JettBoy

Hey everyone ,well just when this boy thinks everything's is going ok I'm pleasantly surprised ,after an awesome week at work and I made some decent money,which I gave to mypartnerto start catching up on my bills ,yesterday after work,I come home cause we were going to a party ,I changed too some allergy meds and got ready,mind you it's been raining here and with all the pollen it's tuff to breathe. Anyway we get there and I was feeling a lil groggy from the meds and right away the accusations start,I'm using,he won't go through this again and blah blah blah,well I didn't use and I was planning on starting back going to meetings today and on top of that he gives me the fourth eight hour ultimatum,I I don't do what he feels is enough effort towards my recovery buy Tuesday he's ending the relationship.im so mad right now,I worked my ass off all week,took my suboxone as I was supposed to gave Him all my money to pay bills he'll,I even tried to make nice and took him out to dinner,now I'm given a time frame.look I know it sucks cause I did this,I'm the addict and I'm the reason for him not trusting me but how am I supposed to do what he wants in 48 hours that's going to make home happy.i feel like no matter what I do it's never good enough or right ..he drinks, I don't say anything about that but oh wait,that's respectable because he's never lost a job or not gone to work because of it.i just want to be loved for the good guy I am,yea I'm an addict but I'm not a ******* monster,I'm good to people and I go out of my way to help others but it seems like him knowing I have a problem with a aa,if I don't go then he's ending it so then I feel my hands being forced and I get an attitude.im doing this for me first and I'm doing to make things right again for us.but when he puts these ultimatums down is when I get a huge chip on my shoulders and don't want to do anything,it's 5:43 am,I should be sleeping but I was so f'in mad I thought I'd post. This man asked me to marry him two years ago,he knew who and what I was from jump street.I've always been onset about that.i just wish he could love me for me,maybe it's just not possible for anyone to love me...stay tuned!!!!!!!

Dee74

Hi JettBoy

I think in one respect we need to be patient - I was a screw up for a long time and it took a while for people to trust me again.

That being said - you still have a basic human right to not put up with behaviour you find demeaning or controlling.

D

least

With time the trust will come back. Just keep doing the next right thing and try not to let him get you upset.