pardon the term – mind screwing themselves. Alcoholics adopt a language that facilitates lying in a way that sounds very well intentioned. Their favorite word is, “probably.” This word implies intention where in fact none exists. An alcoholic who tells you they will probably do something is highly unlikely to do it. Using words like these provides them a loop hole – an escape hatch in which no absolutes are given and no promises made. The alcoholic relies on words and phrases like: possibly, maybe, would, could, should, I’d like to, I want to, I need to. These words mean nothing. They sound good but almost always lead to disappointment. Progressively, alcoholism blurs every line and impacts every interaction, every relationship, every part of the alcoholic’s world.
Firehouse Management
Putting blinders on a horse leaves it with no peripheral vision – such is the worldview of the alcoholic. They may attend to many things, but in order to do so they must turn their attention away from one thing and toward another. Multitasking for the alcoholic means making many messes at once. There is no balance for the active alcoholic. As one area of their life declines they will often focus their attention on it and take it to an extreme. As this happens, another part of their life declines and gradually their life becomes dictated by “firehouse management” – every course of action becomes based on the most pressing problem. This is an inevitably downward spiral, though some alcoholics manage to maintain it for a very long time.
External Locus of Control
As alcoholics tend to drink progressively more they will generally conceal the frequency and amount they drink. They will tell you they only had three glasses of wine and this is true. What they have not told you is that each glass was a 16 ounce tumbler. It is not only the drinking that gets hidden; it is also the negative affects alcohol produces in their lives. Alcoholics develop what counselors call “an external locus of control.” Progressively, everything is someone else’s fault. If their job is going poorly it’s because their boss hates them. If their marriage suffers then their spouse is unreasonable. If they fail as parents they will see their children as ungrateful. Everything and everyone becomes a reason to drink. The spiraling alcoholic will often say that they don’t even want to drink but that circumstances like their horrible job/spouse/kids “force” them to.
Self-Pity and the Sense of Entitlement
Alcoholics often have a bizarre sense of entitlement. They reason that having such a difficult/stressful/demanding life entitles them to act in ways that are immature, irresponsible, and selfish. To observe their behavior is to conclude a belief that the world must owe them something. The active alcoholic wallows in self-pity and concludes that they are a victim of life. As they demand more from the world they expect less and less from themselves.
Appearance over Substance
The quickest route to self destruction for alcoholics are the words, “Screw it.” This is a declaration that everything is already screwed so they might as well drink. When people decide to stop drinking we encourage them to notice that “It” is actually, “Me.” This is evident in, “It’s not worth it.” On some level the alcoholic always knows the truth and they are usually working hard not to know it. They pretend and demand that those close to them buy into the fantasy that all is well. Life becomes progressively less about anything substantive and progressively more about maintaining appearances. This is well explained in Pink’s song, “Family Portrait.” “In our family portrait we look pretty happy. We look pretty normal…”
Master Manipulators
Alcoholics are master manipulators. They may not have been con artists before they started drinking but they come to have remarkable skills. They are the folks who can sell ice to Eskimos. They will pick a fight with you because they want to leave and they will have you believing it’s your fault. They show little or no accountability. They may have had integrity before their addiction kicked in but it will be conspicuously absent from their lives as they spiral. There is often one exception to this rule for each alcoholic – one thing they do especially well and it will most generally be their sole source of self esteem. We have known a large number of alcoholics who have incredible work ethics because being a good worker is the one thing they know they’re good at…well, they will say that and drinking.
Read more: Alcoholic Thinking - Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic Thinks
I see by reading this I do think this way (almost all of it). I am wondering though, what is "normal" thinking like?
For instance:
I use the word 'probably' a LOT (possibly, etc.) and I do think in the terms of not committing. I like to believe I have noble causes sometimes however. I find at work, I want to set expectations with customers. If using 'probably', 'maybe' or 'possibly' is wrong, how else should I express this?
I find I cannot multi-task very well. My mind gets stuck in a particular mode and I have to attend to an issue. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, no one truly 'multi-tasks' but I would appreciate it if someone has some insight into how to handle many things at once without going nuts.
The 'External Locus of Control' I do get and have identified this as a bad character trait, so I am in total agreement on this.
My worst trait I think is that I do have this grandiose sense of entitlement. At work, I feel like I constantly shoulder the load. I would welcome any advice on how to stop feeling like I'm getting screwed over a lot.
Thanks for allowing me to share.
I have a link to what was a very good read:
Can't post the link, so I'll post the pertinent content:
"Probably"
Alcoholics are the very best liars because they are able to use rationalization and justification to convince themselves that a lie is truth. This happens subconsciously. They are not aware that they are, if you’ll pardon the term – mind screwing themselves. Alcoholics adopt a language that facilitates lying in a way that sounds very well intentioned. Their favorite word is, “probably.” This word implies intention where in fact none exists. An alcoholic who tells you they will probably do something is highly unlikely to do it. Using words like these provides them a loop hole – an escape hatch in which no absolutes are given and no promises made. The alcoholic relies on words and phrases like: possibly, maybe, would, could, should, I’d like to, I want to, I need to. These words mean nothing. They sound good but almost always lead to disappointment. Progressively, alcoholism blurs every line and impacts every interaction, every relationship, every part of the alcoholic’s world.
Firehouse Management
Putting blinders on a horse leaves it with no peripheral vision – such is the worldview of the alcoholic. They may attend to many things, but in order to do so they must turn their attention away from one thing and toward another. Multitasking for the alcoholic means making many messes at once. There is no balance for the active alcoholic. As one area of their life declines they will often focus their attention on it and take it to an extreme. As this happens, another part of their life declines and gradually their life becomes dictated by “firehouse management” – every course of action becomes based on the most pressing problem. This is an inevitably downward spiral, though some alcoholics manage to maintain it for a very long time.
External Locus of Control
As alcoholics tend to drink progressively more they will generally conceal the frequency and amount they drink. They will tell you they only had three glasses of wine and this is true. What they have not told you is that each glass was a 16 ounce tumbler. It is not only the drinking that gets hidden; it is also the negative affects alcohol produces in their lives. Alcoholics develop what counselors call “an external locus of control.” Progressively, everything is someone else’s fault. If their job is going poorly it’s because their boss hates them. If their marriage suffers then their spouse is unreasonable. If they fail as parents they will see their children as ungrateful. Everything and everyone becomes a reason to drink. The spiraling alcoholic will often say that they don’t even want to drink but that circumstances like their horrible job/spouse/kids “force” them to.
Self-Pity and the Sense of Entitlement
Alcoholics often have a bizarre sense of entitlement. They reason that having such a difficult/stressful/demanding life entitles them to act in ways that are immature, irresponsible, and selfish. To observe their behavior is to conclude a belief that the world must owe them something. The active alcoholic wallows in self-pity and concludes that they are a victim of life. As they demand more from the world they expect less and less from themselves.
Appearance over Substance
The quickest route to self destruction for alcoholics are the words, “Screw it.” This is a declaration that everything is already screwed so they might as well drink. When people decide to stop drinking we encourage them to notice that “It” is actually, “Me.” This is evident in, “It’s not worth it.” On some level the alcoholic always knows the truth and they are usually working hard not to know it. They pretend and demand that those close to them buy into the fantasy that all is well. Life becomes progressively less about anything substantive and progressively more about maintaining appearances. This is well explained in Pink’s song, “Family Portrait.” “In our family portrait we look pretty happy. We look pretty normal…”
Master Manipulators
Alcoholics are master manipulators. They may not have been con artists before they started drinking but they come to have remarkable skills. They are the folks who can sell ice to Eskimos. They will pick a fight with you because they want to leave and they will have you believing it’s your fault. They show little or no accountability. They may have had integrity before their addiction kicked in but it will be conspicuously absent from their lives as they spiral. There is often one exception to this rule for each alcoholic – one thing they do especially well and it will most generally be their sole source of self esteem. We have known a large number of alcoholics who have incredible work ethics because being a good worker is the one thing they know they’re good at…well, they will say that and drinking.
Read more: Alcoholic Thinking - Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic Thinks
I see by reading this I do think this way (almost all of it). I am wondering though, what is "normal" thinking like?
For instance:
I use the word 'probably' a LOT (possibly, etc.) and I do think in the terms of not committing. I like to believe I have noble causes sometimes however. I find at work, I want to set expectations with customers. If using 'probably', 'maybe' or 'possibly' is wrong, how else should I express this?
I find I cannot multi-task very well. My mind gets stuck in a particular mode and I have to attend to an issue. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, no one truly 'multi-tasks' but I would appreciate it if someone has some insight into how to handle many things at once without going nuts.
The 'External Locus of Control' I do get and have identified this as a bad character trait, so I am in total agreement on this.
My worst trait I think is that I do have this grandiose sense of entitlement. At work, I feel like I constantly shoulder the load. I would welcome any advice on how to stop feeling like I'm getting screwed over a lot.
Thanks for allowing me to share.
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Originally Posted by jnoob22 
External Locus of Control
develop what counselors call “an external locus of control.” Progressively, everything is someone else’s fault.
Self-Pity
Appearance over Substance
In order to successfully remove the alcohol, I must rid myself of these traits. Alcohol did not cause my defective thinking..it exacerbated and prolonged it. Alcohol was my solution to maladaptive thinking and lack of coping mechanisms..and a big ole ugly shame core that made me believe my being was wrong. I could not tolerate...myself.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 18
So, I take it to mean, consciously do 1 thing at a time and let the others hang until you can get to them? My problem is letting the others hang. That causes me to lose concentration on the task at hand. ;-)
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Welcome to Sober Recovery. Are you in recovery? Or drinking?
If you have a drinking problem I might have some advice. If you have a thinking problem...
That was my drinking problem, my thinking.
If you have a drinking problem I might have some advice. If you have a thinking problem...
That was my drinking problem, my thinking.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 559
i'll take some of that, but i'll also take issue with bits of it.
to state unequivocally that alcoholics 'wallow in self-pity' fails to acknowledge circumstances and situations that have been pivotal in the descent into chaos in the first instance.
my alcoholic voice was poked into existence at the age of 9. my parents encouraged me to drink with them in order to justify their consumption.
many people reach for alcohol from a place of pain. it's more 'socially acceptable' than admitting to mental health issues, and self-medication can seem to be a valid option when a person is in a place of despair. i could be described as a 'functional' alcoholic in my drinking days. i held down a responsible job, travelled the world - using alcohol to bolster my confidence. rightly or wrongly, this is how it was. self-destructive? certainly. there is no denying that an alcoholic may have an innate ability to balls things up, all the while believing that they are in control.
when i was in denial about the extent of my problem, i lied to my husband about my drinking. i drank in secret, hid bottles, and hated myself - just not quite enough to lose it all when it came down to the final reckoning.
yes, alcoholism affects more than just the alcoholic, and i fully acknowledge the damage i wrought. i just wanted to say that, sadly, some people really are victims of circumstance. this is not an excuse; however, nor is it self-pitying.
for some of us, it has taken a lifetime of chaos for us to see that there is another way. i consider myself lucky that i am alive to make amends.
to state unequivocally that alcoholics 'wallow in self-pity' fails to acknowledge circumstances and situations that have been pivotal in the descent into chaos in the first instance.
my alcoholic voice was poked into existence at the age of 9. my parents encouraged me to drink with them in order to justify their consumption.
many people reach for alcohol from a place of pain. it's more 'socially acceptable' than admitting to mental health issues, and self-medication can seem to be a valid option when a person is in a place of despair. i could be described as a 'functional' alcoholic in my drinking days. i held down a responsible job, travelled the world - using alcohol to bolster my confidence. rightly or wrongly, this is how it was. self-destructive? certainly. there is no denying that an alcoholic may have an innate ability to balls things up, all the while believing that they are in control.
when i was in denial about the extent of my problem, i lied to my husband about my drinking. i drank in secret, hid bottles, and hated myself - just not quite enough to lose it all when it came down to the final reckoning.
yes, alcoholism affects more than just the alcoholic, and i fully acknowledge the damage i wrought. i just wanted to say that, sadly, some people really are victims of circumstance. this is not an excuse; however, nor is it self-pitying.
for some of us, it has taken a lifetime of chaos for us to see that there is another way. i consider myself lucky that i am alive to make amends.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
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Welcome to SR Jnoob 
And thanks for this post. It reminds me of something my counsellor gave me once and I posted here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-thinking.html
I constantly refer back to this and make sure I am not doing any of the things listed because I think it is easy to fall back on 'addictive thinking'.
With regards to the 'getting screwed over bit' I think alot of the above stuff is relevant in sorting that. If you can stop yourself every time you have this grandiose sense of entitlement then eventually it will lessen. It may take time but if you pin point ways of thinking that aren't correct or helpful then it is easier to overcome them than if we are just pretending everything is fine with us but other people are screwing us (blaming). I also love the concept of 'cleaning up our own side of the street'. What other people are doing isn't our business, but we can deal with our own sh*t and make things right with us and our own actions.
With everything though, these things take time and practice so don't beat yourself up if you feel 'grandiose' at any time
And thanks for this post. It reminds me of something my counsellor gave me once and I posted here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-thinking.html
I constantly refer back to this and make sure I am not doing any of the things listed because I think it is easy to fall back on 'addictive thinking'.
Originally Posted by jnoob22
My worst trait I think is that I do have this grandiose sense of entitlement. At work, I feel like I constantly shoulder the load. I would welcome any advice on how to stop feeling like I'm getting screwed over a lot.
With everything though, these things take time and practice so don't beat yourself up if you feel 'grandiose' at any time
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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This really resonates with me. Especially the part about being really good at one thing so you can feel good about yourself and attach your self worth to that instead of alcoholism. For me it is being an excellent photographer, but failing to acknowledge all the other parts of my life that were being ignored. The craziest thing about recovery is realizing the drinking isn't the problem the thinking is. The drinking is a symptom and something ill never be able to do again, but it wasn't the cause. I was an addict long before I ever picked up.
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Originally Posted by ippochick
many people reach for alcohol from a place of pain. it's more 'socially acceptable' than admitting to mental health issues, and self-medication can seem to be a valid option when a person is in a place of despair.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Thanks for everyone's contributions here. Hypochondriac, I'll try to pull my hand from the flame every time I get those feelings that I'm being singled out. :-) That actually helped me with control issues I was having -- I just didn't realized that I was doing it because I was going to AA meetings heavily at the time and learning from others and meditating on the serenity prayer. ;-)
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Thanks for posting this excerpt jnoob.
My opinion - and (too often sad or bitter) experience/s - tend more along the lines of what ippochick and Nuudawn observed.
I've done a great deal of thinking (!), reflecting, reading etc about this thing called 'alcoholic thinking'. With all due respect to your post, or rather what the article / book says, I currently find myself in a curious - though not unique - state of mind about this issue.
I have relapsed for much of this year; indeed, have drunk again less than a day after coming home from the nth detox (in a rehab). I've made it through the second day, until late in the day, when I've picked up again.
I mention this only to note that, for me, right now, all the stuff about resentments / lying / grandiosity etc etc which abounds in much of the literature, including the BB as someone noted before - all that (for me) is not actually relevant, now. For me, now, I know that my inability to maintain a continued period of sobriety, my relapse periods getting closer and closer together, are solely about my brain being stuck 'on' the addiction / craving.
It's all physiological, currently, for me, I must stress. By this I mean:
I suppose what I'm trying to suggest is merely that the universalising of certain traits of thinking and behaviour to Addiction / Alcoholism ALONE can be helpful for some. But not for all of us. There are many shades of grey, just like in life.
Having said all that, I'm glad you posted this excerpt. SR is such a great place where we can have these kinds of reflections and discussions. So, thank you!
My opinion - and (too often sad or bitter) experience/s - tend more along the lines of what ippochick and Nuudawn observed.
I've done a great deal of thinking (!), reflecting, reading etc about this thing called 'alcoholic thinking'. With all due respect to your post, or rather what the article / book says, I currently find myself in a curious - though not unique - state of mind about this issue.
I have relapsed for much of this year; indeed, have drunk again less than a day after coming home from the nth detox (in a rehab). I've made it through the second day, until late in the day, when I've picked up again.
I mention this only to note that, for me, right now, all the stuff about resentments / lying / grandiosity etc etc which abounds in much of the literature, including the BB as someone noted before - all that (for me) is not actually relevant, now. For me, now, I know that my inability to maintain a continued period of sobriety, my relapse periods getting closer and closer together, are solely about my brain being stuck 'on' the addiction / craving.
It's all physiological, currently, for me, I must stress. By this I mean:
- I have no great stressors happening;
- I've let go of many old resentments (Step four stuff, which I have done myself, in my head as it were over the last few years);
- I have come to recognise my moments of grandiosity (e.g. 'I'm smarter / more educated / blah blah than others');
- I rarely lied and hid my drinking at its worst, which was mostly during 2009-end of 2011;
- I don't lie or hide my drinking in my slips or relapses of the past year and right up until this very day (I always went along to a meeting the day after a slip or after a few weeks of relapse, and told people the truth, and also tell my (few) friends and family members.
- I've learned NOT to do the external locus of control thing, though, to be sure, I did a lot of that for many years, when I was drinking AND when I wasn't. I know now, in my dotage (only 57 but feels like my dotage :-)), that practising internal locus of control (not-blaming others for my feelings or my drinking) is frankly a key part of the wisdom of simply ageing.
I suppose what I'm trying to suggest is merely that the universalising of certain traits of thinking and behaviour to Addiction / Alcoholism ALONE can be helpful for some. But not for all of us. There are many shades of grey, just like in life.
Having said all that, I'm glad you posted this excerpt. SR is such a great place where we can have these kinds of reflections and discussions. So, thank you!
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Originally Posted by jnoob22
My worst trait I think is that I do have this grandiose sense of entitlement. At work, I feel like I constantly shoulder the load. I would welcome any advice on how to stop feeling like I'm getting screwed over a lot.
I trained on the new jobs, I learned fast and I did well. I was a lot faster and more accurate then others that have been there longer. My stats proved this. We had a quota as a base and I did twice the quota. I was all that and a bag of chips! I still did not get the recognition I thought I deserved. I got angry.
Then I switched job in he company. Again I excelled. I was faster then the other person that was also doing the same work. I could get my share done in half the time. Then I got my review and raise. Damn it. I was not getting the recognition. WTH? I got angry.
I realized that I had spent a lot of time thinking about how things should be done. If they were done this way it would be easier. If it was done that way it would be faster. If it was done MY way it would make sense.
During recovery I have learned that this was another situation I was trying to control. If all the players would just play their parts that I had created in my mind then all would be right in the work world. I stopped doing that. I was angry at something I had no control over and I never had any control over it so getting angry about it was moot.
I let go. I stopped fighting for things to be my way. It is only a job after all. I had to remind myself of that. I also carried resentments of getting let go of my last job right into this one. Once I did that things got much better. I let go of the anger. I let go of the resentments that in reality were holding me back.
So now I go to work, I do my job the best I can and I go home. The real recovery for me is in my life outside of work. They are not going to put my resume on my headstone.
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GracieLou, thanks for sharing about the job and entitlement issues. That is me to a T!!! Except that I work in enterprise software support.
For the last 2 years (before I got promoted - and still struggle to be grateful btw ), I have been tethered to a person who knows the product as well as I do but did half the work I did (actually I found out this person did 45% and I did 55% -- go figure and this person is half my age roughly so he does not have that work drive yet).
In the last 90 days or so, I started letting go and just said, I'll work wherever they will let me. Somehow as if I by magic, I was finally allowed to work at a higher level and more solo in nature. So, I am working on being grateful first and very close: giving up control over day to day things. It is tough.
For the last 2 years (before I got promoted - and still struggle to be grateful btw
), I have been tethered to a person who knows the product as well as I do but did half the work I did (actually I found out this person did 45% and I did 55% -- go figure and this person is half my age roughly so he does not have that work drive yet). In the last 90 days or so, I started letting go and just said, I'll work wherever they will let me. Somehow as if I by magic, I was finally allowed to work at a higher level and more solo in nature. So, I am working on being grateful first and very close: giving up control over day to day things. It is tough.
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External Locus of Control
The belief that events in one’s life, whether good or bad, are caused by uncontrollable factors such as the environment, other people, or a higher power.
The term locus of control was first introduced in the 1950s by psychologist Julian Rotter. It refers to a person's basic belief system about the influences that affect outcomes in their lives. There are two classifications of people in this theory: internal and external locus of control. The most successful people tend to be internal, while those with an external locus of control tend to be more negative about the world and their place in it.
People with an internal locus of control believe that they are primarily responsible for the outcomes in their lives. These people tend to be self-reliant and believe that nothing can hold them back except themselves. Studies have shown that those with an internal locus of control tend to be more successful people because they believe they can be and work toward that goal. Men tend to be more internally focused, while studies have also shown that the older a person gets the more internally focused they become.
Those with an external locus of control believe that forces outside of themselves affect their ability to succeed. They tend to stake their future on things such as fate, luck, god or society. Because they believe they have very little personal stake in their future, those with an external locus of control tend to put less effort forward on most projects. Studies show that they are generally less successful in college and career than those with an internal locus of control.
Sorry I just wanted to add a bit more info on External Locus of Control...I think it's a very important thing to consider in addiction...and life really. It's more than just "blame" and drink.
The belief that events in one’s life, whether good or bad, are caused by uncontrollable factors such as the environment, other people, or a higher power.
- Psych Central
The term locus of control was first introduced in the 1950s by psychologist Julian Rotter. It refers to a person's basic belief system about the influences that affect outcomes in their lives. There are two classifications of people in this theory: internal and external locus of control. The most successful people tend to be internal, while those with an external locus of control tend to be more negative about the world and their place in it.
People with an internal locus of control believe that they are primarily responsible for the outcomes in their lives. These people tend to be self-reliant and believe that nothing can hold them back except themselves. Studies have shown that those with an internal locus of control tend to be more successful people because they believe they can be and work toward that goal. Men tend to be more internally focused, while studies have also shown that the older a person gets the more internally focused they become.
Those with an external locus of control believe that forces outside of themselves affect their ability to succeed. They tend to stake their future on things such as fate, luck, god or society. Because they believe they have very little personal stake in their future, those with an external locus of control tend to put less effort forward on most projects. Studies show that they are generally less successful in college and career than those with an internal locus of control.
Sorry I just wanted to add a bit more info on External Locus of Control...I think it's a very important thing to consider in addiction...and life really. It's more than just "blame" and drink.
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Originally Posted by jnoob22
For the last 2 years (before I got promoted - and still struggle to be grateful btw ), I have been tethered to a person who knows the product as well as I do but did half the work I did (actually I found out this person did 45% and I did 55% -- go figure and this person is half my age roughly so he does not have that work drive yet).
), I have been tethered to a person who knows the product as well as I do but did half the work I did (actually I found out this person did 45% and I did 55% -- go figure and this person is half my age roughly so he does not have that work drive yet).I dig in and get the work done. That is just me and my personality. I have always been that way. The other person takes her sweet time, talks a lot, plays on the internet etc.
It did not take me long to see why it was taking her so long and days she is out I can handle all the files myself. Now come January through April then we do need two people. No doubt there. The volume is just to much for one.
I became frustrated because I was done and it would take her another two hours. I knew she was dragging it out and it down right pissed me off because I felt it her actions reflected on me and my work ethic.
I finally let go of that too. I figured if the bosses are not complaining then why should I.
Originally Posted by jnoob22
In the last 90 days or so, I started letting go and just said, I'll work wherever they will let me. Somehow as if I by magic, I was finally allowed to work at a higher level and more solo in nature. So, I am working on being grateful first and very close: giving up control over day to day things. It is tough.
Three weeks ago they made some changes. Now they have given me access to download the files and set them up to drop earlier so they are ready at 6:30 am when I start instead of 8 am when she starts. I can jump right on them and start working. They also set a time they have to be done by so no more dragging of the feet.
I guess is just goes to show that if we are patient and basically mind our own business then good things do come to pass...lol
I am grateful for my job. I am glad it was in the same industry so I did not have to start from scratch. Losing my job at 41 was a scary friggin' thing!
The hard part was starting almost at the bottom again but after 2 1/2 years I can see that hard work does pay off. I am kinda in the trenches but it is the perfect place for me. I do well there and I like my job.
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Sounds like an identical situation GracieLou :-) or very near it. I was the only one complaining about it. My boss has agreed to a certain extent but then he kind of jokes with me saying, sometimes man you act like you are God's gift to this department -- come on, you don't do everything like you think you do. Good to have people in your life who will set you straight without firing you lol :-D
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